


Tsukishima Is Tsuffering

by sunrayhoseok (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Watari Shinji, F/F, Group chat, M/M, Skype, but also memes, everyother chapter has angst sorry, fuck i love him, i LOVE yamguchi tadashi, i made yachi i giant meme online u gotta love friendly crow, i relate to tsukishima kei because i too am tsuffering and love yamaguchi tadashi, i would die for yamaguchi tadashi, idk its starts off meme like and i liked it and now i wanT ALL MY CHILDREN, or something like skype i say its skype but i suck at everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 52,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9799289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sunrayhoseok
Summary: Yamaguchi made a cheeky group chat for the Karasuno First Years.He causes Tsukki a great deal of Tsuffering.





	1. i cant go to america or every one will ask me if im jackie chan TSUKKI

**Author's Note:**

> i love haikyuu and yamaguchi tadashi probably more than i love myself honestly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yamagucci** : tsukki late night you were crying over littlefoot's mom on skype for like two hours
> 
>  **Tsukishimasaurus** : You don't have any proof of that 
> 
> **yamagucci** : i took like twenty screenshots
> 
>  **Tsukishimasaurus** : That's not me
> 
>  **yamagucci** : tsukki
> 
>  **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm legally dead, you can't prove anything

**Tsukishimasaurus** : H onestly what the fuck

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi what have you done

 **yamagucci** : i thought making a first year chat would be nice

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I gave you my skype for bussiness purposes only

 **yamagucci** : tsukki late night you were crying over littlefoot's mom on skype for like two hours

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You don't have any proof of that

 **yamagucci** : i took like twenty screenshots

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : That's not me

 **yamagucci** : tsukki

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm legally dead, you can't prove anything

 **LittleGiant** : what

 **friendlycrow** : what

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Ignore the previous messages

 **friendlycrow** : i dont think im ever getting over littlefoots mom

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : She gets it

 **LittleGiant** : whos littlefoot??

 **Tsukishimasaurus** has removed **LittleGiant** from **Karasuno First Years!**

 **yamagucci** : that wasn't very nice tsukki

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : He knows what he did

 **yamagucci** had added **LittleGiant** to **Karasuno First Years!**

 **LittleGiant** : isnt that the dino from the land before time

 **friendlycrow** : yes hinata

 **LittleGiant** : never watched that show

 **LittleGiant** : i was just really into digimon

 **yamagucci** : i always preferred pokemon

 **LittleGiant** : i never really liked pokemon

 **yamagucci** has removed **LittleGiant** from **Karasuno First Years!**

 **yamagucci** : negativity isn't needed in this chat

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : That wasn't very nice Yamaguchi

 **yamagucci** : he said he didn't like pokemon

 **friendlycrow** : i have to side with yamaguchi on this one

 **yamagucci** : she gets it

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Hinata's been added and removed twice, this chat hasn't even existed for an hour

 **settersoul** : what about shouyou 

**Tsukishimasaurus** : Is that your trigger word or something

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You say 'Hinata' and you just pop up

 **settersoul** : yeah probably

 **settersoul** has added **LittleGiant** to **Karasuno First Years!**

 **settersoul** : tjats a really stupid chat name

 **yamagucci** : i named the chat

 **settersoul** : sorry it's a great name

 **yamagucci** : i feel so loved

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Because you are loved

 **yamagucci** : oh god what did you guys do?

 **yamagucci** : who do i have to help you bury?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Hinata

 **friendlycrow** : hinata

 **settersoul** : oikawa

 **settersoul** : oh

 **settersoul** : shouyou**

 **LittleGiant** : WHAT did i do

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You don't just diss Pokemon

 **settersoul** : wait what did shouyou say about pokemon?

 **LittleGiant** : i said i never really liked it idk

 **settersoul** had removed **LittleGiant** from **Karasuno First Years!**

 **settersoul** : you dont just diss pokemon

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Never thought we'd ever agree on anything

 **settersoul** : maybe all we needed was to rid our lives of shouyou

 **friendlycrow** : my skin is clear, my vision is 20/20, i have straight A's, my crops are thriving

 **yamagucci** : i am getting eight hours of sleep a night, the weather is beautiful, all nations are at peace

 **settersoul** : shouyou is reallyoffended

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : How do you know?

 **settersoul** : he's with me rn

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Gay

 **settersoul** : choosing to ignore that

 **friendlycrow** : hinata is spamming me i kind of want to block him

 **friendlycrow** : kageyama dont tell him that

 **settersoul** : he read it

 **friendlycrow** : I FEEL BAD FOR JOINING IN HIANTA JMSORRY

 **settersoul** : hes so offended guys i dont like this it stopped being fun

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Add him back, Lover Boy

 **settersoul** : ...

 **settersoul** has added **LittleGiant** to **Karasuno First Years!**

 **friendlycrow** : kagehina confirmed

 **settersoul** : the fucks a kagehina

 **settersoul** : wait

 **settersoul** : yachi waht the fuck

 **friendlycrow** : it wasnt ME it was shimizu senpai

 **settersoul** : shouyou you're back in the chat why are you still reading over my shoulder

 **settersoul** : hes pouting i think we really offended him

 **friendlycrow** : hinata if you stop pouting ill do your english homework

 **LittleGiant** : even the essay?

 **yamagucci** : omfg

 **friendlycrow** : you write it in jap but ill translate ya

 **LittleGiant** : ok whats poppin peeps

 **LittleGiant** : tobio just kicked me

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I don't really blame him

 **LittleGiant** : mean

 **yamagucci** : tsukki play nice

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Shut up, Yamaguchi

 **yamagucci** : square the fuck up, tsukki

 **friendlycrow** : irl yamaguchi and online yamaguchi are very different

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I know, but he doesn't believe me when I tell him though

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : He has no verbal filter online, way too much power

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I will walk to your room and fucking deck you, Tadashi

 **friendlycrow** : oh crud bringing out the given names

 **friendlycrow** : where is my tea ayyy

 **friendlycrow** : no but tsukishima please dont actually punch yamaguchi ill be really concerned if you do

 **yamagucci** : dw yachi tsukkis all bark and no bite

 **yamagucci** : tsukki LOVES me

 **yamagucci** : like one time, we got into a fight and tsukki got really upset with me, so he pushed me over and then he started crying because i scraped up my palms

 **friendlycrow** : wth thats adorable awe awe

 **friendlycrow** : tsukkiyama awe awe

 **yamagucci** : shimizu senpai need2stop with the ships

 **friendlycrow** : to be fair i came up with tsukkiyama

 **friendlycrow** : she wanted to call you guys 'keidashi'

 **friendlycrow** : its sinful, i know

 **yamagucci** : well it could be worse

 **yamagucci** : tsukki what do you think

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm sorry but just

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi, the list

 **yamagucci** : what

 **yamagucci** : wait

 **yamagucci** : oh fuck

 **yamagucci** : nono tsukki i know whihc ONE OYU ARE GOING TO US E PLEASE I FOROGT

 **friendlycrow** : WHAT IS HAPPENIGN

 **yamagucci** : THE LSIT

 **friendlycrow** : LIST ??

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Basically, Yamaguchi and I have been friends since elementary. We've known each other awhile okay

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We know a ton of embarrassing shit about each other

 **friendlycrow** : omg

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : AND WE MADE A LIST

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : OF THINGS WE CAN N E V E R REVEL

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : AND THE STORY HE JUST TOLD WAS ONE OF THEM

 **yamagucci** : YOU JUST ADDED THAT LIKE AMONTH AGO PLEASE THAT IS MY ICEBREAKER STORY

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : wait WHAT

 **yamagucci** : PLEAES DON'T TELL IK WHICH ONE YOU'RE GONAN USE TSUKKI

 **friendlycrow** : I WANNA HEAR THE STORY

 **yamagucci** : YACHI

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : WE WERE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

 **yamagucci** : TSUKKI

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : AND YAMAGUCHI LEFT TO USE THE BATHROOM

 **yamagucci** : tsukki if you tell this story i will either die or have to move to france and id ont speak french tsukki please

 **yamagucci** : i cant go to america or every one will ask me if im jackie chan TSUKKI

 **friendlycrow** : yamaguchi jackie chan is chinese

 **friendlycrow** : were japanese??

 **yamagucci** : i see

 **yamagucci** : i'll reiterate, i cant go to america or every one will ask me if im jackie chan

 **friendlycrow** : savage

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : ANYWAYS

 **yamagucci** : T SUKKI

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : He'd been gone for like ten minutes and sensei thought he was trying to just get out of the lesson, so I got sent after to go find him

 **yamagucci** : YACHI PLEAS EDONT EVER TELL ANYONE

 **friendlycrow** : HOW BAD IS IT

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : On a scale from 1-10 I'd say a seven but Yamaguchi would say a nineteen

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : CONTINUING so I get to the bathroom and

 **yamagucci** : it was nice knowing you yachi

 **friendlycrow** : WHAT EVEN AHPPENED SHJSSJSJHSH

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I found him masturbating in the stalls

 **yamagucci** : good bye friends for i am dead

 **friendlycrow** : YAMAGUCHI OHYMGDO

 **friendlycrow** : i cannot BELIEVE

 **friendlycrow** : honestly of the two of you id see tsukishima being the one to do that

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : What the fuck

 **friendlycrow** : you give off a vibe

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Whatta mean VIBE

 **friendlycrow** : like idk you pop a boner in class and instead of just letting it do it's thing you wack it in the boys rest room

 **yamagucci** : yachi is straight savage online

 **friendlycrow** : only straight i am tbh

 **yamagucci** : wat

 **friendlycrow** : im like really gay

 **yamagucci** : now i feel even weirder for that like two week crush on you i had

 **friendlycrow** : you werent very good at hiding it

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : yachi is a very different person online

 **friendlycrow** : so ive been told

 **friendlycrow** : where did kageyama and hinata go? i cant believe they missed this meme fuckery

 **yamagucci** : did yachi just curse?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I do believe, she did

 **yamagucci** : that's one of the signs of the apocalypse, isn't it?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Oh yes, it is, last one in fact, looks like we're all gonna die tomorrow

 **yamagucci** : shame it won't happen sooner

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Really bothersome, actually

 **friendlycrow** : you guys arent funny

 **friendlycrow** : seriously where did they go?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Dunno, they're probably making out or something

 **friendlycrow** : but kageyama and hinata aren't dating?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Ah I see

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : So, they're probably making out or something

 **yamagucci** : aha i see, you're saying that they're gay

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : aha yes I am

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : They're very gay for each other, if we're being honest here

 **yamagucci** : tsukki you're one of the gayest people i've ever met

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Gayer than Yachi?

 **friendlycrow** : ive been in at least two het relationships

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Why would you ever put yourself through that?

 **friendlycrow** : no idea, worst decision of my life, 0/10 do not recommend

 **LittleGiant** : hello were back

 **settersoul** : idk what were talking about but all i can tell is that heterosexuality isnt welcome here

 **friendlycrow** : its plenty welcome it's just not for me

 **settersoul** : oh looks like yamaguchi is in the clear

 **yamagucci** : i'm bisexual what

 **settersoul** : what

 **yamagucci** : girls are cute i can vouch but boys are pretty as fuck

 **yamagucci** : honestly i struggle day to day

 **settersoul** : id say same except girls are a no go for me

 **settersoul** : and up to a point guys arent either???

 **yamagucci** : oh are you demi?

 **settersoul** : i mean i guess, i never really get into thinknig about people ''''that way'''' until ive form some type of connection with them so

 **settersoul** : demisexual homo-romantic ???

 **yamagucci** : you're oddly calm about coming out

 **settersoul** : i know its weird since this is the first time im telling people besides hinata?? so??

 **settersoul** : but lets not make a big deal about it ahA

 **LittleGiant** : hi im back i was reading themessages we missed

 **yamagucci** : oh no

 **LittleGiant** : first of all

 **LittleGiant** : TOBio im so happy yo ucame out youre amazing im gonna buy you a gallon of milk

 **settersoul** : please

 **LittleGiant** : second

 **LittleGiant** : yamaguchi used to wank in school bathrooms IM

 **settersoul** : WAHT

 **yamagucci** : IT WAS ONE TIME OKAY

 **yamagucci** : oh tsukki went to bed js

_yamagucci has sent an image_

**yamagucci** : he's drooling on mee

 **friendlycrow** : tsukkiyamaaaaa

 **friendlycrow** : sorry i fell asleep too, woke up, saw that, and just had to

 **settersoul** : if shouyou is my trigger word, then is tsukkiyama is yachi's

 **friendlycrow** : yes

 **friendlycrow** : going back to bed see you guys at saturday practice !!

 **friendlycrow** : yamaguchi dont masturbate in the stalls ok

 **yamagucci** : i could push tsukki off  o f me right now

 **yamagucci** : and push my fuckign desk on top og himm

 **yamagucci** : i could make it look liekan accidetn that moteht fucker

 **yamagucci** : CRYNiG OVER ACCIDENTLY HURTING UR FRIEND ISN T AS BAD AS BEING CAUGHT WIT HUR DICK IN UR HAND BY UR BEST FRIEND OKAY IT JUST SINT FUCK U KEI

 **settersoul** : honestly sometimes yamaguchi scares me

 **LittleGiant** : you look genuinely scared rn omg

 **LittleGiant** : where theheck did he go

 **yamagucci** : i pushed tsukki to the ground and stole his hoodie

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi, please I'm cold

 **settersoul** : wait why are we gay for having a sleepover when you two are too?

 **yamagucci** : idk cos kagehina

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I got my hoodie back

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW GAY BOY

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I HAVE LIKE TEN CM ON YOUJNHTRY

 **settersoul** : are they ok

 **LittleGiant** : no idea

 **Tsuskishimasaurus** : IM BENIG CHASESD

 **yamagucci** : i locked hi m in the closet

 **yamagucci** : HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LIKE M E NOW GAY BOY

 **LittleGiant** : honestly and they call us dysfunctional

 **LittleGiant** : this is too much im going to bed

 **settersoul** : right behind you what the fuck

 **yamagucci** : i'll tell you guys at practice if i murdered tsukki

 **settersoul** : ya well ifyou end up just murdering his asshole when you guys fuck leave out the detaisl

 **yamagucci** : okay

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I am suffering, that's what I am

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I am tsuffering

 

 **LittleGiant** has renamed the chat **Tsukishima** **Is Tsuffering**

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Thanks


	2. whipped them out and measured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Tsukishimasaurus** : He's a lot smaller than me
> 
>  **Tsukishimasaurus** : Also, Yamaguchi is shorter
> 
>  **settersoul** : was that a dick joke
> 
>  **Tsukishimasaurus** : Indeed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dick jokes, ship discussions, and SHIMIZU!!

**Tsukishimasaurus** : I was ATTACKED in my sleep TWO FUCKING TIMES

 **yamagucci** : i don't have any idea what he's talking about, go back to bed tsukki

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You mother fucker

 **friendlycrow** : what the heck

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : HE GOT HIS REVENGE OKAY

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : He locked me in the fucking closet. Yamaguchi, I didn't want to go back there, what the fuck

 **settersoul** : its four am

 **settersoul** : youre going to wake up shouyou

 **friendlycrow** : jsut turn off notifications

 **settersoul** : no

 **settersoul** : hes awake and grumpy

 **LittleGiant** : ill murder each and every one of you

 **yamagucci** : fuck hinata what thefcuk

 **settersoul** : he doesnt like being woken up

 **settersoul** : wait what did yamaguchi do to tsukishima?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'M GLAD YOU ASKED

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : HE LEFT ME IN THE CLOSET

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I accepted my death okay, I was prepared from his mom to find me the next morning, crying over the cold, lifeless body of the son she wished she had

 **settersoul** : that went dark

 **yamagucci** : i'm her son the fuck you mean

 **Tsukshimasaurus** : But she wished it were me

 **yamagucci** : square the fuck up tsukki

 **friendlycrow** : yamaguchi please

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I fell asleep in the closet

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I was awkwardly shoved under the linens and my knees were, like, stabbing me in the face

 **settersoul** : stabbing?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I have really pointy knees

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Like ten minutes ago, Yamaguchi woke up

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : And he went to the closet

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : AN D POURED WATER ON ME

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I screamed and woke up his parents, they're upset with the both of us

 **LittleGiant** : hearing that made me feel better, okay im officially awake now

 **settersoul** : you want to go make some tea? i can get it for you

 **LittleGiant** : no i'll go with you :)

 **friendlycrow** : on one end, we have kagehina, who make each other tea when they wake up and have :) and stuff

 **friendlycrow** : on the other end, we have tsukkiyama, who pour water on each other while the other sleeps, stuffed in a linen closet

 **yamagucci** : i mean...

 **yamagucci** : yeah basically

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Why the fuck do people think I'm so mean to Yamaguchi, you guys see THESE PHYSICAL ATTACKS ON MY PERSON

 **yamagucci** : sry ily tsukki

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Fuck outta here with that SHIT

 

_yamagucci has sent an image_

 

 **friendlycrow** : what hte heck is tsukishima wearing omg

 **yamagucci** : his clothes were wet and all he brought with him were what he's wearing to practice

 **friendlycrow** : are those YOUR clothes ohmygod

 **yamagucci** : yes

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : He's a lot smaller than me

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Also, Yamaguchi is shorter

 **settersoul** : was that a dick joke

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Indeed

 **LittleGiant** : how would you even know that, tsukishima?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi and I have know each other a very long time

 **yamagucci** ; tsukki stop typing

 **yamagucci** : he has no control when he's tired

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We went to camp one time

 **yamagucci** : tsukki

 **yamagucci** : i'm checking the list

 **friendlycrow** : wait you have an ACTUAL list?

 **yamagucci** : yesh

 **yamagucci** : what the fuck why is this not on here

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Probably because it's embarrassing for the both of us, but I'm 1.) Too tired to care and 2.) I still have a bigger dick that you

 **settersoul** : im learning much more about my teammates than i ever hoped for

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : The guys in our bunks got into an argument about dick size

 

 **yamagucci** has left **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** has added **yamagucci** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Mother fucker is staying for this

 **yamagucci** : why has god forsaken me

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi and I were like the youngest at the camp, but we were also like the tallest and shit

 **LittleGiant** : what have I missed

 **settersoul** : shouyou dont look

 **LittleGiant** : tobio im scared

 **Tsukishimasaurus** :And one of the guys was like "tall people usually have pretty big dicks"

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : And, at the time, I hadn't quite surpassed Yamaguchi height-wise, we were like the same height

 **friendlycrow** : so you guys just

 **friendlycrow** : whipped them out and measured

 **yamagucci** : to put it bluntly, yeah

 **yamagucci** : it's not even that much bigger smh

 **friendlycrow** : being a guy is wild wow

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Okay, fair enough, Yamaguchi is right, but

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It's still bigger

 **settersoul** : i took shouyou's phone so he wouldn't read this sin

 **yamagucci** : gotta keep the baby crow pure and wholesome

 **friendlycrow** : what about me

 **yamagucci** : yachi despite your innocent demeanor, youre not... at all 

 **friendlycrow** : fair enough

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi, these are like the smallest pants I think you own

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Did your penis get smaller

 **settersoul** : im

 **LittleGiant** : i get my phone back

 **LittleGiant** : and i am greeted with this

 **settersoul** : i put it on top of the fridge how

 **LittleGiant** : i can jump

 **settersoul** : oh yeah

 **friendlycrow** : i keep randomly forgetting hinata can jump like that outside of practice

 **friendlycrow** : like we saw each other at the supermarket the other day and i was reaching for something on the top shelf

 **friendlycrow** : and he just NYOOM'd out of no where i swear i thought my soul was leave my body and descend unto heaven 

 **yamagucci** : tsukki my penis has nothing to do with my pants size

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You sure about that

 **yamagucci** : you just have very wide hips

 **friendlycrow** : tsukishimas hips dont lie

 **yamagucci** : mhmm PREACH

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Find me new pants

 **yamagucci** : find me a fuck to give

 **friendlycrow** : ohymgod

 **LittleGiant** : yamagCUHI

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Jokes on you guys, I still got my new pants

 **yamagucci** : i think you take a little too much pride in having a s lightly bigger penis than me

 **yamagucci** : which btw might not even be relevant any more, that happened in middle school

 **settersoul** : you know what i realized

 **settersoul** : last night i made a joke about tsukishima and yamaguchi havign sex

 **settersoul** : you guys neither confirmed or denied that

 **friendlycrow** : where is my tea

 **LittleGiant** : tobio and i could bring you tea if you really want

 **friendlycrow** : too far to walk i might die

 **settersoul** : fair enough

 **settersoul** : back to my teammates sleeping together

 **yamagucci** : we didn't sleep together eat some bread and calm down

 **LittleGiant** : wait have you guys ever??

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : No

 **settersoul** : none of my ships will ever canon

 **friendlycrow** : kageyama you and i need to talk more

 **settersoul** : operation - tsukkiyama

 **yamagucci** : i'm kinda digging keidashi

 **LittleGiant** : sin

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It's been agreed, we're tsukkiyama

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Because either way -- I'm on top

 **friendlycrow** : JSHJSJSHJSJHS

 **LittleGiant** : whos the one that made this chat

 **settersoul** : yamaguchi

 **yamagucci** : me

 **LittleGiant** : i love you

 **yamagucci** : thank you

 **LittleGiant** : are you not going to say it back?

 **yamagucci** : no

 **friendlycrow** : wow

 **settersoul** : wow

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : wow

 **LittleGiant** : wow

 **yamagucci** : sorry not sorry

 **settersoul** : ill kick your ass yamaguchi

 **settersoul** : ill kick tsukishimas ass

 **settersoul** : ill kick your dogs ass

 **settersoul** : ill kick my own ass

 **LittleGiant** : ive always wanted someone to defend my honor

 **friendlycrow** : bless thischat

 **friendlycrow** : im sending screenshots to shimizu senpai

 **yamagucci** : you guys are way too into how your non-straight teammates act with one another

 **friendlycrow** : yeah but its better than fandoms because now im part of the story and can move shit along

 **friendlycrow** : shimizu senpai wants to know if she can join the chat

 **yamagucci** : yeah i don't see why not

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Sure, we can finally embarrass you in front of YOUR crush

 **friendlycrow** : ive been foudn out

 **LittleGiant** : when did anyone embarrass you in front of your crush, tsukishima?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : what

 **yamagucci** : what

 **LittleGiant** : what

 **settersoul** : what

 **friendlycrow** : what

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I was

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Referring to

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Kagehina

 **friendlycrow** : lmao okay

 **friendlycrow** : im adding shimizu senpai now okay!??!?!?!

 

 **friendlycrow** has added **shimizoom** to **Tsukishima is Tsuffering**

 

 **shimizoom** : why is tsukishima tsuffering?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Because I'm friends with Yamaguchi

 **shimizoom** : blowing holes in all my ships wow

 **friendlycrow** : its quite the injustice

 **friendlycrow** : if it makes you feel any better, both tsukkiyama and kagehina are having sleepovers

 **shimizoom** : the world is at peace once again

 **yamagucci** : just as the ship gods intended

 **yamagucci** : and if it makes you feel any better

 

_yamagucci has sent an image_

 

 **shimizoom** : that did make me feel better

 **shimizoom** : cuddling tsukkiyama is good for the soul

 

_LittleGiant has sent an image_

 

 **LittleGiant** : what about us

 **friendlycrow** : oh bless

 **settersoul** : were just making tea

 **shimizoom** : domestic

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Okay but Yamaguchi and I aren't cuddling

 **shimizoom** : his head

 **shimizoom** : is on your chest

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : The bed is really small okay

 **shimizoom** : lmao okay

 **LittleGiant** : practice starts at seven right??

 **shimizoom** : yes hinata

 **LittleGiant** : okay well i dont mean to rain on the parade, but it's almost six thirty

 **settersoul** : shouyou and i should get going its a long ride there

 **LittleGiant** : see you guys there!!

 **settersoul** : bye

 **shimizoom** : domestic

 **yamagucci** : werent you the one to come up with keidashi?

 **shimizoom** : yes, but we decided to go with tsukkiyama

 **yamagucci** : well i dunno i kinda prefer keidashi?? tsukkiyama is cool tho

 **shimizoom** : bless you

 **shimizoom** : hitoka didnt really like it i felt personally attacked

 **friendlycrow** : sorry shimizu senpai

 **shimizoom** : hitoka, i told you, you can call me kiyoko if you want...

 **friendlycrow** : oh right sorry i forgot!!

 **yamagucci** : kiyoyachi,,,,,

 **shimizoom** : nice ship name

 **shimizoom** : hitokiyoko

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Bit long, don't you think?

 **shimizoom** : true

 **friendlycrow** : I like it shimizu senpai

 **friendlycrow** : Kiyoko**

 **shimizoom** : it's okay if you're uncomfortable with calling me by my given name

 **friendlycrow** : no no its fine!

 **friendlycrow** : it's about time for practice i think we should go!

 **shimizoom** : alright, ill see you all there then?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yeah, we'll be there soon

 **yamagucci** : we're on our way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hola so i got a few comments asking for a second chapter and well I was already planning on it, here it is!! 
> 
> (I messed up when creating the fic, it's not complete dw there is more gay to come my children.)
> 
> Anywyas ya so tsukki nd yams haev seen their dicks aha there is a lot more dick gazing in their future ahaa ahah ~~they will have sex~~ aahaahahaha 
> 
> goodbye!!


	3. im like a badly drawn picture of a duck while shes like the Mona Lisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **settersoul** : milk
> 
>  **friendlycrow** : milk isnt even that good
> 
>  **settersoul** : sa y that to me again i fuckign dare yuo
> 
>  **shimizoom** : things r heating up in the lactose fandom
> 
>  **settersoul** : milk was there for me when no one else was
> 
>  **Tsukishimasaurus** : That's kind of
> 
>  **Tsukishimasaurus** : Sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight trigger warning idk uh people take prescribe medications for anxiety and depression at the end ummm

**Tsukishimasaurus** : Do you guys think Ukai and Take-sensei are sleeping together?

 **friendlycrow** : what a way to start a conversation

 **friendlycrow** : but yeah totally screwing

 **LittleGiant** : i thought up until he was introduced as our coach, take-sensei had a crush on ukai tbh

 **LittleGiant** : honestly he probably did and when he realized he could bally ball he just kinda went with it

 **settersoul** : youd have to b blind not to see it honestly

 **LittleGiant** : whyd it take you so long to realize

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Because I don't obsess over people's personal, romantic, or sexual relationships like SOME people

 **shimizoom** : why dont you @ me next time

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : @shimizoom

 **shimizoom** : wow

 **friendlycrow** : this disrespect

 **shimizoom** : i HELPED you realize our sensei and coach are sleeping together and this is how you repay me

 **shimizoom** : i wont apologize for my ships

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I wouldn't expect you to

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Look I was expecting more people to disagree with the clear sexual tension between the two, so I had irrefutable proof

 **friendlycrow** : tell us anyways

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes, well

 **shimizoom** : tsukishima came up to me at the end of practice, trying to convince me that, no, he and yamaguchi were not cuddling, i begged to differ, of course

 **settersoul** : of course

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We weren't

 **yamagucci** : we kinda of were

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Not helping

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I thought you went home to sleep what the fuck

 **yamagucci** : i went to turn on notifications nd like i saw this

 **yamagucci** : napping now gotta blast

 **friendlycrow** : have a nice nap yamaguchi

 **shimizoom** : anyways

 **shimizoom** : so tsukishima and i got into this discussion about daisuga

 **settersoul** : daichi-san and suga-san?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Mhmmm sexual tension thicker than Daichi's thighs

 **shimizoom** : PREACH

 **shimizoom** : but i guess that take-sensei assumed we couldnt hear them, because take-sensei was like "your place tonight?" and he was like stroking ukai's arm ok

 **shimizoom** : and ukai was like "the students can hear" and started blushing hecka hard like

 **LittleGiant** : if i werent sold on this ship already, id think you just did so

 **LittleGiant** : honestly i used to have a life

 **settersoul** : lmao sure

 **LittleGiant** : and now all i care about is how gay my teammates/managers/coach and sensei are

 **LittleGiant** : tobio what the fuck

 **settersoul** : you cared about volleyball

 **settersoul** : that was it

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Like you were any better? Lmao

 **settersoul** : i had

 **settersoul** : milk

 **friendlycrow** : milk isnt even that good smh

 **settersoul** : sa y that to me again i fuckign dare yuo

 **shimizoom** : things r heating up in the lactose fandom

 **settersoul** : milk was there for me when no one else was

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : That's kind of

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Sad

 **settersoul** : i eat my lunch alone but i always have a chance to escape that awkwardness by getting a milk drink

 **LittleGiant** : fuck

 **LittleGiant** : waht the fucktobio

 **LittleGiant** : tjats it im coming to your class eevryday to eat lcunh with you fuck

 **settersoul** : you really dont have to

 **LittleGiant** : no fuck you im eaitng lunch with you everysingel day

 **shimizoom** : honestly my heart can't take the kagehina

 **shimizoom** : this is too much ffor mei m

 **shimizoom** : ill be back

 

 **shimizoom** has left **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **friendlycrow** : fuck

 **LittleGiant** : bad word

 **friendlycrow** : i am honestly so f uc k i ng gay

 **friendlycrow** : shes so amazing do you even

 **friendlycrow** : shes shipping trash, shes fuckign gorgeous, shes OPEN TO RELATIONSHIPS WITH GIRLS honestly im s o gay

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Honestly there has to be something wrong with her

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Because I may be gay as fuck but Shimizu-senpai is perfect ngl

 **friendlycrow** : I KNOW its not fair

 **friendlycrow** : im like a badly drawn picture of a duck while shes like the Mona Lisa

 **friendlycrow** : but with eyebrows

 **friendlycrow** : her eyebrows are great too what the fuck

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I bet she's bad at eating pussy

 **settersoul** : i leave for five minutes .

 **friendlycrow** : TSUKISHIMA take it down a notc h WOULD YOU

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm just saying there has to be something and I bet when she realizes that she's totally in love with you, or rather, when you realizes she's totally got a thing for you, y'all be getting cozy and shit and be kissing and stuff, and then things are escalating when BAM she totally sucks at licking vag

 **friendlycrow** : ignoring 75% of what you said

 **friendlycrow** : you really thing she likes me?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yeah, like, she's subtle about it, but she's always looking at you during practices and stuff

 **friendlycrow** : you're really sweet awe awe

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Now, generally, I behave like a smartass irl, but I have my moments

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : But, if you'll excuse me, I have prior engagements so 

 **friendlycrow** : bye!!

 **settersoul** : bye

 **LittleGiant** : goodbye tsukishima!!

 **friendlycrow:** so about tsukkiyama

 **yamagucci** : did i seriously just miss my only friend r u kidding me

 **settersoul** : we're your friends what the fuck

 **yamagucci** : okay true

 **friendlycrow** : i thought you went to sleep

 **yamagucci** : yea but i have smth to do in like twenty minutes sOOO

 **LittleGiant** : what is it?

 **yamagucci** : stuff w tsukki no big deal

 **friendlycrow** : yamaguchi ive been meaning to ask you, how did you meet tsukishima?

 **yamagucci** : oh WELL thats a story

 **yamagucci** : gather 'round children i'm about to tell my pitiful tale

 **settersoul** : im listening

 **LittleGiant** : tobio no

 **yamagucci** : kay so in like middle school i grew a fuck ton, like i was growing five centimeters every week i mean

 **LittleGiant** : bastard

 **yamagucci** : there were points went tsukki worried id actually surpass him in height lmao

 **yamagucci** : but anyways before that i was reaaaaaalllllllly short and scawny nd stuff etc. etc.

 **yamagucci** : not to mention my freckles idk kinda hate them lmao

 **friendlycrow** : freckles are amazing what

 **settersoul** : you suit freckles idk

 **LittleGiant** : i like them!!

 **yamagucci** : aw thanks guys

 **yamagucci** : yes well i had baby fat, and the freckles, and i was tiny as shit so i was bullied a lot

 **yamagucci** : and one day i was at this park nd these boys from my class were beating me up

 **settersoul** : waht hte fuck

 **settersoul** : square the fuck up ill beat their muppet looking asses down

 **friendlycrow** : hsjssjhsjhjsjs

 **LittleGiant** : tobio is very protective over his friends its kind of adorable

 **yamagucci** : thank you kageyama but i saw the boys recently bc one was tryna get wiiiiiith thiiiiiiiis and then he told me his name and i was like "lmao you used to beat me up in elementary??" nd then he was tryna be like "i was a child lol" and i was like "ya but u ugly" it was the highlight of my week tbh

 **friendlycrow** : straight savage yamaguchi

 **friendlycrow** : bisexual savage yamaguchi**

 **yamagucci** : thanks

 **yamagucci** : but so tsukki was walking by and basically called the bullies (and maybe me idk) lame and stood up to them

 **yamagucci** : then a few days later i saw him and thanked him and surprisingly to me, tsukki didn't have a lot of friends and neither did I so we just kind of meshed

 **friendlycrow** : ok so im not trying to talk shit but

 **friendlycrow** : sometimes i get the vibe that tsukishima kinda

 **friendlycrow** : takes you for granted idk hhhhhhhhh he kind of treats you poorly

 **friendlycrow** : like idk it seems like he basically called you lame adn you just clung to him bc he defended you or smth idkkk

 **LittleGiant** : yeah ive kind of noticed that too

 **settersoul** : yeah like youre so quick to defend him and everything he does, but like

 **yamagucci** : omg nonononono listen

 **yamagucci** : i can't go into details but tsukki had this thing happen and it makes him idk a little wary of trusting ppl and getting close idk

 **settersoul** : weve noticed

 **yamagucci** : he's very different in private i can tell you as much

 **yamagucci** : most of his true personality is really shown to others online so like

 **yamagucci** : and the whole treating me poorly thing and me defend him

 **yamagucci** : no body gave a shit about me as a kid, like my parents didn't understand i was bullied/pulled that whole 'be a man and fight them' shit ok

 **yamagucci** : he was the first person to ever seem to care and the moment we really started calling each other friends and stuff, he would defend me just as i did him

 **yamagucci** : but then the '''''thing''''' happened and well

 **yamagucci** : but no matter what tsukki has always been there for me and he's always had faith in me

 **yamagucci** : since i'm not really bullied anymore/tsukkis always starting shit because i'm best friends with a salt master, he doesn't need to defend me and doesn't care to defend himself

 **yamagucci** : he's just, he's good for me

 **friendlycrow** : good for you?

 **yamagucci** : i am completely fucked in the terms of anxiety

 **yamagucci:** and people can be so physically and mentally draining for me sometimes

 **yamagucci:** and though usually i need to be alone to recharge, in a sense, being aroudn tsukki recharges me and keeps me calm

 **yamagucci** : not to mention, he always knows whatto do when i'm having an anxiety attack or something

 **yamagucci:** he's just very cool and level headed and gives me this kind of stability i need

 **yamagucci** : i guess

 **yamagucci** : sorry that was a lot to take in ig but like i said i gotta defend him and stuff 

 **settersoul** : why doesnt tsukishima ever want to defend himself?

 **yamagucci** : what?

 **settersoul** : you said he doesnt care to defend himself and i was wondering why

 **LittleGiant** : ^^

 **yamagucci** : it's hard to explain and i dont think i really have a place to say so

 **yamagucci** : i'm not trying to invalidate you guys or anything but like

 **yamagucci** : tsukki and i are close, okay, he's my best friend and

 **yamagucci** : no body's ever going to match to him

 **yamagucci** : he's always going to be one step ahead, if not multiple steps ahead

 **settersoul** : i can respect that

 **yamagucci** : he means a lot to me idk

 **friendycrow** : understatement of the century

 **yamagucci** : oh wait shit i have to go

 **LittleGiant:** you MAY NOT dump this tsukkiyama feels feast shit on us and then LEAVE yamaguchi

 **yamagucci** : lmao yeah but i actually have that thing to do gotta blast

 **friendlycrow** : okay when you and tsukishima come back the third years may have joined idk im trying to get kiyoko to give me their skypes

 **settersoul** : why?

 **friendlycrow** : operation - daisuga

 **LittleGiant** : an operation i can get behind

 **yamagucci** : i'll talk later guys bye

 **friendlycrow** : bye!!

 **settersoul** : bye

 **LittleGiant** : goodbye yamaguchi!!

 

\----------

 

 **yamagucci** : guess who's back

 **yamagucci** : back again

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : That meme is so dead wow

 **yamagucci** : you love it

 **yamagucci:** you know what time it is?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : 16:34?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Oh

 **yamagucci** : i'm taking mine too okay tsukki it's okay

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I really hate doing this

 **yamagucci** : we can video call and then you won't be alone? or i could come over?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Video call, please

 

_yamagucci is calling Tsukishimasaurus_

 

The camera is shaky, Kei is moving around on the other end. He's fidgeting in his chair. "Tsukki," Tadashi says. "Have you got your--"

"I have them." Kei answered, his voice and tone were sharp, but Tadashi knew there wasn't malice behind his words.

Tadashi rolled his own pills in-between his fingers. He waited patiently, watching Kei search around his desk for an all too familiar orange bottle. "You haven't been taking them." He stated.

"You haven't been reminding me."

"I didn't think I'd have to after so long." Tadashi spoke quietly, like he wanted Kei to only subtly pick up on his words, but not make any returned comments.

Whether they were a retaliation to what Tadashi had said, Kei was speaking again. His sentence clipped and uncomfortable. "I _hate_ this."

"They make you feel better."

Kei grimaced. "Artificially." Kei watched as Tadashi's glance dropped down, looking to the pills in his palm. _Artificially_ , it played on repeat in Tadashi's head. "Sorry," He said quickly, adding a rushed. "I forget, sometimes, that you take them, too, I don't even think about what I say..."

"It's okay, Tsukki." Tadashi answered. "I understand what you mean, I hate it. too, relying my mental stability on little yellow pills." _And relying it on you._

Kei fidgeted again, was rubbed his sweaty palms against the sides of his pants. "They make me feel... Funny."

"Funny?"

"Different." Kei clarified, then paused. "And sleepy."

Tadashi nodded. He understood. "They'll make you feel better." He echoed. "They make us both feel better." Said Tadashi. "Just two little pills." He said.

"Depression _fucking sucks_." Kei said, staring at the pills.

"Anxiety isn't much better." Tadashi replied.

Kei looked back to the blurry video stream of Tadashi. "Are we seriously going to play the one-up game?" He asked, laughing slightly. Not expecting any answer, he continued. "You need a better webcam, that one one is shit."

"Lend me five thousand yen and we'll talk."

Kei smiled, it was a slight, barely noticeable smile - but it was a smile. "You have water?"

"Yes. You?" Kei hummed in response to Tadashi, who started a count down. "One," He said and glanced back to Kei. "Two."

Kei lifted his water bottle and held the two pills in hand. 'Three!' He heard and placed the two pills on his tongue.

Water washed them down and he swallowed, looking back to Tadashi. "Now, I'm probably gonna pass out." He looked to his bed. "Eight hours of practice, plus these fuckers with their side effects..."

"You going to sleep?"

Kei met Tadashi's gaze again. "No... Give it a minute though..." His sentence faltered. "Akiteru is visiting for three days." 

"You aren't happy about it?"

"I knew he was coming down in a few months, but I didn't expect him... Early."

Tadashi waited a moment. "He doesn't know you take those, does he?"

"I don't think he even knows about _last year_."

Silence. Tadashi doesn't know what to say. "Kei--" He began. It took Kei by surprise, hearing his given name, it always takes him by surprise to hear his name coming out of Tadashi's mouth.

"I'm gonna sleep." He said.

Tadashi paused, then spoke. "Okay, Tsukki." He said. His tone hadn't changed, concern was still present. "Goodnight."

"It's still the afternoon."

Tadashi laughed. "I won't hear from you until tomorrow morning, anyways."

Kei smiled again, the same type of smile as before. "Okay then." He said. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did the end mess up the vibe? or do we like random written scenes like ?? i suck at writing but lmao yknow


	4. It was a JOKE OKAY A MEME OF SORTS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **captainkarasunofight** : sugas skype user is.... well
> 
>  **captainkarasunofight** : its strange
> 
>  **settersoul** : stranger than yours?
> 
>  **captainkarasunofight** : rude
> 
>  **captainkarasunofight** : just, prepare yourself
> 
>  **captainkarasunofight** has added **fuckmedaddy** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**
> 
>  **friendlycrow** : i cannot BELIEVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS TOOK ME SO LONG IM SORRY my internet kept crashing and id loose HOURS (minutes) of work and then id be like "wtf the fuck" so ya anyways ENJOY??

**Tsukishimasaurus** : I've been told to not read any messages Yamaguchi sent while I was gone

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Should I be concerned

 **friendlycrow** : he basically just defended your honor as his bestfriend

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Damn, I'm suppose to behave like a smartass so people don't know my true thoughts and feelings. Yamaguchi is ruining it for me

 **friendlycrow** : youre an extremely soft teddy bear deal with it

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : No fuck you

 **friendlycrow** : Soft

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : God dammit

 **settersoul** : tsukishima is the opposite of soft, yachi no

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : He gets it

 **friendlycrow** : okay but a consider this

 **friendlycrow** : what yamaguchi said yesterday

 **settersoul** : shit u right

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : God dammit I'm reading those messages fuck you

 

 **yamagucci** has removed **Tsukishimasaurus** from **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **LittleGiant** : wow

 **yamagucci** : he isn't ALLOWED

 **yamagucci** : lmao he's spamming me to add him back what a nerd

 **settersoul** : same

 **settersoul** : so should i orr

 **yamagucci** : no!!

 **yamagucci** : he gets very !! whenever i mention him being a decent friend to me i don't understand it

 **yamagucci** : i think tsukki likes it when people think he's a massive cunt so they don't bother him

 **settersoul** : and shouyou never got the message, it would seem

 **LittleGiant** : liste n

 **yamagucci** : look mainly the reason i told you guys about tsukki and everything was so you guys know he's actually a swell pal and he's a bit of a cunt irl sometimes, I'll admit, but he will defend the absolute fuck out of you guys if needed

 **friendlycrow** : honestly tsukishima is probably the most caring out of all of us, if you really think about it

 **yamagucci** : he cares a lot, but he's emotionally constipated

 **settersoul** : same

 **yamagucci** : anyways i'm adding him back so don't bring it up again please

 **yamagucci** : conformation would be appreciated

 **friendlycrow** : we won't mention it yamaguchi, we promise

 **LittleGiant** : yeah don't worry!!

 **settersoul** : yeah

 **yamagucci** : okay thank you guys

 

 **yamagucci** has added **Tsukishimasaurus** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Was that really necessary?

 **yamagucci** : yes

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I feel like you guys were just talking shit

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Did you violate the list?

 **yamagucci** : wait fuck idk if i did

 **yamagucci** : i'm checking

 **LittleGiant** : this list thing is so amazing we have so much blackmail

 **LittleGiant** : we could get them to commit crimes for us

 **LittleGiant** : murder

 **LittleGiant** : play two-on-two vb matches with us

 **settersoul** : you know, its a good thing no one takes shouyou seriously

 **friendlycrow** : whys that?

 **settersoul** : because hed be fucking terrifying

 **friendlycrow** : he has his terrifying moments despite that

 **yamagucci** : okay i got really close to reveling one, but i kinda danced around it

 **yamagucci** : there weren't any specifics im in the clear

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Fine

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I don't like this, but fine

 **LittleGiant** : back to operation daisuga

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Naturally

 **LittleGiant** : yachi did shimizu-senpai give you daichis and sugas skypes ??

 **friendlycrow** : well kiyoko gave me daichis but she doesn't know sugas

 **yamagucci** : add daichi and see if he knows. if they have such strong sexual tension i assume they also have each other's skypes

 **friendlycrow** : ohh true

 **friendlycrow** : im terrified to speak first to people someone else do it

 **LittleGiant** : ok ill do it!! whats his skype??

 **friendlycrow** : its really lame prepare yourselves

 **yamagucci** : omg

 **friendlycrow** : captainkarasunofight

 **settersoul** : and i thought I was obsessed

 **friendlycrow** : tbh like lmao bitch

 **friendlycrow** : he isnt even gonna be captain next year

 **friendlycrow** : hes such a nerd he and suga are perfect for each other

 **settersoul** : okay shouyou you have to get him to add you first, do that

 **LittleGiant** : okay tobio!!

 

\----------

 

 **LittleGiant** would like to add you on Skype

 

 **captainkarasunofight** has added **LittleGiant** on Skype

 

 **captainkarasunofight** : Hinata?

 **LittleGiant** : hi!!

 **captainkarasunofight** : How did you get my skype?

 **LittleGiant** : well shimizu-senpai gave it to yachi, and yachi got too nervous to grt you to add her, so she gave it to me

 **captainkarasunofight** : oh...

 **captainkarasunofight** : So,,, was there something you need

 **LittleGiant** : oh!! yeah do you want to join a group with tsukishima, yamaguchi, yachi, and tobio, and i??

 **LittleGiant** : shimizu was there but left because the kagehina was too strong or something

 **captainkarasunofight** : kagehina?

 **LittleGiant** : she and yachi like pairing tobio and i together?? i dunno but thats our ship name

 **LittleGiant** : they have one for tsukishima and yamaguchi too!! its tsukkiyama or keidashi arent those cute!!

 **captainkarasunofight** : I suppose they are

 **LittleGiant** : we wanted to add suga-san as well but we dont know his skype, do you??

 **captainkarasunofight** : Suga?

 **captainkarasunofight** : I do, have his skype, I mean, and I guess I don't mind joining your group 

 **LittleGiant** : okay!!

 

\----------

 

 **friendlycrow** : personally i think its cute that you and hinata use each others given names

 **settersoul** : like you and shimizu-senpai?

 **friendlycrow** : oh well no thats different

 **settersoul** : yeah cos yall be fucking

 **settersoul** : boom

 **friendlycrow** : stop

 **yamagucci** : stop

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You and Hinata are fucking too get OUT of my face

 **LittleGiant** : guys!! daichi said hell join and that hell add suga too!!

 **LittleGiant** : what abbout me and tobio?

 **friendlycrow** : bad timing hinata ohgod

 **LittleGiant** : right okay anyways

 **LittleGiant** : adding in our CAPTAIN as in our SENPAI behave yourselves

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Acknowledged

 **yamagucci** : the whole reason we're adding him and suga-san is to get them to date?? we're already misbehaving if you really think about it

 **LittleGiant** : yes well

 

 **LittleGiant** has added **captainkarasunofight** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **captainkarasunofight** : You misspelled suffering

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It's a play on words

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : 'Cause, y'know, my name is Tsukishima and like

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm constantly suffering

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Tsuffering

 **captainkarasunofight** : oh, I understood fine, I just worried Hinata or Kageyama would have trouble

 **settersoul** : wow

 **LittleGiant** : mean

 **yamagucci** : that was great

 **friendlycrow** : savage

 **captainkarasunofight** : who's 'friendlycrow'

 **friendlycrow** : im yachi

 **captainkarasunofight** : oh

 **captainkarasunofight** : very cute name :)

 **friendlycrow** : :)

 **friendlycrow** : oh!! daichi-san, youll be adding suga-san now??

 **captainkarasunofight** : you all know that you don't have to use 'san' right? atleast online, if you prefer to use it, like in real life, it's fine but yknow

 **yamagucci** : new information to me daichi

 **captainkarasunofight** : yamaguchi, I like your name as well :)

 **yamagucci** : aw shit thanks dude

 **captainkarasunofight** : are all formalities abandoned online?

 **LittleGiant** : you dont even knoooooow

 **LittleGiant** : like, day one of this chat even existing youll never believe what we foudn out abotu yamaguchi and tsukishima, and then the next day ohymgdo

 **settersoul** : shits wild

 **yamagucci** : and we ARENT GOING TO DISCUSS

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Technically, since they're already out in the open, they aren't exactly secrets anymore

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I could discuss

 **yamagucci** : kei honestly fuck you it wasn't a FAIR TRADE

 **yamagucci** : YOURS WAS LIKE A TWO ON THE EMBARRASSMENT METER MINE WAS LIKE A NINETEEN OKA y

 **captainkarasunofight** : um

 **friendlycrow** : youre making our captain uncomfortable

 **friendlycrow** : maybe you should add suga now??

 **captainkarasunofight** : okay but fair warning

 **captainkarasunofight** : sugas skype user is.... well

 **captainkarasunofight** : its strange

 **settersoul** : stranger than yours?

 **captainkarasunofight** : rude

 **captainkarasunofight** : just, prepare yourself

 

 **captainkarasunofight** has added **fuckmedaddy** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **friendlycrow** : i cannot BELIEVE

 **LittleGiant** : SUGA ohymgdo

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm at a complete loss for words

 **fuckmedaddy** : i can explain

 **settersoul** : tjis is just

 **settersoul** : surprising

 **yamagucci** : call your father and APOLOGIZE

 **fuckmedaddy** : I CAN EXPLAIN

 **fuckmedaddy** : but firstly

 **fuckmedaddy** : WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE

 **friendlycrow** : yachi

 **yamagucci** : yamaguchi

 **LittleGiant** : hinata shouyou!!

 **settersoul** : kageyama

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Tsukishima

 **fuckmedaddy** : DAICHI WHY WOULD YOU ADD ME TO A CHAT WITH OUR FIRST YEARS ON THIS ACCOUNT

 **fuckmedaddy** : I HAVE THE OTHER ONE THAT I ACTUALLY GIVE TO PEOPLE

 **captainkarasunofight** : but you gave me this one?

 **fuckmedaddy** : YOU HAVE BOTH

 **settersoul** : why does he have both ',:-) oho

 **LittleGiant** : tobio no

 **fuckmedaddy** : he found out i had two and made me GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER

 **yamagucci** : noah fence but youre like the last person that should be telling us to get our minds out of the gutter

 **fuckmedaddy** : It was a JOKE OKAY A MEME OF SORTS

 **captainkarasunofight** : 'a meme of sorts'

 **fuckmedaddy** : i was hanging out with noya and tanaka and we were getting shit faced

 **fuckmedaddy** : oh shit i shouldnt be talking abotu this with younglings about

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Honestly we don't really care, go on

 **fuckmedaddy** : okay yes well

 **fuckmedaddy** : i mentioned this thing i used to do and they made the joke and i made a skype

 **settersoul** : what was the thing you used to do?

 **fuckmedaddy** : where is the highest point i can THROW MYSELF OFF OF

 **fuckmedaddy** : I used t o like

 **fuckmedaddy** : go on omegle

 **fuckmedaddy** : and trick fuckboys into wiring me money and tell them id send them nudes but i never did yknow

 **captainkarasunofight** : wwait

 **captainkarasunofight** : nvm

 **friendlycrow** : bet daichi was one of the fuckboys

 **fuckmedaddy** : im changing my user jfc

 

 **fuckmedaddy** is now **sugacookie**

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Suga Cockie

 **friendlycrow** : IM

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We were all thinking it

 **sugacookie** : so anyways daichi mentioned yamaguchi is extremely embarrassed by something you guys discussed the first day the chat existed

 **yamagucci** : please no

 **sugacookie** : its only FAIR

 **LittleGiant** : oh i didnt know you could change your user

 **sugacookie** : yeah you can do it to others like for instance

 

 **captainkarasunofight** is now **thickthighichi**

**thickthighchi** : thanks

 **sugacookie** : but onto what has ruined yamaguchis life or something

 **yamagucci** : i need not die every other day guys

 **yamagucci** : so lets not

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : But lets

 **yamagucci** : honestly idgaf anymore do it

 **yamagucci** : the world is against me what else u assholes got

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I found Yamaguchi masturbating in the stalls in middle school once

 **sugacookie** : lmao same

 **thickthighchi** : thats it?

 **thickthighchi** : first years are weak

 **yamagucci** : i'm oddly offended

 **thickthighchi** : try telling us the thing about the both of you

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Oh that isn't even that bad tbh

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I have a bigger penis than Yamaguchi, basically

 **sugacookie** : huh

 **thickthighchi** : it really isnt that bad

 **thickthighchi** : i mean, bragging about it and telling your senpais might make you a bad boyfriend but other than that

 **yamagucci** : boyfriend?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Boyfriend?

 **friendlycrow** : oh SHIT

 **thickthighchi** : wait are

 **thickthighchi** : are tsukishima and yamaguchi not dating ?

 **sugacookie** : i just lost like 500 yen wow

 **sugacookie** : wait why do you know each others penis sizes then

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We were at camp, people were discussing penis sizes, they wanted to know if that whole 'big feet big dick' thing was true

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We were honest to God peer pressured

 **sugacookie** : well then

 **sugacookie** : can you blame me for betting on tsukkiyama tho?

 **yamagucci** : you ACTUALLY thought

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi, we used to get this in middle school all the time. Are you really that surprised?

 **yamagucci** : tbh not rea l ly

 **yamagucci** : more surprised suga was betting on it

 **sugacookie** : asahi is to become a rich man

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It's 500 yen

 **sugacookie** : i reiterate, asahi is to become a rich man

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Y'all poor as fuck

 **settersoul** : oh cause tsukishima is just rolling in it

 **yamagucci** : on the dl he is tho

 **yamagucci** : tsukki designs websites nd stuff for people

 **yamagucci** : pays well

 **yamagucci** : my father will offer you three camels to take me as your bride

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I thought we decided on four camels and two cows

 **yamagucci** : god dammit okay

 **thickthighchi** : this is probably why we thought you were dating

 **LittleGiant** : we dont blame you, i had my suspicions too

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : suga you say you can change others users as well as your own?

 **sugacookie** : ya just click their name and do ur thing

 

 **LittleGiant** is now **OrangeFucker**

 

 **OrangeFucker** : wow

 **settersoul** : wow

 

 **settersoul** is now **BlueberryFucker**

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Matching couples users

 **BlueberryFucker** : shouyou and I are not dating

 **BlueberryFucker** : just to clarify for our senpais

 **sugacookie** : thanks

 **friendlycrow** : but tsukishima, you and yamaguchi do act like a couple

 

 **friendlycrow** is now **TsukkiyamaFucker**

 

 **TsukkiyamaFucker** : this is an ugly user im changing it

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm hurt

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You've wounded me

 

 **TsukkiyamaFucker** is now **shippingtrash**

 

 **shippingtrash** : see much better

 **yamagucci** : how do tsukki and i act like a couple

 **yamagucci** : oh fuck my wifi is slower than hinata

 **yamagucci** : nice one yamaguchi

 **yamagucci** : guys mymesages arnet SENDING

 **yamagucci** : day eighty six; i havent heard from another person in six months, rations are low, i miss the touch of tsukki

 **yamagucci** : sorry that went gay tsukki and i arent dating aw shti

 **yamagucci** : okay my messages are sending

 **yamagucci** : okay hello im back

 **OrangeFucker** : i take offense

 **sugacookie** : play nice

 **yamagucci** : i panicked bc i didnt want ot insult our senpais, yachi is in advanced classes so calling her slow is just dumb, tsukki would WHOOp my ass if i called him that, and kageyama would probably fight me

 **BlueberryFucker** : ill fight you now anyways

 **yamagucci** : right i forgot about kagehina

 **yamagucci** : s hit wait you live close to me dont hurt me

 **BlueberryFucker** : youre lucky i just got some milk punk

 **thickthighchi** : milk saved your life yamaguchi

 **OrangeFucker** : how do you feel

 **yamagucci** : i owe my life to lactose

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You guys aren't funny

 **shippingtrash** : uh

 **shippingtrash** : yamaguchi do you still want to know why you and tsukishima act gay as heck

 **yamagucci** : yes

 **shippingtrash** : well you two are like the asshole couple that have been together forever and call each other names and shit but also love each other unconditionally and so much that it hurts and nobody ever worries when you get into arguments bc theyll blow over in five minutes nd they know you two love each other too much to stay mad

 **shippingtrash** : kagehina is the new fluffy 'im so in love holy shit' couple and never stop talking to each other/about each other and want to spend all their time together and its tooth rotting fluff but you LOVE watching them just being cute andeven when they act like awkward friends (or rivals in this case) they still are flirting and being soft as heck all the time

 **shippingtrash** : and daisuga is the couple that hasnt even been dating long but they are definitely in love and will probably be together forever and will get married and no one would even question it. basically mom and dad of the group, old married couple from the beginning but in a good way and still love each other immensely and you WISH you had it that good

 **thickthighchi** : daisuga

 **thickthighchi** : we have a ship name cute

 **sugacookie** : but tbh daichi and i will probably get married yeah

 **thickthighchi** : yachi you were really spot on, you could make this a profession

 **thickthighchi** : i mean, suga and I hvae been together only since last year, too, you really got the details

 **shippingtrash** : wait you two are together? as in dating-together?

 **sugacookie** : ya?

 **shippingtrash** : one moment please

 

 **shippingtrash** has added **shimizoom** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **shippingtrash** : KIYOKO

 **shippingtrash** : DAISUGA HAS BEEN CANON SINCE LAST YEAR EXCUSE ME

 **shimizoom** : OHMYGOD

 **shimizoom** : why wasnti INFORMED

 **shimizoom** : i stg if asanoya or kuroken are real too im going to die

 **OrangeFucker** : i think kenma and kuroo are dating

 **shimizoom** : hinata i need positive yes or no answers, im not dying on a hunch

 **shippingtrash** : wait does this mean that time I thought i saw suga grab daichis butt...

 **sugacookie** : PROBABLY

 **sugacookie** : hes got a great butt

 **thickthighchi** : thanks babe

 **thickthighchi** : he just grabbed my butt

 **shimizoom** : BABE wow now you use pet names honestly, 'not keeping it from us' my ASS

 **thickthighchi** : its not like we're exactly secretive, are we

 **sugacookie** : not really, like we dont makeout on the court but

 **BlueberryFucker** : this really is something

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Like you knew

 **BlueberryFucker** : I did

 **OrangeFucker** : WHAT

 **BlueberryFucker** : ive accidently walked in on them,,,,in the clubroom mulitiple times

 **sugacookie** : you HAVE?

 **BlueberryFucker** : well, id like, forget something, and then id go back to get it

 **BlueberryFucker** : and then there you two are, going at it

 **BlueberryFucker** : i always assumed you knew but you just didnt care

 **thickthighchi** : wow

 **BlueberryFucker** : yea

 **BlueberryFucker** : never would have guess daichi bottoms

 **OrangeFucker** : OHMY

 **thickthighchi** : i

 **thickthighchi** : i am allowed to like what i like

 **thickthighchi** : dont shame me

 **BlueberryFucker** : mhmmm

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : This is such an eventful day

 **yamagucci** : can we tell them why we added them originally

 **sugacookie** : was it not because you wanted to bond with us?

 **OrangeFucker** : we wanted to make daisuga canon but it already is so

 **OrangeFucker** : BUT WE CAN STILL BOND

 **sugacookie** : too late, you ruined it, your father and i are crying

 **thickthighchi** : babe, thats cold

 **sugacookie** : he knows what he did

 **OrangeFucker** : :(

 **BlueberryFucker** : you didnt ruin it shouyou

 **OrangeFucker** : :)

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : That's gay

 **BlueberryFucker** : youre gay

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : shit u right

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : And you're demi gay

 **yamagucci** : tsukki don't out people

 **BlueberryFucker** : for me personally i dont care but ya dont do that

Tsukishimasaurus: Sorry

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : You shamelessly check out Hinata's ass at practice I assumed you were out

 **BlueberryFucker** : i am and i dont look at shouyous butt WHAT

 **OrangeFucker** : ive caught you . multiple times

 **BlueberryFucker** : listen

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Would you guys just fuck already, this is so stressful to watch

 **yamagucci** : play nice tsukki

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Shut up, Yamaguchi

 **yamagucci** : you wanna go back in the fucking closet

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I spent thirteen years there please no

 **BlueberryFucker** : lmao weak i only spent eleven

 **sugacookie** : you came out when you were eleven?

 **BlueberryFucker** : ya my parents are cool about it tho they idrc what i like

 **sugacookie** : good kageyama parents

 **sugacookie** : our families assumed daichi and i have been dating since first year and just kinda went with accidently finding us making out lmao

 **OrangeFucker** : lmao wish i could say the same

 **shippingtrash** : same :') i dont think my mom understands what lesbians are haha rip me

 **OrangeFucker** : my parents never bring up The Gays so like idk if they care about me like dick or not

 **sugacookie** : watch ur fucking mouth hinata

 **OrangeFucker** : penis

 **thickthighchi** : you just made your mother faint

 **yamagucci** : sugamama

 **yamagucci** : dadchi

 **thickthighchi** : mhmmmm

 **BlueberryFucker** : honestly idk why people think shouyou is so innocent?? he curses worse than i do idk why he doesnt during matches and stuff, but shit, play him in mariocart i DARE YOU

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Oho where else does he have a potty mouth Tobio hmhm

 **BlueberryFucker** : dont call me tobio

 **OrangeFucker** : dont call him tobio

 **yamagucci** : why the fuc k did u call him tobio before yoive ever called me tadashi waht the fuck

 **yamagucci** : kei u fucker

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I've called you Tadashi before

 **sugacookie** : oho when

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : When I roast him

 **shippingtrash** : ^^ can confirm

 **shimizoom** : but also

 **shippingtrash** : kiyoko he WILL kick you out if you say it

 **shimizoom** : im saying it

 **shippingtrash** : hoe don't do it

 **shimizoom** : when yall FUCK

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** has removed **shimizoom** from **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **shippingtrash** : oh my god

 **shippingtrash** : oh someone pm'd me

 **sugacookie** : was it shimizu?

 **shippingtrash** : aha no it seems serious i gtg

 **thickthighchi** : i see

 **yamagucci** : well while shes doing that

 **yamagucci** : let me explain my finland theory

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Oh shit, buckle up for your fucking seats, he will actually be taking you on a ride

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : This made me question my entire life for three weeks, I'm not even joking

 **sugacookie** : LAY IT ON ME

 **shippingtrash** : ....right

 

\--------

 

 **BlueberryFucker** : yachi i have an issue, please be discrete and help me

 **shippingtrash** : oh no what is it

 **BlueberryFucker** ; i think i have a crush on shouyou

 **shippingtrash** : dude i coulda told you that

 **BlueberryFucker** : okay but ive like never liked anyone that ive stood any chance with and im panic

 **shippingtrash** : oooh yeah youre demi you havent really had crushes before?

 **BlueberryFucker** : ive literally only had one, it was on my senpai in middle school, not anymore lmao but

 **shippingtrash** : WAS IT OIKAWA

 **BlueberryFucker** : no thats just sinful shame on you wtf

 **BlueberryFucker** : it was on iwaizumi-san tbh he was always nice to me and because oikawa was such a dick to me, iwaizumi-san would spend a lot of time with me, trying to convince me that i wasnt really hated persay, helpign me w vb, tutoring etc etc and he became my friend ig then one night it hit me how hot he is and well

 **BlueberryFucker** : that might be part of the reason why oikawa hated me so much

 **shippingtrash** : we are straying from the subject of your crush on hinata

 **shippingtrash** : i have no real experience with demisexuality so im a little shit at helping u so just

 **BlueberryFucker** : ok well demisexuality is basically you dont really experience sexual/romantic attraction until youve formed some type of emotinal connection with a person

 **BlueberryFucker** : meanwhile, im homo-romantic so my feelings are only with the x y chromozoned ones

 **shippingtrash** : im surprised you knew the chromozone thing

 **BlueberryFucker** : tbh i am too

 **BlueberryFucker** : but so like ??? uh this goes graphic idk

 **shippingtrash** : ;;))

 **BlueberryFucker** : no

 **BlueberryFucker** : so basically i had a dream about him a few weeks ago and it was just us at my house, in my backyard. i guess we just finished playing some volleyball or something but he was laying on the grass and we were looking at the sunset

 **shippingtrash** : gay

 **BlueberryFucker** : its cheesy leave me alone

 **BlueberryFucker** : but idk in the dream i just leaned over and kissed him?? and it was like... nice??

 **BlueberryFucker** : and i kept having similar dreams of me and shouyou kissing. like we win some big match and i kiss him, or were walking home together and he just pulls me down my shirt and kisses me and they kept happening and they started to get

 **BlueberryFucker** ; graphic

 **BlueberryFucker** : like instead of my backyard or the gym, were in my room or shouyous room and were kissing and.... yknow

 **shippingtrash** : as for the romantic side of this attraction?

 **BlueberryFucker** : well, one example, was like fifteen minutes ago

 **BlueberryFucker** : we were getting popsicles since it was gross and hot out and as we walked back he was like "my hands are all sticky nd shit" and i was like "oh here let me see" and we have always been pretty Chill with touching and stuff but the minute i touched his stupid, sweaty, sticky hand i couldnt breath

 **shippingtrash** : omg awe

 **BlueberryFucker** : and we were just standing there, in the middle of the street, basically holding hands

 **BlueberryFucker** : and we basically kept holding them the whole walk back to my house and then he went home and jsut

 **BlueberryFucker** : i cant stop thinking about it

 **shippingtrash** : AWE E

 **BlueberryFucker** : what do i DO

 **shippingtrash** : shit i dunno im in love with kiyoko and she and i are awkward flirting pretty much everyday now, but so do you and hinata so youre well on your way

 **BlueberryFucker** : we dont flirt

 **shippingtrash** : kageyama.

 **BlueberryFucker** : i didnt realize we flirt until you pointed it out the other day okay leave me alone

 **shippingtrash** : well anyways, im Fairly Fricking Sure he likes you too, but if youre nervous i can do spying or smth

 **BlueberryFucker** : its not as if im nervous i just

 **BlueberryFucker** : were basically dating already right? and like im scared that ill fuck up and kiss him and hell freak out or something and i dont know

 **shippingtrash** : thats being nervous my friend

 **BlueberryFucker** : i dont get nervous

 **shippingtrash** : youre nervous hell find out, or youll tell him, about your feelings and he wont return them and not be your friend anymore

 **shippingtrash** : which btw the chance that would happen is so small lmao

 **shippingtrash** : smaller than noya ok

 **BlueberryFucker** : really?

 **shippingtrash** : yes

 **BlueberryFucker** : is it too late to take you up on your offer to spy and stuff to find out if he likes me too ?

 **shippingtrash** : i will GLADLY

 **BlueberryFucker** : dont tell anyone please

 **shippingtrash** : you got it friend

 **shippingtrash** : but now i gotta question for you, out of pure curiosity and you dont have to answer or anything

 **BlueberryFucker** : okay shoot

 **shippingtrash** : how did you know you were demi?

 **BlueberryFucker** : well i realized the minute i found out being demi was thats what i was

 **BlueberryFucker** : basically, my cousin is way older than me and she was in college whe ni was like nine and she was taking courses on different sexualities nd stuff and i was helping her review because she promises me cookies if i did and i asked about what they meant and stuff and whe nwe got to demisexual she was explaining it and i just kinda went "oh i think that im that"

 **BlueberryFucker** : and she was liek "what?"

 **BlueberryFucker** : and i told her i never really got crushes on girls or guys, really, so then she was liek "maybe youre ace idk" but idk the term demi appealed more to me which i know is stupid but i kinda stuck with the term

 **BlueberryFucker** : then i got to middle school and despite me having a few really close female friends, i never really got feelings for them, but then i got some big ol gay crush on iwaizumi-san and told my cousin and she was really supportive and stuff and helped me explain to my family who understood and everythign and were really supportive of me during this FIASCO in like my second year of middle school

 **shippingtrash** : ooo fiasco do tell

 **BlueberryFucker** : well im Fairly Fricking Sure he doesnt anymore, but there was this guy on my team, kindaichi, that had a thing for me i guess

 **shippingtrash** : TURNIP HEAD

 **BlueberryFucker** : the very same

 **shippingtrash** :hinata has shown me pictures i love his hair

 **BlueberryFucker** : this was pre-dick kageyama so i was still a nice little blueberry

 **shippingtrash** : youve really taken to the blueberry title, havent you

 **BlueberryFucker** : wouldnt you?

 **shippingtrash** : tru

 **BlueberryFucker** : but so iwaizumi had graduated and i was still recovering from the whole "i have a crush?" thing and then he was poof gone and i was quite shooken to my very soul

 **BlueberryFucker** : i guess id been a lot quieter than usual at the time, because kindaichi was being nice nd stuff and complimenting my skills and being a little touchy with me idk and helping me with serves and stuff after practice

 **BlueberryFucker** : i thought he was just being friendly to me

 **BlueberryFucker** : and it was nice, having a friend, despite being a Blueberry, i still didnt have many since i spent all my time with volleyball and a lot of people thought that was lame so

 **shippingtrash** : omg you poor thing i want to protect the young blueberry

 **BlueberryFucker** : shouyou has said the same thing mulitple times

 **shippingtrash** : he likeeeees u

 **BlueberryFucker** : AH

 **BlueberryFucker** : that was me screaming because FUCK

 **shippingtrash** : back to the fiasco

 **BlueberryFucker** : yes well

 **BlueberryFucker** : one day, kindaichi stayed after with me to get some extra practice and when we were finally cleaning up, he completely out of the blue, grabbed my arm and pulled me against him and kissed me

 **shippingtrash** : ohmy god kageyama im so sorry

 **BlueberryFucker** : i guess from his perspective, i was just some Gay Boi (i wasnt good at hiding my crush on iwaizumi-san) and since we were spending so much time together, he must of figured i liked him back

 **BlueberryFucker** : its okay

 **BlueberryFucker** : but i FREAKED out yknow like i didnt know what to do like there wa s this person kissing me and i didnt want to be kissing him and it was like rubbery and sloppy and it made me feel sick (noah fence @ kindaichi) but i just kinda flipped and pushed him off me and shouted, like all upset and angry "why would you do that?" and i started to cry just a little and then i got so upset because i thought he was my friend and only wanted to be my friend and i didnt have many and stuff like kindaichi became my friend, and kunimi (tired looking guy, bangs)

 **shippingtrash** : ive heard of him yes

 **BlueberryFucker** : well kunimi was my friend too and yknwo i was just so happy to have FRIENDSSand i just got mad that he was gonig to take this away from me adn so i startde crying harder and just, we were standing there in the empty gym wit hme crying really badly and kindachi was standing there so confused and he looked upset too and evetnually i jsut turned, ran and i went home and told my mmom that 'i think i just lost one of my only friends because he kissed me and i really wished he hadnt'

 **shippingtrash** : you dont have to continue if you dont want to

 **BlueberryFucker** : no its okay, i just have a tendency to overshare with people i consider friends

 **shippingtrash** : we are friends :)

 **shippingtrash** : if you want to continue you can, its up to you

 **BlueberryFucker** : thanks

 **BlueberryFucker** : i go back to school after the weekend and kindaichi and kunimi stop really talking to me so i started focusing on vb more often, which lead to me getting really controlling on the court. so they started to king thing and stuff. people were starting to be mean, some people heard the rumor that kindaichi and i kissed but it got all twisted saying i kissed him and he flipped, or we were making out and got into some couples argument etc and just, people kept bringing it up and it made me so upset to think about that, so i just snapped at them to fuck off and then people started calling me a dick and stuff

 **BlueberryFucker** : and i didnt want to like, run away from my problems or anything, i wasnt about to let them get the upper hand or anything, so even when my mom wanted to put me in a different school, i rejected it, but i did miss a lot of class. like whether it was i stayed home or skipped or left early, i just didnt want to be there, but i always went to vb and eventually my grades were so bad that i had to go back to school and at that point more people didnt like me because i was missing school but still got to play as a regular yknow

 **BlueberryFucker** : and then there were times were i got mad that i was demi. like i started telling myself that 'if you werent demi then when kindaichi kissed you could of kissed back and dated him and none of this would happen' and stuff and i just hated myself for a really long time

 **BlueberryFucker** : then i just kind of decided that 'if they think im an asshole then ill be a giant fucking asshole' and then Dick Kageyama was born

 **shippingtrash** : im really sorry that all happened

 **BlueberryFucker** : its okay, i guess, im over it now

 **BlueberryFucker** : being at karasuno, meeting all of you, its helped a lot

 **BlueberryFucker** : meeting shouyou has helped a lot

 **shippingtrash** : awwwe kags

 **BlueberryFucker** : there was this one thing though and it still kind of bothers me

 **BlueberryFucker** : soryr, by the way, if im rambling or taking up your time i just

 **BlueberryFucker** : i never really even told shouyou about this and just

 **shippingtrash** : nnononono its completely okay im so glad youre talking to me about this stuff kags !! its important to get it out there and i like listening to peopel talking about their problems or past, it helsp me understand them better :)

 **BlueberryFucker** : thanks

 **shippingtrash** : so what was the thing

 **BlueberryFucker** : just before that game at kitagawa daiichi when everything fell apart and stuff

 **BlueberryFucker** : i was in the gym, doing what i do, and kindaichi came in and asked to talk

 **BlueberryFucker** : and id barely held a conversation with him since he kissed me that day

 **BlueberryFucker** : and i think he was trying to explain himself or something

 **BlueberryFucker** : he said that he didnt stop having feelings for me for a really long time after that and felt bad about everything that happened to me

 **shippingtrash** : at least he tried right?

 **BlueberryFucker** : yeah but i just

 **BlueberryFucker** : i just got upset with him

 **BlueberryFucker** : because to me at the time, this was all his fault, i accepted that i was demi and that wouldnt of changed anythign but he started the king stuff, he and kunimi and all my friends abandoned me andi was just pissed yknow

 **BlueberryFucker** : so i was shouting and going crazy, saying he ruined everything and that i hated him and i was crying again yadda yadda

 **BlueberryFucker** : but he didnt get upset with me, he just stood and listened and kept saying 'okay' and 'yeah' and stuff and i got so MAD i wanted to hit him orsomething and i did try to, i went to swing and he jsut caught my wrist and went 'im sorry kageyama' and left

 **BlueberryFucker** : i guess he was just staying calm so we wouldnt fight because like two days later the match happened and everythng was ruined again

 **shippingtrash** : you were a kid, when it happened, so was he. i know that doesnt exactly excuse everything that happened, but you loosing your temper at him, what he and kunimi and your team did was childish

 **shippingtrash** : youve all changed and grown since then and i think that if it really bothers you, you should try to talk to him

 **shippingtrash** : i could even go with you, if you want

 **BlueberryFucker** : we kind of talked already i guess, it got caught a little short though

 **BlueberryFucker** : it was after the first practice match we had and we talked about the match and everything, but then he mentioned middle schooland i went 'im not upset about what happened between /us/ anymore' and then i asked him if he was still and he was like 'im still stuck on why it happened, i really thought you liked me' and i was about to explain but someone came by (it turned out to be shouyou) and we ended up going our separate ways

 **BlueberryFucker** : i just want to know that he understands fully idk

 **shippingtrash** : you coudl go and speak to him or try to get his skype?? i could be sneaky in the chat too and then i can step in with things get bad

 **BlueberryFucker** : that sounds good

 **BlueberryFucker** : i think i want to do that

 **BlueberryFucker** : not yet, though, i want to wait just a bit. like a few days

 **shippingtrash** : yeah, that sounds good

 **BlueberryFucker:** okay so we've been gone a really long time and people might be worried??

 **shippingtras** h: yeah okay lets GO

 

\----------

 

 **sugacookie** : YAMAGUCHI UFCK OFF

 **yamagucci** : :)

 **OrangeFucker** : I HATE TIHIS WHAT

 **yamagucci** : :))

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I can't tell you how many times he's told me the Finland thing and it fucks me up EVERY TIME

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : You can try and disprove him, but you CAN'T

 **yamagucci** : MWAHAHAHAHAHA

 **thickthighchi** : i think i understand

 **thickthighchi** : Finland is just a state of mind, but you're never physically there

 **yamagucci** : mhmmmm he gets it

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : He told me this for the first time in middle school and it's been haunting me since

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I once didn't leave my room for three days, trying to figure it out

 **yamagucci** : i went to check on him and there were post-it notes everywhere

 **OrangeFucker** : HOW CAN FINLAND NOT BE A REAL PLACE PLEASE

 **yamagucci** : UTS ALL AN ILLUSION

 **BlueberryFucker** : um

 **shippingtrash** : should we be concerned

 **OrangeFucker** : YACHI TOBIIO DONTO LOOK AT HE PREVIOUS MESSAGES DOTN DO IT

 **OrangeFucker** : TOU WILL ONLT FEEL PAIN TOBIO I CARE ABOUT YOU TOO MUCH  TO SEE THAT HAPPEN

 **BlueberryFucker** : calm

 **shippingtrash:** awe kagehina

 **shippingtrash** : kinda want to go read the previous messages

 **yamagucci** : do it

 **yamagucci** : DO IT

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Don't do it

 **yamagucci** : tsukki what if i told them the riddle?

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Yamaguchi, i swear to fucking God

 **OrangeFucker** : riddle? im good at riddles!

 **thickthighchi** : itll take our minds off the finland crisis

 **sugacookie** : LAY ON ME

 **thickthighchi** : i already am

 **sugacookie** : LAY IT ON ME**

 **shippingtrash** : OHMYGDO

 **yamagucci** : daisuga sleepover

 **sugacookie** : fr tho

 

_sugacookie has sent an image._

 

 **sugacookie** : daichi is very warm

 **shippingtrash** : AWWE

 **BlueberryFucker** : wait tell the riddle, yamaguchi

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Please no

 **OrangeFucker** : DO IT

 **thickthighchi** : tell tell tell

 **yamagucci** : the people have spoken tsukki

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Y'all gonna regret it

 **yamagucci** : okay listen up

 **yamagucci** : you're going down a river and a wheel falls off

 **yamagucci** : how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house?

 **shippingtrash** : oh NO

 **shippingtrash** : I KNOW THE ANSWER

 **OrangeFucker** : hot damn yachi

 **shippingtrash** : ITS BECAUSE RABBITS DONT DRINK DIET PEPSI

 **yamagucci** : tbh it's only more confusing with the answer

 **sugacookie** : tjat doesnt make any sense

 **thickthighchi** : how is there a wheel on a boat?

 **shippingtrash** : i heard this in middle school and i heard the answer but i couldnt actually figure it out

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi told me the entirety of it ONCE and what pisses you off is it MAKES SENSE once you hear everything, but SHIT

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I don't even remember the whole thing, something about a unicycle and Thursdays

 **yamagucci** : mhmm

 **sugacookie** : this is too much, children go to sleep

 **sugacookie** : daichi come to bed

 **thickthighchi** : we are in bed

 **sugacookie** : you moved and now im cold and tired, come sleep with me

 **thickthighchi** : okay babe

 **shippingtrash** : awewewe im sleeping too but AWEEEE

 **BlueberryFucker** : im turning in too

 **BlueberryFucker** : yachi can you meet me before class tomorrow morning?

 **shippingtrash** : yeayea i got you

 **OrangeFucker** : ooo? tobio whats happening

 **BlueberryFucker** : secret things

 **shippingtrash** : wait is this the first secret thing we discussed or the second?

 **BlueberryFucker** : mostly the second, but a little of the first

 **shippingtrash** : oooo okie dokie

 **OrangeFucker** : talking in codes smh tobio friendship gardens are SOILED from lies and secrets

 **BlueberryFucker** : youll find out in due time now shhh go to sleep

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : And then there were two

 **shippingtrash** : im still here

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You're going down a river and a wheel falls off

 **shippingtrash** : and good night

 **yamagucci** : oh tsukki ;;)) if you wanted to be alone you need only tell me

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Shush

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You wanna come over though? Akiteru is still here and my mom just stepped out for something and well

 **yamagucci** : yeah yeah ill tell my parents. am i staying the night?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : if you want my mom wont care

 **yamagucci** : your mom makes pancakes in the morning ofc i need to stay brb packing my shit

 **shippingtrash** : tsukkiyamamaamamamaama

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : You're going down a river

 **shippingtrash** : sorrysorry ill LEAVE

 **yamagucci** : omw be there in like ten

 **Tsukishimsarus** : See you soon, Yamaguchi

 **yamagucci** : see you soon, tsukki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oyaoyaoya ive never really written a demi character before so if things r inaccurate then please feel free to yell corrections at me 
> 
> Also the FInland thing and the riddle at the end are BOT H things that are always a topic of discussion at Stage Crew and honestly I heard the riddle the first time last year before i started crew and like fuck dude ruined my life for three months
> 
> and the Finland thing omfg this guy at crew told me about it and we all try to disprove it but fuck omg its impossible


	5. Though I think I almost gave you a handjob on your birthday?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yamagucci** : YEET
> 
>  **yamagucci** : WAS IT THE GUY THAT KEPT ASKING FOR YOUR NUMBER IN CLASS
> 
>  **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes
> 
>  **Tsukishimasaurus** : He's horrible at giving head btw do not recommend
> 
>  **sugacookie** : tsukishimas got GAME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **lots of sex is mentioned in this chapter but nothing *too* graphic I suppose but fair warning if that ssort of stuff makes you uncomfortable, I kind of recap the important stuff in the end not**
> 
> I had SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS B Ye (just as i started to write this i heard a dog yelp in pain and i ran outside to check on the pupper he is okay)

**sugacookie** : up and at 'em children

 **thickthighchi** : lets GO GO

 **yamagucci** : GO GO LETS GO

 **OrangeFucker** : LETS GO DATEKOU

 **thickthighchi** : wrong team

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : WHAT TEAM?

 **yamagucci** : WILDCATS

 **sugacookie** : why are the two of you so invested in western culture?

 **yamagucci** : because we're all in this together

 **thickthighchi** : its too early for this

 **sugacookie** : my mom made coffee, ill get you some, too

 **thickthighchi** : thanks

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Gay sleepover

 **sugacookie** : didnt you and yamaguchi have a sleepover

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yeah but

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You and Daichi are dating

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Which makes it gay

 **sugacookie** : you two are practically dating lmao

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : you probably sucked daichis dick last night though

 **sugacookie** : excuse you i did that this morning

 **thickthighchi** : koushi please

 **sugacookie** : well i DID

 **sugacookie** : things were reciprocated ;;))

 **OrangeFucker** : mom dad no

 **OrangeFucker** : wheres tobio?

 **yamagucci** : feeling under attack by it's elders, the young crow sneaks it's mate, in distress

 **OrangeFucker** : and yachi

 **OrangeFucker** : yamaguchi no

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Didn't they have plans to talk before classes start?

 **OrangeFucker** : yeah but

 **OrangeFucker** : stillllllll we have practice

 **thickthighchi** : yeah, but i think it was something serious, i guess it's okay if theyre a bit late

 **OrangeFucker** : :/

 **OrangeFucker** : okay

 

\----------

 

Tobio had spotted Hitoka in the courtyard. Anxiety was never something he'd admit to experiencing, but this was not a new feeling for him. She saw him walking closer and held something in an outstretched hand. "Good morning." She said. Hitoka's voice was calm and sweet, it was almost hard for Tobio to remember her as the crude girl that was in his group chat.

It was a small carton of milk, he took it and looked back down to her. "Thanks." He offered.

"We're here early, thought maybe you would have wanted something to drink."

He nodded. "Thanks." He repeated. It was awkward, he knew this, everything he'd told her last night. It was different online, just typing out his thoughts and clicking send. No immediate repercussions, no pitiful looks. Tobio bit his lip. 

"So about Turnip-head," Hitoka began. Tobio gave a short snort under his breath. "What is it you want to do?"

"Talk to him." Tobio said. "I just... I want to explain to him that it was never really him, that it's just how I am. Apologize better, too, for how I ended up becoming in middle school." Pause. "I don't blame him and the others for rejecting me in the end. I would have, too."

She shook her head. "No, Kageyama, it wasn't you fault, y'know? You were... You were being _completely ostracized_ by your team. And while I can't exactly relate to how you reacted to their rumors and comments, I can understand _why_."

Tobio broke off their gaze. "Yachi," He started.

"Don't try to argue with me." She said. "You were a child, Kageyama, you _still_ are. The sole fact that you realize what happened needs to be corrected and the fact that you're _willing_ to do so, just proves how much more mature you've become."

"Thanks." He said. "But that wasn't what I was going to say."

"What was it?"

"I don't know what 'ostracized' means."

Hitoka stopped, laughed for a brief, few seconds and collected herself. "Being excluded. Left out."

"Yeah, that definitely sums up my middle school experience perfectly." Tobio opened his milk carton, poking a straw through the top of his drink. "Maybe not the beginning, though." Tobio went silent again.

Hitoka shifted uncomfortably for a moment. "What was it you wanted to talk about with..." She lowered her voice. " _Hinata?_ "

Tobio shrugged. "Are there any tips you can give me to... Maybe hint at my feelings for Shouyou?" He asked. "I just... You were right, I'm nervous for him to know, but if you were also right about him liking me... Maybe giving him a push in the right direction will make this easier on the both of us..."

"I don't really know, you seem to kind of flirt back and forth pretty regularly already - And considering you were completely unaware of it, if you consciously attempted flirting, you might just make everyone really uncomfortable."

"I tried to flirt with Iwaizumi-san once,"

"And?"

"He didn't talk to me for, like, a week."

Hitoka laughed, Tobio followed in suit. She opened her mouth to speak again, but it was shortly drowned out by shouts. "Where the fuck is everyone?" Ryuu and the other second-years were walking up. Hitoka looked at the time, it was almost time for morning practice.

"Oh hey, Kageyama, Yachi! What's up?" He asked.

Tobio and Hitoka looked between each other before Tobio gave a slight nod towards his drink. "Milk run." He said.

Ryuu laughed. "Got you, _Cow_ -geyama." He said. They disappeared again.

Hitoka gave Tobio and small nudge. "C'mon, it's about time for practice." She said lightly.

Tobio stayed silent a minute before saying. "The pun Tanaka made was the worst."

"Oh, it wasn't that bad-"

"I can't believe he missed out on Ka- _gay-_ ama."

Hitoka giggled. "Did you spent that minute thinking that up?"

"Yes."

She laughed again.

 

\----------

 

 **yamagucci** : oh no i lost tsukki

 **sugacookie** : how did you loose a person

 **yamagucci** : i left the club room two seconds after him and hes disappeared oh no

 **yamagucci** : TSUKKKKKKIIIIIIII

 **sugacookie** : it would work better if you were actually talking aloud

 **sugacookie** : wait no, i hear you shouting

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm actually about to tattoo the words "I'm gay" onto my forehead for fucks sake

 **yamagucci** : where did you GO

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : A girl wanted to talk to me. I'm walking back from there now, towards the gym

 **yamagucci** : i'll meet you there

 **BlueberryFucker** : what did she want to talk to you about?

 **OrangeFucker** : TOBIO

 **shippingtrash** : was it a confession lmao

 **OrangeFucker** : YACHI

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : THE FIRST TIME i got a confession this year, I told her "Hey look I don't really know you, but you seem okay. I'm gay is all, not your fault." And she was like "Yeah okay cool. You mind if I tell people that you're gay if I hear they're gonna confess to you?" And I said it was fine, like, no girls asking me out and then The Gays would flock I was thrilled

 **BlueberryFucker** : how often does this even happen?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Like I don't know, a few times a week

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : But I was caught off-guard, pre my morning coffee, by a girl THAT KNOWS I'M GAY?

 **OrangeFucker** : but she still

 **OrangeFucker** : are you positive she knows?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I was making out with another boy in a closet and she found us, I said "Do you mind?" And she left

 **yamagucci** : YEET

 **yamagucci** : WAS IT THE GUY THAT KEPT ASKING FOR YOUR NUMBER IN CLASS

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : He's horrible at giving head btw do not recommend

 **sugacookie** : tsukishimas got GAME

 **yamagucci** : ik do you even understand how hard it is to be his best friend?

 **yamagucci** : girls will talk to me and then suddenly "so is your friend tsukishima single?" "hes gay" "damn ok bye"

 **yamagucci** : and boys will be like "hey ;;)) tadashi ;;))" and then they see tsukki and bam mista steal ya boy

 **thickthighchi** : i doubt he swoops in everytime

 **yamagucci** : not everytime but

 **yamagucci** : in comparison im not getting any lmao

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I still haven't had sex though, all the boys at this school are kinda ugly

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Though, surprisingly, our teammates are pretty good looking

 **thickthighchi** : thanks

 **BlueberryFucker** : thanks

 **OrangeFucker** : thanks

 **sugacookie** : thanks

 **yamagucci** : thanks babe

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You're the reason everyone thinks we're dating

 **yamagucci** : PROBABLY

 **shippingtrash** : am i pretty tsukishima

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes

 **shippingtrash** : AWE thanks

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I've spotted Suga and Daichi

 

_Tsukishimasaurus has sent an image._

 

 **sugacookie** : wtf how did you take that where are you

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : ;)

 **OrangeFucker** : WAIT back to tsukishimas sex life

 **OrangeFucker** : or rather, yamaguchis

 **OrangeFucker** : ;;;))))

 **yamagucci** : why 

 **OrangeFucker** : BECAUSE you said 'in comparison' and I wanna know how much booty that means youre getting

 **yamagucci** : well im a virgin bc either the person is like "nah bra not up for it" or i get Snervous + i have a hot best friend that everyone prefers more

 **yamagucci** : but usUALLY anyways, i generally hook up w guys more often just cos like Boys

 **shippingtrash** : cant relate

 **yamagucci** : i think the last time i got any was like a little afte r our loss to aoba johsai and

 **yamagucci** : ooh yamaguchi stop talking

 **BlueberryFucker** : yamaguchi keep talking??

 **sugacookie** : WAS IT SOMEONE FROM SEIJIOU

 **yamagucci** : UM

 **BlueberryFucker** : tbh i dont think anyone would rly care if it was but its kind of Scandalous

 **yamagucci** : ITS GONNA MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A HOE

 **shippingtrash** : i love hoe stories THERE ISNT ANYTHING WRONG WITH THEM PLEA se

 **thickthighchi** : we should add noya hes surprisingly really big on this stuff

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Only way he'll ever be big

 **OrangeFucker** : OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH

 **thickthighchi** : i see noya hes going to add input

 **thickthighchi** : YAMAGUCHI YOU ARE A STRONG PERSON IN TOUCH WITH YOUR SEXUALITY AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SEXUALLY ACTIVE YAMAGUCHI YOU GET ALL THE DICK AND VAG YOU WANT OYAOYAOYAOYA

 **thickthighchi** : also fuck you tsukishima

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Maybe later, Nishinoya

 **yamagucci** : shit tahnks

 **yamagucci** : y'all know those two guys one has like pink hair and the other has *Brows*

 **BlueberryFucker** : hanamakki and mattsukawa? ohmygdod

 **yamagucci** : YEAH

 **yamagucci** : we all hooked up t ogether? i think theyre a couple but liek IDK

 **sugacookie** : fuckign GET SOEM

 **yamagucci** : i think i was *this* close to sucking their aces dick too lmao

 **BlueberryFucker** : iwaizumi?

 **shippingtrash** : oh shit

 **yamagucci** : ya but he ended up needing to do something idk if he would of agreed anyways BTU

 **BlueberryFucker** : gget some

 **BlueberryFucker** : we were Close in middleschool so i had some crush on him but its cool now ayy

 **shippingtrash** : oh thank god i thought we were going to have to awkwardly dance aroudn that

 **OrangeFucker** : okay but if yamagucci is Getting that mcuh then HOW MUC H IS TSUKISHIMA GETITNG Im

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : ;)

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Honestly, I don't really understand why I get so many confessions/why I'm hooking up with so many guys like?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm not even attractive. I literally look like a french fry lmao

 **yamagucci** : i love fries

 **BlueberryFucker** : did yamaguchi just confess his love for tsukishima ?

 **yamagucci** : okay but first hold the fUCK uo

 **yamagucci** : tsukki you're literally one of the like hottest people i know and ive met akaashi keiji

 **sugacookie** : truth

 **yamagucci** : YOURE SO PRETTY OFC GIRLS WILL CONFESS/GUYS WILL SUCC

 **yamagucci** : like your eyes are actual gold, like you are so gorgeous and i

 **yamagucci** : honestly like you're blonde which in of itself is beautiful, you're tall and tall people are just ??? yes??, your eyes, your glasses, FUCKING yaoi hands like

 **yamagucci** : you're hot deal with it

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : IUfcjkign

 **OrangeFucker** : DID YOU BREAK TSUKISHIMA

 **yamagucci** : I DON'T KNOW

 **sugacookie** : daichi and i are looking for him, i dont know where noya went

 **shippingtrash** : i sent screenshots to kiyoko shes absolutely loosing it

 **shippingtrash** : "why wont they just fuck already this is making me die"

 **sugacookie** : we found him

 

_sugacookie has sent an image._

 

 **sugacookie** : HES S O RED AWE e

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Leave.

 **sugacookie** : wow

 **sugacookie** : you come here. you come here, into my home, you coem here ad n you shit. you shiton me, on my beliefs, on eevrything i stand for and dor what? for some chum laughs? you take my kidnness and you shit on it . today, on the day of my daughters wedding . ..

 

 **sugacookie** has left **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **thickthighchi** : a bit of an overarcuotn

 **OrangeFucker** : 'overarcuotn'

 **thickthighchi** : this is suga ive stolen his phone for more dramatics

 

 **thickthighchi** has left **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It's seven o'clock I'm not prepared

 **yamagucci** : i wasn't prepared for you to become hot

 **OrangeFucker** : why arent you two dating already ffs

 **yamagucci** : if your brother hadn't already caused my Sexual Awakening, you definitely would have

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I still find it weird that Akiteru made you question your sexuality

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : He is EIGHT YEARS older than us, calm your dick

 **BlueberryFucker** : 'calm your dick'

 **yamagucci** : ik he's your brother so you wouldn't see it but he's HOT jesus

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Changing the subject

 **OrangeFucker** : WHA T I WANT TO KNOW

 **OrangeFucker** : IS IF YOU GUYS EVER TRIED TO DATE

 **yamagucci** : should we tell them?

 **shippingtrash** : IS TSUKKIYAMA ABOUT TO COME OUT

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It's not on the list I think we're fine to

 **OrangeFucker** : IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENIGN?

 **shippingtrash** : SHOULD IADD KIYOKO?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We never really tried dating, per say

 **yamagucci** : but in like middle school and stuff we used to make out and what not

 **shippingtrash** : not what i was expecting BUT STILL GOOD

 **OrangeFucker** : how di d that

 **OrangeFucker** : even begin

 **yamagucci** : we were discussing kissing and stuff once and tsukki was like "u ever kiss anyone?" and i waslike "spin the bottle at fukiotio's birthday party whats up bitch' and i was trying to explain how you kiss and we ended up kissing and idk

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It never really surpassed that

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Though I think I almost gave you a handjob on your birthday?

 **BlueberryFucker** : in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit

 **yamagucci** : wait THAT was what you were trying to do?

 **BlueberryFucker** : who art in heaven

 **yamagucci** : you were like groping my belt i didn't understand and went flaccid

 **BlueberryFucker** : hallow be thy name

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : mmm

 **BlueberryFucker** : amen

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Hiss

 **OrangeFucker** : okay but wtf when did this stuff happen

 **yamagucci** : last year

 **yamagucci** : we only really stopped that stuff lke a mont h after the failed hj

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yeah, I mean, I guess we *were* dating in some sense back then, but we never really gained romantic feelings for each other

 **yamagucci:** yeah we're just Gay Best Friends

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You're bi

 **yamagucci** : One and A Half Gays

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : There it is

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Daichi is yelling about where the problem children are, hurry up time for practice Nerds

 **yamagucci** : shut up you collect dinosaurs

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Ignoring that

 

\----------

 

 **yamagucci** : tsukki can you wait for me by the club room, i need to talk to suga abt somethign

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Okay

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Hey, are you going to Shimada's place after?

 **yamagucci** : no those are only on tuesdays and thursdays

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You went on Monday last week

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Lies soil friendship gardens

 **yamagucci** : did you just quote hinata?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes

 **yamamgucci** : but yeah i did but it was bc he couldnt work w me on tuesday this week

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Oh okay

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Hurry up, I'm cold

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Truly tsuffering rn

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Who can say where the road goesssss, only timeeeeeee

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : All around me are familiar facessss, worn out placesssss, worn out facessss

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Wake me up, wake me up inside, can't wake up, SAVE ME

 **yamagucci** : omw suga was busy w daichi and ennoshita abt something idk

 **yamagucci** : look at all those memes you absolute fuck

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : :)

 

_yamagucci has sent an image_

 

 **yamagucci** : tol french fry

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : That's my new favorite picture of me

 **yamagucci** : i call it 'confused, lone french fry sits in the cold'

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Beautiful

 

\----------

 

Kei was standing up as Tadashi walked closer, he brought up a hand and nudged Kei. "What's up, you meme-loving-fuck?"

Staring at Tadashi a moment, Kei lifted up his school bag as they began walking out towards the gate. "Nothing much, you raging bisexual."

"Is that all you could literally think to call me?" Tadashi asked.

Kei shrugged. "It was either that or 'soggy french fry' and I wasn't sure which you'd prefer."

"Soggy french fry. _Always_. Jesus, Tsukki, I expected you to know me better by now."

Kei stopped to laugh, Tadashi stood a few inches ahead of him, watching him.

When Kei's laughter died down, he gave Tadashi a short look before they started walking again. They passed the gate and a few, silent, but comfortable minutes passed. "Why do you keep staring at me?" Kei asked.

Tadashi shrugged, his fingers curled into his palms. Kei studied Tadashi's hands a moment. Watching his wrists mostly, waiting to see if Tadashi gave them a light tap or not. "It's stupid." Tadashi waved Kei off.

"If it's bothering you, then it's not stupid." His eyes went down to Tadashi's hands again.

Tadashi followed Kei's gaze and then shook his head. "No, Tsukki, it's nothing like that. I'm fine, seriously. I was..." He stopped to laugh, a small 'heh' left his lips, and then continued. "I was thinking about in the group chat this morning, what we told them... I was thinking about middle school..." Tadashi's eyes flicked to Kei's lips.

 _Oh_ , Kei thought. He stopped suddenly and turned fully to face his friend. "If you wanted to make out, like the good ol' days, you should of just said so. Had me worried for a second, Yamaguchi."

Tadashi laughed. "Yeah, well it's been awhile, I thought you'd shut it down. 'Specially since 'TsukkiYama' is, like, all of our friends' One True Pairing, or something."

"I could have sworn 'OTP' stood for 'Only Tears and Pain.'" Kei commented.

Laughter. "Yeah, me too." He was silent for a moment. "Y'know and besides, you're getting dick, like, every week, my last hookup was like two months ago. I was a little worried you'd think I was using you." _Not to mention, you're the one that ended it in the first place._

"Yeah, whatever, you want to make out or not?"

Tadashi pulled Kei against him roughly as an answer, and pressed his lips against him roughly. He moved fast, Tadashi's arms were carefully and loosely tossed around Kei's neck, pulling Kei into him. _More, more, more._

Kei's back hit a wall and a grunt left his lips, regardless, he was getting into it. Kei put hands on Tadashi's hips and pressed harder against him, listening to the sounds that left Tadashi's mouth, Kei wished they were louder.

A brief split apart for air, Tadashi went back and gently took Kei's lower lip in-between his teeth. Sucking on his lip, making it swollen. "My mom is gonna have an absolute field day when I come home looking like I just got fucked." Kei grunted.

"Tell Oba-san I said hi." Tadashi breathed heavily against Kei's ear before latching onto his jaw, making loud, lewd noises as he sucked gently on the flesh.

Kei gave another grunt. "You're going to leave a fucking mark-- _I swear to God_ , Yamaguchi."

"Oh please, like you don't have twenty covering your thighs alone."

"Don't shame me-" Tadashi gave a short nip at Kei's skin with his teeth. " _Fuck_."

Tadashi chuckled. "Let me know if you get hard, then I can stop." He laughed again. "Or just suck you off in an alleyway."

"Don't tempt me."

And then the kissing ended as suddenly as it began. Kei left breathless, leaning against the wall for support. "You got good at that."

Tadashi fixed his clothes and made eye contact with Kei. "Are you implying I wasn't before?"

Instead of continuing the conversation, they just laughed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okayokay okA Yyy so i have the idea of slow burn of tsukkiyama nd i want t oexplain why i added in the middle school make out shit and the kiss at the end 
> 
> this does not mean theyre together officially, but its suppose to hint that theyve always kind of had feelings for each other i suppose and that their attraction is there and prominent
> 
> though, from thsi point on they aint gon kiss or nothing just for cheeky laughs no, oh no
> 
> if they kiss again shits going DOWN your lives will be ruined mwhahaha


	6. i am 42.5kg of whoop ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Tsukishimsaurus** : He's so small
> 
>  **Tsukishimsaurus** : I've decided to adopt Hinata
> 
>  **Tsukishimsaurus** : Kageyama, you have to ask for my blessing before you marry him
> 
>  **BlueberryFucker** : Fine
> 
>  **BlueberryFucker** : NOT LIKE I WANT TO MARRY HIM OR ANYTHING BUT I'LL PLAY ALONG
> 
>  **kindamnichi** : gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this started off Serious and then

**shippingtrash** : YAMAGUCHI

 **yamagucci** : WHAT

 **shippingtrash** : DIDNT YOU SUCK TWO GUYS FROM SEIJIOS' DICKS?

 **yamagucci** : YA

 **shippingtrash** : YOU GOT THEIR SKYPES

 **yamagucci** : YEAH

 **shippingtrash** : YOU THINK YOU CAN SEE IF THEY KNOW SOMEONE ON THEIR TEAM'S SKYPE

 **yamamgucci** : YEAH WHO

 **shippingtrash** : TURNIP HEAD

 **yamagucci** : OKAY

 **shippingtrash** : AND HIS TIRED LOOKING FRIEND

 **yamagucci** : YA YOU GOT IT

 

\----------

 

 **yamagucci** : hoes

 **yamagucci** : bros**

 **bubblegumbitch** : Waht

 **mattsin** : What

 **yamagucci** : y'all got the turnip looking guy's skype?

 **mattsin** : Kindaichi?

 **yamagucci** : maybe lmao idk his name

 **bubblegumbitch** : Well, considering he's the only one on our entire team that resembles a turnip, I'm assuming it's Kindaichi

 **mattsin** : Why do you need his skype?

 **yamagucci** : dunno one of our managers asked for it she didn't tell me why

 **bubblegumbitch** : Which one?

 **yamagucci** : the gay one

 **mattsin** : Yeah, which one?

 **bubblegumbitch** : Oh snap

 **yamagucci** : blonde one in my year

 **mattsin** : I don't think we met her?

 **yamagucci** : ya well

 **yamagucci** : kindaichi's skype please

 **yamagucci** : and, quoting yachi on this, 'his tired looking friend'

 **bubblegumbitch** : Ooooh Kunimi

 **mattsin** : Their users are so great I

 **mattsin** : kindamnichi

 **mattsin** : kunimeme

 **yamagucci** : snap

 **yamagucci** : well thanks, ya homos

 **bubblegumbitch** : Whoa bro watch it

 **bubblegumbitch** : Say that again and I'll suck your dick

 **mattsin** : You already have

 **bubblegumbitch** : shit u right

 **yamagucci** : you guys are such a weird couple

 

\----------

 

 **yamagucci** : YACHI

 **shippingtrash** : WHAT

 **yamagucci** : TIRED LOOKING GUY IS KUNIMEME

 **yamagucci** : TURNIP HEAD IS KINDAMNICHI

 **shippingtrash** : THANKS ILL BUY YOU FOOD

 **yamagucci** : buy me a boyfriend tf

 **shippingtrash** : HHHHH

 **yamagucci** : just kidding made out with a hot guy yesterday night

 **shippingtrash** : oh SHIT who??

 **yamagucci** : tsukki, we were just messing around though

 **shippingtrash** : OOOOOHHHHHH

 **shippingtrash** : FUCK my otp god damn

 **shippingtrash:oh** but shit i have to do a thing

 **yamagucci** : HAVE FUN

 

\----------

 

 **shippingtrash** : kags?

 **BlueberryFucker** : yeah?

 **shippingtrash** : i got those old teammates of yours skypes

 **BlueberryFucker:** oh thanks

 **BlueberryFucker** : except like

 **BlueberryFucker** : i realized i already added them back in like middle school

 **shippingtrash** : kags please

 **BlueberryFucker** : but THANK YOU

 **shippingtrash** : I DID SO MUCH TO GET THEM

 **BlueberryFucker** : what did you even do?

 **shippingtrash** : i

 **shippingtrash** : asked yamaguchi to talk to those two guys he hooked up w and he got me them

 **BlueberryFucker** : tjats not that much

 **shippingtrash** : so much

 **BlueberryFucker** : yachi

 **shippingtrash** : s o much

 **BlueberryFucker** : ok

 **BlueberryFucker** : so do i just

 **BlueberryFucker** : add them?

 **shippingtrash** : ya and i await in the shadows, ready to raise hell if they say SHIT

 **shippingtrash** : i got roasts prepared, there are like six alone just on kindaichis hair OOOOO

 **BlueberryFucker** : you're like 149 cm

 **shippingtrash** : i am 42.5kg of whoop ass

 **BlueberryFucker** : YOURE SO TINY

 **shippingtrash** : FUCKING FIGHT ME

 **BlueberryFucker** : i literally jsut have to sit on you

 **shippingtrash** : MY GF WOULD WHOOP YOU

 **BlueberryFucker** : WHAT

 **shippingtrash** : imean not ye t but WE UH

 **BlueberryFucker** : WHAT

 **shippingtrash** : KIYOKO AND I WENT ON A DATE OVER THE WEEKEDN ?? IG WE JUST HUNG OUT AND GO T LUNCH BUT SHE WALKED ME BACK TO MY APARTMENT BUILDING ND SHE GAVE ME A LIL KISS ON THE L I P S AND WELL

 **BlueberryFucker** : oh SHIT

 **BlueberryFucker** : so much going on with kiyoyachi

 **shippingtrash** : a nd kagehina u held hands nd you have developed romantic and sexual feelings whoop

 **BlueberryFucker** : shame abt tsukkiyama

 **shippingtrash** : actually according to yamaguchi, they were messing around nd made out or smth

 **BlueberryFucker** : god damn thats great

 **shippingtrash** : I KNOW

 **shippingtrash** : WAIT WE STILL NEED TO TALK TO UR OLD TEAMMATES DONT DISTRACT ME

 **BlueberryFucker** : aw shit right okay

 **BlueberryFucker** : i will add them

 **BlueberryFucker** : now

 **shippingstrash** : kags

 **BlueberryFucker** : i think im nervous

 **shippingtrash** : AW

 **BlueberryFucker** : this is just a lot more

 **BlueberryFucker** : nerve racking than i thought

 **shippingtrash** : we can wait, you only seemed to really open up about this w anyone the other day

 **BlueberryFucker** : idk its just

 **BlueberryFucker** : they were my friends

 **BlueberryFucker** : and i want them to become that again

 **BlueberryFucker** : i know itll be hard to look past everything and work shit out but they were important to me

 **BlueberryFucker:** and im scared that instead of fixing anything, this will just make it worse

 **shippingtrash** : aw kags

 **shippingtrash** : look, before The Fiasco, were they good people?

 **BlueberryFucker** : i guess

 **shippingtrash** : kags, yes or no. were they good friends to you? i dont mean they were your buds you ate lunch with and played bally ball with, I mean, if none of that had happened, would they still be stuck by your side through thick and thin?

 **BlueberryFucker** : if none of that shit had happened?

 **shippingtrash** : mhmm

 **BlueberryFucker** : definitely

 **shippingtrash** : well, if they are such great people, then you opening up to them and explaining everythign, they will understand and if they're truly worth it, they will accept who you are and what youve done and whove you become now, and they will be your friends again

 **BlueberryFucker** : thank you yachi

 **shippingtrash** : yw kags

 **shippingtrash** : now lets add them?

 **BlueberryFucker** : yeah, okay

 

 **BlueberryFucker** has added **kindamnichi** to the chat

 

 **BlueberryFucker** has added **kunimeme** to the chat

 

 **kunimeme** : uh

 **kunimeme** : hello?

 **BlueberryFucker** : hey

 **kunimeme** : um

 **kunimeme** : new phone who dis...?

 **BlueberryFucker** : sorry i forgot my user was changed

 **BlueberryFucker** : this is kageyama tobio

 **kindamnichi** : oh shit time for me to go

 **kunimeme** : yuutarou, hear him out firstly

 **kindamnichi** : alright, fine

 **BlueberryFucker** : i wanted to explain myself, i guess, apologize too

 **kindamnichi:** i've told you i don't want your half assed apology. i already tried with you, and you went off on me

 **kindamnichi** : clearly, you didn't care all that much

 **kunimeme** : yuutarou, please

 **BlueberryFucker** : thank you kunimi

 **kunimeme** : youre welcome

 **kunimeme** : if im being honest, the past year and a half, ive heard one side of this whole thing. while i may have stuck to yuutarous side, i cant help but be curious about things on your perspective, kageyama

 **kindamnichi** : wow thanks akira

 **BlueberryFucker** : if you really dont want me to apologize, i wont, but let me explain everything

 **kindamnichi** : fine, but answer one question first

 **BlueberryFucker** : okay

 **kindamnichi** : who is 'shippingtrash'

 **shippingtrash** : aw shit i didnt think theyd look at the group members whoops

 **kunimeme** : hello

 **shippingtrash** : hi im one of kags friends

 **kindamnichi** : i didnt realize 'kags' had friends

 **shippingtrash** : OOO BITCH TALK SHIT GET HIT

 **kunimeme** : i like you

 **shippingtrash** : thanks

 **kindamnichi** : again, wow thanks akira

 **shippingtrash** : but yes, KAGS does have friends. im yachi hitoka, one of karasunos managers and we all love kags a lot and i will CUT YOU if he is hurt

 **BlueberryFucker** : thanks yachi

 **kunimeme** : but you were saying, kageyama

 **BlueberryFucker** : right, okay

 **BlueberryFucker** : i think we should start with kindaichi and yknow

 **BlueberryFucker** : the kiss

 **kindamnichi** : right

 **BlueberryFucker** : it wasnt so much that i didnt like you

 **BlueberryFucker** : its that i couldnt, i guess is what im trying to say

 **BlueberryFucker** : im demi

 **kindamnichi** : i dont know what that is

 **kunimeme** : i have a vague understanding

 **shippingtrash** : its basically, kags doesnt have a romantic or sexual attraction to people without forming some type of emotion connection or bond firstly, nd if you start being a bigot I WILL TRACK YOUR IP ADDRESS TALK SHIT GET HIT ISHJSHJHSHJS

 **kunimeme** : seriously, yuutarou, you have to admit, shes hilarious

 **kindamnichi** : i am this close to blockign you, akira

 **BlueberryFucker** : um

 **kunimeme** : go on, kageyama

 **BlueberryFucker** : thanks

 **BlueberryFucker** : so, basically, it was just. it just felt wrong to me, im not trying to offend you or anything, but i just didnt feel a strong enough bond with you, to feel an attraction to you. i really only did view you as a friend, and maybe if youd have known or maybe we kept a steady pace at becoming closer, i would have developed feelings for you, but then everything happened

 **kindamnichi** : okay

 **kindamnichi** : so, you freaking out and crying, that was just because

 **BlueberryFucker** : right, so youre gay, right?

 **kunimeme** : id hope so dang

 **kindamnichi** : yeah

 **BlueberryFucker** : imagine a female friend of yours, kinda close but not ur ride or die, suddenly grabbed you out of the blue and planted one on you

 **kindamnichi** : oh

 **BlueberryFucker** : and i just, i lost it. i completely lost my cool and and I yelled and screamed at you and im sorry. i was so terrified to loose you and kunimi and all our friends, i didnt even think about how you must have felt and im just sorry

 **kindamnichi** : i mean, in some sense i was """heartbroken""" you were a friend and you were cute, i'd had a crush on you, but it wasn't true love or anything. i guess i was just confused, upset a little, offended maybe. someone screaming and crying is not the reaction you generally want when you kiss them

 **kindamnichi** : but the way we cut you off, especially knowing now that that was what you were so afraid of, it wasn't right

 **kindamnichi** : it was just, and immediate response on my part. i was scared of how you'd treat me so my first reaction was to just ignore you, which lead to akira ignoring you, and just a lot of our friends followed in suit

 **kindamnichi** : and the king stuff, you missing school, just before graduation? that all lead back to this?

 **BlueberryFucker** : yeah, i guess

 **BlueberryFucker** : i threw myself into volleyball, because having a team was about as close as i could get to havign friends. it made me want to do my best so people would see 'kageyama is a good guy, i like him' and want to be my friend i guess, but i only got controlling

 **BlueberryFucker** : and durign school hours, people brought up what happened between you and i and i HATED it so much, i dunno, it was remembering the screamign and cryingand just the thing that ruined everything and id get so mad at them. my mom was constantly trying to get me to change schools, but i refused but i still skipped and faked illness or just begged to stay home because i just hated it there so much

 **kindamnichi** : i had no idea, kageyama

 **kindamnichi** : i'm sorry

 **BlueberryFucker** : as for when you tried to apologize before graduation

 **BlueberryFucker** : to me at the time, i was alone and angry and unliked because of you, in a sense, that if you hadnt kissed me, if you hadnt gone and gotten a crush on me, none of this would have happened, so for you to not only try and fix that, but claim that you still had a bit of some crush on me while i was completely miserable, just pissed me off

 **kindamnichi** : i'm sorry

 **BlueberryFucker** : its okay now, really

 **BlueberryFucker** : we should have talked a long time about

 **kindamnichi** : we should have

 **kindamnichi** : no offense, but for you to step forward and apologize, i never saw it coming

 **BlueberryFucker** : neither did i

 **kindamnichi** : what changed?

 **BlueberryFucker** : ive met some really great people

 **shippingtrash** : love u too kags

 **kunimeme** : im glad you two finally talked

 **kindamnichi** : where did you two go?

 **kunimeme** : we started pming and discussing ships

 **kunimeme** : i finally have one for iwaizumi san and oikawa san

 **shippingtrash** : i call it 'iwaoi'

 **kunimeme** : and she pairs yahaba san and the scary guy that stopped coming to practice

 **shippingtrash** : i saw him at the super market, he was wearing a uniform SO

 **shippingtrash** : i just get a gay vibe off of both of them

 **kindamnichi** : kyoutani and yahaba?

 **shippingtrash** : kyoutahaba

 **BlueberryFucker** : shes ship crazy, ill tell ya

 **BlueberryFucker** : tell them each one you have just at karasuno

 **kindamnichi** : cant be that many...

 **shippingtrash** : kagehina, tsukkiyama, daisuga, asanoya, ennotana, noyatana, kiyoyachi, ukaitake, yamayama, hinatsukki, asasuga, asadai

 **shippingtrash** : there r more but

 **BlueberryFucker** : yamayama?

 **shippingtrash** : u and yamaguchi

 **BlueberyFucker** : no, my sexuality doesnt agree

 **kindamnichi** : oh but w kagehina it does?

 **BlueberryFucker** : ...

 **kindamnichi** : ISNT HE THE LITTLE NUMBER TEN OH SHIT

 **kunimeme** : its good to see you two be friends again BUT OHMY

 **BlueberryFucker** : he can be very cute and honestly itll make anyone fall in love

 **shippingtrash** : im having a heart attack

 **shippingtrash** : whats the number for 119

 **kunimeme** : 666

 **kindamnichi** : 420

 **shippingtrash** : thanks

 **kindamnichi** : oh but wait whats the hina part idk his name now im curious

 **BlueberryFucker** : hinata shouyou

 **shippingtrash** : THEY CALL EACH OTHER BY THEIR GIVEN NAMES HONESTLY ITS SO CUTE

 **shippingtrash** : using given names is just being one step closer to dating each other honestly

 **shippingtrash:** tsukkiyama has known each other since elementary and still dont use given names

 **shippingtrash:** i just made myself cry

 **kunimeme:** idk who tsukkiyama are but im crying for you

 **BlueberryFucker:** tall blond guy and our pinch server

 **kunimeme:** who is who

 **BlueberryFucker:** french fry is tsukishima kei and freckles is yamaguchi tadashi

 **kunimeme** : hey yuutarou

 **kindamnichi** : yeah?

 **kunimeme** : didnt we see freckles go into a supply closet with mattsukawa san and hanamakki san ?

 **BlueberryFucker** : they had an orgy or smth idk he told us about it

 **kindamnichi** : WE NEED PROOF WE HAVE A BET GOING ON ABOUT WHATHAPPENED

 **shippingtrash** : p sure if you just ask yamaguchi he'll b like "bitch lemme tell YOU"

 **shippingtrash** : kags

 **shippingtrash** : kags omg can we

 **BlueberryFucker** : idk

 **kunimeme** : what?

 **shippingtrash** : OUR GROUP CHAT

 **shippingtrash** : all the greats have passed through there

 **shippingtrash** : our captain, our vice captain, our manager aka the girl i hope to date and that i actually migth BECAUS EWE KISSED

 **kunimeme** : you okay with it yuutarou?

 **kindamnichi** : lets go for it

 

\----------

 

 **shippingtrash** : im adding my new best friend to the group chat anyone that talks shit will be persecuted for treason 

 **BlueberryFucker** : two of my old team mates

 **BlueberryFucker** : turnip head, kindaichi, and yachis new best friend, kunimi

 **BlueberryFucker:** they need to interview yamaguchi about hooking up w mattsukawa and hanamakki

 **yamagucci** : im cool with it

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : okie dokie

 **yamagucci** : tsukki that was so adorable and unlike you wth

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Hinata took my phone

 **BlueberryFucker** : why did shouyou have your phone?

 **OrangeFucker** : WERE GETTING ICE CREAM

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : He's making me get ice cream with him

 **OrangeFucker** : IT WAS YOUR IDEA

 **OrangeFucker** ; but yeah!! add them!!

 

 **BlueberryFucker** has added **kindamnichi** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **shippingtrash** has added **kunimeme** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **shippingtrash** : hey guys meet my new best friend, kunimi

 **kunimeme** : hey im yachis new best friend

 **BlueberryFucker** : what is kindaichi then?

 **kindamnichi** : wth am i then?

 **kunimeme** : my boyfriend

 **kindamnichi** : okay i can live with it

 **BlueberryFucker** : oh when did you two start going out?

 **kunimeme** : probably about

 **kindamnichi** : three seconds ago

 **kindamnichi** : its been leading up to it for years, we were basically dating

 **kunimeme** : weve had sex like nine times already, why are we so extra?

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : We just witnessed something amazing

 **OrangeFucker** : oooo turnip head!!

 **kindamnichi** : I DON'T LOOK LIKE A TURNIP

 **kunimeme** : you kind of look like a turnip

 **kindamnichi** : i'm breaking up with you

 **kunimeme** : no youre not

 **kindamnichi** : shit u right

 **yamagucci** : damn

 **kindamnichi** : hey yamaguchi do you have any irrifeutable proof that you hooked up with our senpais?

 **yamagucci** : i have screenshots of them tryna get me to meet up with them again

 **yamagucci** : im in a gc with them and the whole point of it was to discuss future hookups but we basically just discuss memes and politics

 **yamagucci** : the screenshots r old though

 **kindamnichi** : they'll work, i want my 200 yen

 **kunimeme** : bet with our teammates

 **yamagucci** : i see

 **yamagucci** : ill pm them add me

 **kunimeme** : kayy

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : That was wild

 **yamagucci** : im a hoe and i LIKE IT

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : retweet

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Kageyama, I've lost your boyfriend

 **BlueberryFucker** : hes not my boyfriend

 **BlueberryFucker** : what do you mean youve lost him?

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Well Yamagucci had to go to a thing so i was walking home all by my lonesome, when Hinata ran up to me and was asking homework questions and we were talking when I decided I wanted icecream, we arrive at the icecream place, our orders arrive, he ate his GIANT cone of icecream within seconds and went to the bathroom, and I am in said bathroom and he's GONE

 **kunimeme** : ohmygod

 **kunimeme** : kageyama your life has gotten so much more interesting in the last year

 **BlueberryFucker** : in all honesty

 **BlueberryFucker** : call him

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I don't have his phone number

 **BlueberryFucker** : fine, I'LL do it and just see if you can hear the ringing

 **Tsukishimasaurus** :Okay

 **BlueberryFucker** : do you hear it?

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Yes, I hearusihf

 **kindamnichi** : i'm worried?

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : TOBIO HI

 **BlueberryFucker** : Shouyou?

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : HI HI HI

 **shippingtrash** : i think hes havinga sugar rush

 **yamagucci** : isn't he always stuck on a permanate one?

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : IM ON TSUKISHIMAS BACK HES GIVING ME A PIGGY BACK RIFE

 

_Tsukishimasaurus has sent an image_

 

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : HES BEING REALLY NICE OH HE WANTS TO TALK NOW

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I have no younger siblings

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I have never babysat

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : The closest I have ever had to caring for a child was the time Yamaguchi had the flu, but refused to believe so

 **yamagucci** : LISTEN

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I know he's usually somewhat

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Put together

 **shippingtrash** : no hes not

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Okay true but, I was in no way prepared for sugar rush Hinata

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I wasn't prepared for paternal instincts I just want to tuck him into bed and make sure he's safe what the fuck

 **kunimeme** : ive known you like fifteen minutes and that just soundswrong

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : He's on my back, getting a piggyback ride

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : And I'm allowing it?

 **kindamnichi** : that sounds wild

 **yamagucci** : he shouldnt be that much a of a challenge to carry, i make you carry me all the time

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : He's so small

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I've decided to adopt Hinata

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Kageyama, you have to ask for my blessing before you marry him

 **BlueberryFucker** : Fine

 **BlueberryFucker** : NOT LIKE I WANT TO MARRY HIM OR ANYTHING BUT I'LL PLAY ALONG

 **Kindamnichi** : gay

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I think he's asleep, I have to carry him home and make sure he's safe

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I'm disgusted with my generosity right now

 **yamagucci** : youre nice to ME

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Yeah, but you're Yamaguchi

 **shippingtrash** : TSUKKI

 **kunimeme** : YAMA

 **yamagucci** : omfg yachi i thought you were calling him tsukki i was about to attack

 **shippingtrash** : i know my place lmao

 **BlueberryFucker** : is it safe to say that kunimi and yachi have literally become best friends?

 **shippingtrash** : yes

 **kunimeme** : yes

 **shippingtrash** : hes so blunt and hilarious i love him

 **kunimeme** : shes so protective and such shipping trash shes amazing

 **yamagucci** : you're both gay so you're basically platonic soulmates

 **kunimeme** : yes, basically

 **shippingtrash** : today has been a day

 **kindamnichi** : it sure the fuck has ohmygod

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Hinata is at home in bed, I feel at peace

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I'm going home, maybe I'm sick

 **yamagucci** : if you actually are i will laugh adn never stop laughing

 **kunimeme** : i am so happy that we'r ein this chat

 **kindamnichi** : bless

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall idk i want best friend kags and yachi but also yachi and kunimi so badly for whatever reason. like i want yachi to pull a fucking yamaguchi and be the only one allowed to call him kags and i want yachi and kunimi to talk shit and ships and memes and be best friends god fuckign dammit i want this so badly and ican MAKE IT HAPPEN


	7. I DROPPED MY FUCKIGN FROYO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **kindamnichi** : whats kageyama's favorite dessert?
> 
>  **yamagucci** : what?
> 
>  **kindamnichi** : frouyou
> 
>  **kindamnichi** : cause its like shouyou
> 
>  **yamagucci** : i got it, it just wasnt funny
> 
>  **Tsukishimasaurus** : That was cold
> 
>  **kindamnichi** : almost as cold as my frouyou
> 
>  **kindamnichi** : akira just hit me
> 
>  **kunimeme** : what did we say about puns?
> 
>  **kindamnichi** : not to tell them
> 
>  **kunimeme** : im sorrying for hitting you
> 
>  **kunimeme** : sorry*
> 
>  **yamagucci** : sorrying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FROYO and pets

**kindamnichi** : ohmyGOD

 **kindamnichi:** yachi and akira really are best friends

 **BlueberryFucker:** what do you mean?

 **kindamnichi:** do you follow her on instagram?

 **yamagucci:** kageyama refuses to get an instagram

 **kindamnichi** : its so fulfilling though

 **yamagucci:** hes a nerd idk

 **yamagucci:** WAIT WHAT DID YACHI POST ON INSTAGRAM

 **kindamnichi** : BOTH of their instas

 **kindamnichi** : LIKE TWELVE POSTS EACH AND THEIR BOTH IN ALL OF THEM

 **kunimeme** : we went and got froyo before school

 **shippingtrash** : there is this amazing place in the shopping district omg i never knew it was there

 **kunimeme** : yuutarou and i used to go there a lot with kageyama in middle school

 **BlueberryFucker** : omg froyo palace

 **BlueberryFucker** : yachi this is important

 **BlueberryFucker** : what flavor did you get? 

 **shipppingtrash** : it was a recommended flavor combination

 **shippingtrash** : mint cotton candy?

 **BlueberryFucker** : THAT was my favorite

 **shippingtrash** : AYYYE

 **OrangeFucker** : sounds weird

 **shippingtrash** : its amazing

 **OrangeFucker** : i woke up this morning with three texts from tsukishima

 **OrangeFucker** : he kept referring to me as his child

 **shippingtrash** : tsukishima adopted you last night

 **OrangeFucker** : oh okay i can live with it

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I don't even understand it honestly, it just sort of happened

 **OrangeFucker** : team dad tsukishima

 **yamagucci** : no, team MOM

 **yamagucci** : when suga graduates, tsukki is going to be the new team mom

 **shippingtrash** : YES

 **yamagucci** : team mom team mom team mom

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Why am I accepting this?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : If you guys are going to be my children, there are rules

 **kunimeme:** yuutarou and i are on a different team

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Nope, I'm your mom now

 **kunimeme:** ok, yuutarou is married in though 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : First off, Land Before Time, absolute BULLSHIT

 **yamagucci:** TSUKKI YOU CRIED

 **yamagucci:** FOR  TWO HOURS

 **yamagucci** : OVER LITTLEFOOTS MOM

 **Tsukishimasaurus:** I have no idea what you're talking about 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Who's Tsukki??

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : My name is Tsukishima

 **yamagucci:** hoe dont do it

 **Tsukishimasaurus:** You're banned from calling me Tsukki forever

 **yamagucci** : oh my  god

 **yamagucci:** you tried this in middle school

 **Tsukishimasaurus:** AND I'LL STICK TO IT THIS TIME

 **yamagucci:** LIES

 **yamagucci:** TSUKKI

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : BANNED

 **OrangeFucker** : what is happenING

 **shippingtrash:** I DROPPED MY FUCKIGN FROYO

 **kunimeme:** yachi dropped her froyo

 **shippingtrash** : im going to cry

 **kindamnichi:** AKIRA help the poor chid

 **kunimeme:** shes nearly in tears, im buying her more froyo

 **kunimeme:** YACHI IS SO SAD IM

 **kindamnichi** : DO SOMETHING

 **kindamnichi** : shes basically my platonic soulmate-in-law

 **kunimeme** : i am dragging her to the froyo palace

 **kunimeme:** she looks so sad YACHI

 

_kunimeme has sent an image_

 

 **kunimeme:** i haveto drag her

 

_shippingtrash has sent an image_

 

 **shippingtrash** : when he holds your hand <3 <3

 **kunimeme** : babe <3

 **shippingtrash** : stud muffin <3

 **kunimeme** :AHHA WHAT

 **shippingtrash** : idk i want my froyo too gay for this

 **kunimeme** : me

 **shippingtrash** : aw fuck my froyo

 **kunimeme** : oh no

 **yamagucci** : TSUKKKKKKKIIIIIIIII

 **Tsukishimasaurus:** Sorry, do you guys hear that? Sounds like the wind

 **shippingtrash** : im in pain

 **shippingtrash** : kunimi is buying me moreLET ME DO IT

 **kunimeme** : NO

 **kindamnichi** : you guys are literally in the same area

 **kindamnichi:** why are you

 **kindamnichi:** texting

 **OrangeFucker** : tobio lets get froyo

 **BlueberryFucker** : yes

 **shippingtrash** : WE SHOULD ALL GET FROYO

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We have school in like an hour why are you guys getting froyo

 **shippingtrash** : we live surprisingly close

 **OrangeFucker** : OH SOMEONE TEXTED ME 

 

\----------

 

_shimizoom has sent an image_

 

 **shimizoom** : hinata? why is there a boy holding hitokas hand and taking her to Froyo Palace?

 **OrangeFucker:** oo thats kunimi, yachis new best friend

 **OrangeFucker** : she dropped her froyo and got really emotional, so he took her back to the froyo place to get more

 **OrangeFucker:** i think hes literally just leading her back

 **shimizoom:** oh

 **OrangeFucker** : why are you all the way by yachis?? you live a lot closer to the school, dont you?

 **shimizoom:** i was planning on walking with her to school. we were suppose to yesterday, but she had last minute plans to leave early, so i decided to come to her today

 **OrangeFucker** : aw how cute

 **shimizoom** : hinata how long has kunimi known hitoka?

 **OrangeFucker** : probably about

 **OrangeFucker** : a day

 **shimizoom** : and theyre best friends?

 **OrangeFucker:** i think it started ironically, but slowly, yes

 **OrangeFucker** : he used to go to school with tobio, along with turnip head

 **OrangeFucker** : or kindaichi if you want to be specific

 **shimizoom** : oh

 **OrangeFucker** : mhmm yesterday was crazy, we actually witnessed the extremely casual beginning of kunimis and kindaichis relationship

 **shimizoom** : theyre dating?

 **shimizoom** : oh

 **OrangeFucker** : if you were worried yachi would get a crush on kunimi, dont be, seeing as he - to my knowledge - identifies as male,,,

 **shimizoom** : WHAT no i just

 **shimizoom** : its nothing, really

 **OrangeFucker** : shimizu, do you...

 **OrangeFucker** : like yachi?

 **shimizoom:** i mean

 **shimizoom** : yeah, i do like hitoka, a lot

 **shimizoom:** but i think i upset her and

 **shimizoom** : even if i cant be with her romantically, i want to keep a friendship with her

 **shimizoom** : and MAYBE i worried for a minute that shed get feelings for him (i dont know, she told me shes a lesbian but)

 **OrangeFucker** : why do you think shes upset with you?

 **shimizoom** : we hung out over the weekend and after i walked hitoka back to her apartment building, i kissed her

 **shimizoom** : i didnt ask her permission or anything, i just went for it, and i should of made sure it was okay first

 **shimizoom** : when i got home, i texted her, saying we should walk to school together and she said we would, but when she suddenly couldn't...

 **shimizoom:** and then she ignored me for most of the day and at practice

 **OrangeFucker** : id think shed be glad that you kissed her

 **OrangeFucker** : i think she likes you a lot, too

 **shimizoom** : but you know how wary she can be with people touching her, it doesnt matter if hitoka likes me or not, i didnt ask first

 **OrangeFucker** : why dont you talk to her now? just ask her about it, yachi can be so open and excitable online, but in real life, shes anxious and acts in. maybe you stepping up to the plate and being really open with her about everything would be good for her, just to get the conversation going, i mean

 **shimizoom** : i just dont want to see her unhappy, or uncomfortable, or anything of the sort

 **shimizoom** : my parents know that i like women, and theyre perfectly fine with it, but from what hitoka tells me her mom doesnt seem to even show any sign of understanding the lgbt community, what if my confessing just makes her feel pushed to coming out and possibly being unaccepted because of it

 **OrangeFucker** : well, my parents are kind of the same, i dont know where they stand on those issues, but it doesnt stop me from liking and getting crushes on guys. and if SAY my crush on a guy works out and we date or something, if im not 100% comfortable with coming out to my family, my partner - being that he is an actually decent person - would be supportive of that decision

 **OrangeFucker** : you need to make it known to yachi that if she is okay with pursuing a relationship with you, that its also perfectly okay that she stays in the closet until shes positive its safe to come out, or she is at a point in her life where she will remain safe regardless of her moms reaction

 **shimizoom** : youre right, hinata

 **shimizoom:** WHAT I WANT TO KNOW is why yo u do so bad in school, youre SMART

 **OrangeFucker** : schools BORING

 **shimizoom:** im telling tsukishima

 **OrangeFucker:** how did you know he adopted me?

 **shimizoom:** i know everything

 **OrangeFucker** : of course

 

\----------

 

 **OrangeFucker** : guess whos back

 **OrangeFucker:** back again

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Son

 **OrangeFucker:** mom

 **BlueberryFucker** : tjis is so WEIRD please

 **kunimeme** : wow a very pretty girl is approaching us and yachi looks frozen

 **kindamnichi:** wot in tarnation

 **kindamnichi** : youre gay

 **kunimeme** : im gay not blind look

 

_kunimeme has sent an image_

 

 **kindamnichi** : wow

 **BlueberryFucker** : shimizu senpai?

 **OrangeFucker** : SHIMIZU SENPAI!

 **kindamnichi** : shimizu senpai!?

 **kunimeme** : apparently thats shimizu senpai

 **kunimeme** : aw theyre talking yachi looks love struck and shimizu looks hopeless

 **kunimeme** : ship

 **OrangeFucker:** i feel accomplished

 **kindamnichi** : wait s hit akira youre still down thereSCHOOL STARTS IN HALF AN HOU R LETS GO GO

 **yamagucci** : LETS GO LETS GO

 **OrangeFucker** : LETS GO DATEKOU

 **kunimeme** : they have the best fucking chant i swear

 **kunimeme** : w hat a fuckign BOP

 **OrangeFucker** : do we even have a chant?

 **BlueberryFucker:** karasunooooooooooFIGHT

 **OrangeFucker** : LAME

 **OrangeFucker** : our school doesnt believe in the volleyball club

 **yamagucci** : sad but true

 **yamagucci** : i cant find my shoes please send help

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm coming to help

 **yamagucci** : thanks

 **kunimeme** : wait so if tsukishima is everyones mom how he is suppose to get married to yamaguchi

 **kunimeme** : wait if tsukishima is everyones mom then that means kageyama and hinata are siblings and they cant get married

 **shippingtrash** : for fucks sake tsukishima youre blowing holes in ships

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : First of all

**Tsukishimasaurus** : Kageyama is only my son-in-law, he and Hinata are already married

 **kindamnichi** : why werent we invited to the weddding?

 **BlueberryFucker** : because you and kunimi werent talking to me

 **OrangeFucker** : oh snap

 **kunimeme** : youre invited to our wedding since we have made peace

 **kunimeme:** OHMYGDO

 **shippingtrash:** SDONT

 **yamagucci:** WHAT HAPPENED

 **kunimeme:** RIGHT SO SHIMIZU AND YACHI ARE ABT TO LEAVE FOR SCHOOL AND I STARTED HEADINGTOWARDS YUUTAROUS HOUSE

 **kindamnichi** : aw babe

 **kunimeme** : AND I WENT 'YOU GUYS BETTER COME TO YUUTAROUS AND I'S WEDDING OK?"

 **kunimeme** : AND SHIMIZU GOES "YOU BETTER MAKE SURE I CATCH THE BOUQUET" AND W INKED AT YACHI

 **kunimeme** : yachi screamed

 **kunimeme** : it  was really quiet and like this tiny lil yelp but she screamed

 **shippingtrash** : II CANT LOOOK HER IN THE EYEES

 **OrangeFucker** : look her in the eyes

 **OrangeFucker** : and give her a lil smooch

 **shippingtrash** : WAHT

 **OrangeFucker** : peck on the cheek

 **OrangeFucker** : a lil MWA

 **shippingtrash** : im walking to school now and i hate hinata

 **OrangeFucker** : :(

 **BlueberryFucker** : she doesnt hate you

 **OrangeFucker** : :)

 **OrangeFucker** : do you love me tobio?

 **yamagucci** : the real question

 **kindamnichi** : bets are on the table

 **kunimeme** : im on the edge of my seat

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : the world waits in anticipation

 **BlueberryFucker** : fuck you guys

 **BlueberryFucker** : yes shouyou, i love you

 **OrangeFucker** : YAY ILY2

 

_yamagucci has sent an image_

 

 **yamagucci** : tsukki is here and he is helping me find my shoes

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I said you were BANNED

 **yamagucci** : :(

 **BlueberryFucker** : tsukishima unban yamaguchi

 **yamagucci** : :)

 **Tsukshimasaurus** : No, fuck you

 **yamagucci** : :(

 **BlueberryFucker:** tsukishima

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : FINE BUT FOR ONE DAY he's banned

 **yamagucci** : :/

 **yamagucci** : i can live with that

 **BlueberryFucker** : me too

 **OrangeFucker** : team dad tobio

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : No, I don't want to share custody of my children with him

 **kindamnichi** : AKIRA

 **kindamnichi** : I SEE YOU

 

_kindamnichi has sent an image_

 

 **kindamnichi** : HE BROUGHT ME FROYO

 **kunimeme** : i got you tropical mist flavored

 **kindamnichi** : fuck YEAH

 **BlueberryFucker** : ew you still eat that

 **kindamnichi** : its great fuck you

 **BlueberryFucker** : i think your boyfriend would have a problem with that

 **kindamnichi** : i think yours would too

 **BlueberryFucker** : i

 **BlueberryFucker** : liste n

 **kunimeme** : tropical mist is gross but i love you so

 **kindamnichi** : mhmm still better than your boring ass favorite

 **OrangeFucker** : whats tropical mist?

 **BlueberryFucker** : its gross

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : it sounds gross

 **BlueberryFucker** : its like topical, pineapple and bananas and stuff

 **BlueberryFucker** : and the mist part is REALLY intense mint and its nasty do not recommend

 **kindamnichi** : its amazing dont listen to him

 **kunimeme** : okay but whats wrong with liking vanilla?

 **kindamnichi** : you cant go to a froyo place that specializes in weird and obscure flavors, only to buy VANILLA

 **kindamnichi** : oh i just thought of a joke

 **yamagucci** : what is it?

 **kindamnichi** : whats kageyama's favorite dessert?

 **yamagucci** : what?

 **kindamnichi** : frouyou

 **kindamnichi** : cause its like shouyou

 **yamagucci** : i got it, it just wasnt funny

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : That was cold

 **kindamnichi** : almost as cold as my frouyou

 **kindamnichi** : akira just hit me

 **kunimeme** : what did we say about puns?

 **kindamnichi** : not to tell them

 **kunimeme** : im sorrying for hitting you

 **kunimeme** : sorry*

 **yamagucci** : sorrying

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Sorrying

 **BlueberryFucker** : sorrying

 **OrangeFucker** : sorrying

 **kindamnichi** : sorrying

 **kunimeme:** fuck you guys

 **kindamnichi** : can i have a kiss to make me feel better?

 **kunimeme** : youre gonna taste like tropical mist and i cant allow that

 **kindamnichi** : B(

 **BlueberryFucker** : give him a kiss on the cheek

 **kindamnichi** : B)

 **yamagucci** : why is it whenever someone goes B( or :( kageyama always steps in to make it better

 **BlueberryFucker** : there is something really sad about those faces to me

 **BlueberryFucker** : i just have to correct it

 **OrangeFucker** : tsukishima i think youll have to live with tobio being team dad

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : No, because how will you be my son, if your husband is my husband? Or... If your husband shares custody. Am I married to Kageyama?

 **BlueberryFucker** : god i hope not

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : retweet

 **yamagucci** : you and kageyama shared a lust driven night of passion in the rose garden and now you two share custody

 **kunimeme** : #kagetsukki

 **yamagucci:** that looks gross but ok

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Okay, but since I adopted Hinata and he isn't actually Kageyama's biological son, it's okay that they're married. Kageyama has no custody over Hinata

 **OrangeFucker** : tjis is so weird

 **kindamnichi** : i got my kiss

 **kunimeme** : he turned his head last minute and now all i can taste are minty bananas

 **kunimeme** : hell is empty and all the devils are here

 **kindamnichi** : over reaction

 **kunimeme** : is it?

 **BlueberryFucker** : it really isnt

 **kindamnichi** : fuck you kageyama

 **kunimeme** : oh you know what i just realized

 **kunimeme** : so we were super casual about it but the other day we actually did start dating

 **kindamnichi** : surprisingly

 **kunimeme** : we were really sarcastic about it but ya

 **OrangeFucker** : yeah i was meaning to ask about that, did you guys like, discuss after

 **kindamnichi** : yesh

 **kunimeme** : we probably should tell the team

 **kindamnichi** : true

 **kunimeme:** im pretty sure theyve had a bet going since we joined the team

 **kindamnichi** : since middleschool**

 **kunimeme** : TRUE

 **OrangeFucker** : our two senpais had a bet going about tsukkiyama

 **yamagucci** : sugawara and asahi

 **BlueberryFucker** : vice captain and our ace

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : silver fox and the guy that looks twenty seven

 **kunimeme** : ohhh

 **yamagucci** : suga lost, sadly

 **OrangeFucker:** suga was betting you two were dating

 **OrangeFucker** : why is it SAD

 **yamagucci** : ,,,

 **yamagucci** : i could say this thing that would make a lot of sense rn but idk if im allowed to

 **BlueberryFucker** : tsukishima is he allowed to

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Hell if I know shit, I don't know what he's talking about

 **BlueberryFucker** : oh i thought this was about the list?

 **kunimeme** : the list?

 **kindamnichi** : the list.

 **OrangeFucker** : they have a list of stuff they cant discuss, or embarrasing stuff is reveled. stuff has been reveled

 **yamagucci:** hinata no

 **OrangeFucker** : we found out yamaguchi masturbated in the school bathroom in middle school once, and that they once compared penis sizes

 **yamagucci** : one day, one day without bringing it up, all i'm asking here

 **kindamnichi** : wait who has the bigger penis

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Me

 **yamagucci** : possibly ITS NOT RELEVENT ANYMORE

 **kunimeme** : penis measaurment v.2

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : ;)

 **yamagucci** : ;)

 **OrangeFucker** : why

 **yamagucci** : right sorry changing the subject

 **yamagucci** : thinking about it now, the suga thing probably WOULDNT make much more sense so im gonna drop

 **yamagucci** : wow it really doesnt make any sense why did i

 **yamagucci** : it would jsut change the subject tbh

 **kindamnichi** : dont drop

 **kunimeme** : pick it up and tell us

 **kindamnichi** : that was so lame you fucking nerd

 **kindamnichi** : ZDONT HIT ME

 **kunimeme** : I WASNT GOING TO

 **kindamnichi** : SURE

 **yamagucci** : i mean ig im allowed to but it isnt really set in stone

 **yamagucci:** the other day suga wanted to talk to me so i stayed after practice

 **yamagucci:** nd he and ennoshita and daichi were there

 **kunimeme** : who?

 **BlueberryFucker** : wing spiker in our practice match and our captain

 **kunimeme** : oh the one with THIGHS

 **kindamnichi** : MHMM

 **kunimeme** : hes a constant topic of discussion at practices

 **kindamnichi** : those fucking thighs

 **yamagucci** : true

 **yamagucci** : but basically daichi was like 'chikra ur pretty cool thinking abt making u captain when i leave'

 **yamagucci** : and suga said basically the same to me but abt being vice

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : WHAT

 **OrangeFucker** : YAMAGUCHI THATS AMAZING

 **kunimeme** : !!!

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I'm really happy for you!!

 **OrangeFucker** : TSUKISHIMA JUST USED DOUBLE EXCLAMATION POINTS GUSY s

 **BlueberryFucker** : thats a sign of the apocalypse

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Fuck you guys

 **yamagucci** : thank you tsukki

 **Tsukishimasaurus:** banned

 **kindamnichi** : tropical mist froyo for EVERYONE

 **BlueberryFucker** : no

 **kunimeme** : no

 **kindamnichi** : god damn

 **yamagucci** : ITS NOT LIKE DEFINITE OR ANYTHING

 **yamagucci** : its like either me or maybe tanaka idk ennoshita gets a say in it yknow and i think he wants tanaka to be his vice cos its p surefire hes gonna be captain

 **OrangeFucker** : okay but

 **OrangeFucker** : finish this sentence

 **OrangeFucker** : Tanaka is

 **BlueberryFucker** : totally in love with ennoshita

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : a raging bisexual

 **yamagucci:** p gay for ennoshita

 **OrangeFucker:** im glad we could all agree on this

 **kunimeme** : oh hey question

 **kunimeme** : is your captain single?

 **BlueberryFucker** : arent

 **BlueberryFucker** : arent you dating kindaichi?

 **BlueberryFucker** : or did i miss something

 **kindamnichi** : one of our senpais seriously has a thing for his thighs if ur picking up what im putting down

 **OrangeFucker** : ooo who

 **kunimeme:** second year, yahaba

 **kunimeme** : he was the setter during our practice match before oikawa was able to join

 **BlueberryFucker** : isnt that the one yachi ships with some scary guy she saw at the grocery store?

 **kunimeme** : yeah but hes never in practice anymore, but he also didnt officially quit yknow

 **BlueberryFucker** : i see

 **BlueberryFucker** : well daichi is pretty in love with suga

 **BlueberryFucker** : they are, in fact, quite the item

 **OrangeFucker** : mom and dad

 **yamagucci** : not for long

 **OrangeFucker** : considering tsukishima is gonna be team mom, i feel like you should be team dad

 **BlueberryFucker** : i thought i was team dead

 **yamagucci:** team dead

 **BlueberryFucker** : team dad*

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : If Daichi ever dies

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Deadichi

 **yamagucci** : if

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Jury's still out on that one

 **kindamnichi** : our team mom and team dad are the same person

 **kunimeme** : dont do it

 **kindamnichi** : iwaizumi senpai

 **kunimeme** : do not ask any question with i*****mi as the main topic yuutarou will never stop talking

 **kinadamnichi** : you blow this way out of proportion

 **kunimeme** : you have a high key crush on him

 **kunimeme** : if he wasnt such a yandere for oikawa and if i didnt give you bjs on the reg, youd probably be dating him 

 **kindamnichi** : liste n

 **BlueberryFucker** : been there done that

 **kindamnichi** : i love akira not iwaizumi senpai

 **kunimeme** : thanks babe

 **kunimeme** : but like

 **kunimeme** : "akira did you see that spike iwaizumi senpai just did? he was so COOL it was amazing! iwaizumi senpai was just by me he was so COOL!! iwaizumi senpai said his favorite movie is godzilla can we watch godzilla i bet its so COOL! akira iwaizumi senpai said hes show me how to do new serves its gonna be so COOL!!"

 **kindamnichi** : i

 **BlueberryFucker** : you were like this in middle school too

 **kindamnichi** : so were YOU

 **BlueberryFucker** : i had my reasons

 **kunimeme** : at least kageyama admits when he had a crush on our senpai

 **kindamnichi** : W ell its time for club gtg

 **kunimeme** : YOU CANT ESCAPE ME

 **kinadamnichi** : AHHHHH

 **kunimeme** : hes actually running away screaming

 **OrangeFucker** : waht

 

_kunimeme has sent a video_

 

 **kunimeme** : people are staring at him

 **kunimeme** : literally if it werent for half the school having a crush on oikawa and the other half having a crush on iwaizumi then the volleyball team would just be widely hated

 **kunimeme** : god what are we gonna do when they graduate

 **BlueberryFucker:** suffer?

 **kunimeme** : already doign that

 **kunimeme** : anyways its time for club i have to go

 **OrangeFucker** : have fun!!

 **BlueberryFucker** : bye

 **OrangeFucker** : oo tobio that reminds me, meet me out front the clubroom please

 **BlueberryFucker** : why?

 **OrangeFucker** : youll see!

 **yamagucci** : WE FOUND MY SHOES

 **OrangeFucker** : you were still lookign whaht the heck

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes, and now we're probably going to be late

 **BlueberryFucker** : where were they

 **yamagucci** : under my cat

 **OrangeFucker** : you have a cat?

 **yamagucci** : i have two cats

 **yamagucci** : and three dogs, one parrot, a one chameleon

 **yamagucci** : my parents are pet people

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I don't have any pets, so I've taken to French Fry as my honorary cat

 **OrangeFucker** : french fry

 **yamagucci** : the one that was on top of my shoes

 **yamagucci** : hes really old, very fat, and mustard yellow

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I love him more than I love myself

 **yamagucci** : he really does

 **yamagucci** : and french fry loves tsukki

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : BANNED

 **BlueberryFucker** : what about the others

 **yamagucci** : french fry and strawberry

 **yamagucci** : i got strawberyr after i met tsukki nd it was around his bday so we let him name her

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Strawberry hates me

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Also, BANNED

 **yamagucci** : she really does

 **yamagucci** : STOP THAT

 **yamagucci** : its cause you gave her a stupid name

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : when you were allowed to name a cat you named him FRENCH FRY

 **yamagucci** : you love french fry

 **BlueberryFucker** : okay but what about the dogs

 **BlueberryFucker** : all cats inherently hate me, but dogs seem to like me

 **OrangeFucker** : am i the only one that is interested in hearing about the parrot and chameleon

 **yamagucci** : i think you'll notice a pattern with my pets

 **yamagucci** : so my three dogs are pie, cake, and cookie

 **yamagucci** : honestly there isn't any reason behind their names we just chose dessert names because we're also unoriginal

 **yamagucci** : and my parrot, which is like the only one that is actually mine, is kiwi

 **yamagucci** : and my chameleon is name apple

 **OrangeFucker** : apple

 **yamagucci** : he was green at firs t and he wouldnt change color for so long i thought he was broken

 **yamagucci** : and then he was red one day and i finally named him

 **BlueberryFucker** : what a fucking ride

 

_yamagucci has sent an image_

 

 **yamagucci** : put down french fry we ar e going to be LATE

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : fi NE

 **BlueberryFucker** : that cat is giant

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Leave him alone, he's doing his best

 **OrangeFucker** : yamaguchi how much does french fry weight?

 **yamagucci** : he's 18.61kg last time i checked

 **BlueberryFucker** : what the FUCK

 **OrangeFucker** : i am at the clubroom tobio where tf are u

 **BlueberryFucker** : im comign jfijfejif

 **BlueberryFucker** : yachi and shimizu stopped me, they look really in love its really cute

 **OrangeFucker** : AWE

 **shippingtrash** : shut up kags

 **shippingtrash** : kagehina is more real than kiyoyachi

 **yamagucci** : TRUE

 **shippingtrash** : yamaguchi can i come to your house after saturday practice i want to meet your dogs

 **yamagucci** : YES everyone come and meet my pets

 **OrangeFucker** : does strawberry hate everyone?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : No, she only hates me

 **yamagucci** : ACCTUALLY

 **yamagucci** : she was so sweet and cuddly and then she meets tsukki and its not even like she scratches him or anything she blatantly ignored him/will not let him pet or hold her

 **yamagucci** : its kind of hilarious tbh

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It's because she's gay and I'm gay, we instantly clash

 **shippingtrash** : but im gay and i dont hate you

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Does this mean I can pick you up at random times

 **shippingtrash** : ask permission first

 **yamagucci** : maybe you only needed to ask permission

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'll try that on Saturday

 **OrangeFucker** : are we all officially meeting up at yamaguchis on saturday

 **kunimeme** : can yuutarou and i come

 **yamagucci** : YES

 **yamagucci** : ill have snacks

 **BlueberryFucker** : god bless

 **shippingtrash** : we can all get froyo too

 **OrangeFucker** : YES im so excited

 **OrangeFucker** : its only tuesday im sad now

 **kunimeme** : much excite

 **kunimeme** : i just gothti wit ha volleyball i have to get back to practive

 **kunimeme** : YAHABA IS SALT Y THAT THICH THIGHS HAS ABOOYFRIEND AND HES TAKING IT OUT ON ME

 **kunimeme** : DONT SHOOT THE MESSANGER WAHT THE FUCK

 **yamagucci** : ohymgod

 **OrangeFucker** : tobio please hurry up i got you froyo and its starting to melt and idk if you can eat it before practice starts

 **BlueberryFucker** : im sprinting now

 **shippingtrash** : can confirm kags is sprinting

 **OrangeFucker** : yey

 **shippingtrash** : no but he actually is, he looks so determined

 

_shippingtrash has sent an image_

 

 **shippingtrash** : there he go

 **yamagucci** : nyoom

 **shippingtrash** : HE run

 **BlueberryFucker** : ive made it

 

_OrangeFucker has sent an image_

 

 **OrangeFucker** : he has his froyo

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi and I have also arrived

 

_yamagucci has sent an image_

 

 **yamagucci** : kagehina

 **shippingtrash** : kiyoko and i are at the gym wya everyone

 **BlueberryFucker** : shouyou and i are eating froyo and shouyou got tropical mist im not talking to him anymore

 **yamagucci** : he says its really good i kind of want to try it

 **OrangeFucker** : Ill let you try some

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Hinata, you're my son and all, but Tropical Mist sounds sinful no thanks

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi, no

 **yamagucci** : sorry tsukishima

 **shippingtrash** : gasp

 **OrangeFucker** : gods crying

 **BlueberryFucker** : babies are crying, mothers are crying, the pope is crying

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : You're offically unbanned, you call me Tsukishima is so weird bye

 **yamagucci** : AHA THATS THE FUCK RIGHT TSUKKI

 **shippingtrash** : daichi is shouting hurry up guys

 **yamagucci** : EVERYONE RUN

 **OrangeFucker** : BUT MY FROYO

 **yamagucci** : fuck your froyo

 **yamagucci** : i want to be vice captain next year gotta blast

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : And we run

 **BlueberryFucker** : eat it faster

 

_OrangeFucker has sent an image_

 

 **OrangeFucker** : waht the fuck tobios done i

 **OrangeFucker** : I HAVE A BRAIN FREEZE BUT IM DONE TELL DAICHI WERE SORRY AND THAT WERE COMING

 **BlueberryFucker** : NYOOM

 **shippingtrash** : daichi says, usually, a froyo date is inexcusable, but he ships kagehina and ukai nd take-sensei arent here yet (we think ~~hope~~ theyre making out in take-senseis office shhh)

 **shippingtrash** : HURRY U FUCKS

 **OrangeFucker** : AHHHHHHHHH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hows it hanging homeskillets 
> 
> sOO oo i wrote things, both are tsukkiyama cos i have a problem nd idk one is rly pretentious nd kind of sad and the other is p memeish but there is my shameless plugin
> 
> go read it and give me FEEDBACK theyre called the petals that fall from your lips nd yamayama@gmail.com
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO if any of yall are also readin gmy yoi fic i havent updated it in forever bc school nd ive been hecka into haikyuu nd SO FAR UP YAMAGUCHIS ASS so i plan to post an update either today or tomorrow eheruiehre
> 
> and if you guys like reading my cheeky lil notes nd want more of my shitty personality follow my instagram im constantly spamming there (my @ is antifckboi how original) 
> 
>  
> 
> \--Leah (wow its my name u know who i AM)


	8. kageyama tobio - the worlds rarest blueberry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **kindamnichi** : hinata has ginger hair
> 
>  **OrangeFucker** : dont
> 
>  **BlueberryFucker** : I KNOW
> 
>  **BlueberryFucker** : AND IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE
> 
>  **BlueberryFucker** : i talked to his mom, we went t hree generations back
> 
>  **BlueberryFucker** : and hes not adopted like he and his sister are practically twins and shouyou literalyl remembers his mom being pregnant with her so
> 
>  **BlueberryFucker** : this RUINED my life for two weeks
> 
>  **OrangeFucker** : kindaichi what have you done
> 
>  **kindamnichi** : im sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I panicked when I had to name another yamapet and I just finished reviewing for a French test i.e. his goat is named Croque-Misure. 
> 
> Also whee ooo whee ooo soft-core porn for anyone that is not the okay w that stuff, the only written part p much but it's just making-out and a hj.., Nothing rly there that you technically _need_ but I'm always a slut for TsukkiYama makeout scenes ~~probably because you're living vicariously through them you pathetic piece of shit~~. If u wanna skip just miss the gay shit by skipping from "'if you're up for it'" to p much the end ?? There is conversation w Yachi nd Tsukki but like bear w me rn it get angsty next chapter THE SHOW BEGINS

**yamagucci** : guess what i just found out

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Do your homework

 **yamagucci** : it's done u fuck

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : mhmm

 **kunimeme** : what did you find out?

 **yamagucci** : with japanese people, there is only like .7% chance of blue eyes

 **BlueberryFucker** : i have blue eyes

 **kindamnichi** : hot damn

 **kunimeme** : wild

 **shippingtrash** : do your parents have blue eyes ? or any relatives

 **BlueberryFucker** : not from what i could tell

 **shippingtrash** : ur just special

 **shippingtrash** : a rare blueberry

 **kunimeme** : kageyama tobio - the worlds rarest blueberry

 **OrangeFucker** : the bluest blueberry to ever blue

 **shippingtrash** : all hail the blueberry

 **yamagucci** : y'all bout to start a mf religion

 **BlueberryFucker** : before you guys start building shrines

 **BlueberryFucker** : ya got me thinking about genetics

 **BlueberryFucker** : tsukishima do you dye your hair?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : No

 **BlueberryFucker** : yachi?

 **shippingtrash** : no, but my dads mom is german. i get my blonde hair from her

 **yamagucci** : akiteru has blond hair too

 **kunimeme** : who?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : My brother

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I think i have like a polish great aunt

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Distantly related. I ain't no whitie

 **shippingtrash** : HA

 **kindamnichi** : hinata has ginger hair

 **OrangeFucker** : dont

 **BlueberryFucker** : I KNOW

 **BlueberryFucker** : AND IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE

 **BlueberryFucker** : i talked to his mom, we went t hree generations back

 **BlueberryFucker** : and hes not adopted because he and his sister are practically twins and shouyou literalyl remembers his mom being pregnant with her so

 **BlueberryFucker** : this RUINED my life for two weeks

 **OrangeFucker** : kindaichi what have you done

 **kindamnichi** : im sorry

 **OrangeFucker** : tobio im sorry i dont know where i get my hair from m

 **OrangeFucker** : or natsu, for that matter

 **BlueberryFucker** : tjis just

 **BlueberryFucker** : stressed me out

 **kunimeme** : you seem stressed out

 **BlueberryFucker** : is it because shouyou is the sun

 **BlueberryFucker** : the universe just went "mhmm the sun needs orange hair fuck genetics"

 **OrangeFucker** : im flattered

 **BlueberryFucker** : this bothers me what kind of LOGIC

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : This is so amusing

 **BlueberryFucker** : tsukishima how does this not bother you

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I've just learned to accept it

 **yamagucci** : the first thing tsukki said to me when we first met you was "why does the short one look white"

 **shippingtrash** : jshjshjsh

 **kunimeme** : i mean

 **kunimeme** : same

 **OrangeFucker** : tsukishima ur pale asf and you have blond hair you look whiter than me go away

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Ouch

 **kindamnichi** : akira asked me the same thing

 **kindamnichi** : accept he said "the orange one kageyama is in love with"

 **BlueberryFucker** : wait

 **BlueberryFucker** : when you first met shouyou

 **BlueberryFucker** : we kind of

 **OrangeFucker** : hated each other

 **kunimeme** : that just goes to show that kagehina was written in the stars

 **shippingtrash** : PREACH

 **shippingtrash** : kagehina (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 **BlueberryFucker** : what the fuck is that

 **shippngtrash** : emoji

 **BlueberryFucker** : that will haunt my nightmares

 **OrangeFucker** : (≧ω≦)

 **BlueberryFucker** : shouyou *please*

 **OrangeFucker** : (=゜ω゜)

 **BlueberryFucker** : why

 **kunimeme** : ‘︿’

 **kindamnichi** : (•⊙ω⊙•)

 **BlueberryFucker** : tsukishima help me control our children

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : (´ー｀)

 **BlueberryFucker** : wow

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I like the emojis, they're fun

 **BlueberryFucker** : i expected better

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Just because I hate most things, doesn't mean I can't appreciate the smaller things in life

 **BlueberryFucker** : im just disappointed

 **BlueberryFucker** : disappointment

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Don't hold high expectations for me, you'll just get sad

 **BlueberryFucker** : thanks for the heads up

 **yamagucci** : (◡‿◡✿)

 **yamagucci** : (◕‿◕✿) what did you say to tsukki

 **yamagucci** : (◕‿◕)/✿ hold my flower

 **OrangeFucker** : omfg

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : (-＿- )ノ✿ I've got your flower

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Kick his ass, Yamaguchi

 **shippingtrash** : fight fight fight

 **kunimeme** : ill just wait for kagehina to double team them

 **shippingtrash** : what a sight that would be

 **kunimeme** : one day

 **kunimeme** : operation - kagehina

 **OrangeFucker** : (´ヘ｀;)

 **kunimeme** : what?

 **OrangeFucker** : nothing its just

 **kunimeme** : are we making you uncomfortable?

 **OrangeFucker** : mmm just a smidge

 **kindamnichi** : wait a minute

 **kindamnichi** : nvm

 **OrangeFucker** : heh okay

 **yamagucci** : ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ) hey tsukki

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : FOR FUCK

 

\----------

 

 **kindamnichi** : i thought you had the gay feelings for hinata

 **kunimeme** : yeah he does?

 **BlueberryFucker** : i do btu shouyou doesnt know that?

 **BlueberryFucker** : ik how to control my gay feelings

 **shippingtrash** : ^ why you arent getting any hina dick

 **kindamnichi** : HA

 **BlueberryFucker** : the fact that hes uncomfortable with even joking around about dating me isnt very good??

 **shippingtrash** : WAIT NO i know why he was doing that

 **kunimeme** : ooo

 **shippingtrash** : so okay today during lunch

 **shippingtrash** : kags and hinata come to my classroom for studying help right and like kags was late

 **BlueberryFucker** : ohmygod is this

 **shippingtrash** : yes

 **BlueberryFucker** : ohmygodd

 **kunimeme** : tell us tell us

 **shippingtrash** : so hinata and i decide to go look for him and we look out this window and see kags in the courtyard, and im thinking 'ya hes getting a milk'

 **BlueberryFucker** : i had been trying to

 **shippingtrash** : but as it turns out

 **kindamnichi** : im on the edge of my seat

 **shippingtrash** : he was getting CONFESSED TO

 **kunimeme** : OMG

 **BlueberryFucker** : it was this girl in my class that like 'the stoic, mysterious' look in my 'dark, ocean blue eyes'

 **shippingtrash** : she was cute but like chill lmao they never even held a conversation

 **shippingtrash** : but !!! so hinata and i r Watching and then he goes "why is she doing that?" and im like "probably bc she likes him?? kags is a lil popular w the ladies" like fr we would talk to each other when we pass by in the halls and suddenly im surrounded by The Ladies, asking if i can get them his email lmao waht nerdss

 **kunimeme** : youre salty they dont want yours

 **shippingtrash** : just a lil

 **shippingtrash** : ok so then hinata is like "ohhh" and i TEASINGLY poke fun like "lol hed turn them down anyways !! nothing to worry about my sweet summer child!!" and then i look at him and hinata is BRIGHT RED and im like "OOOH SHIT"

 **shippingtrash** : AND HES LIKE "wahT" and im like "ur v red like u look like ur on fire ffs omg u have a CRUSH" na d he goes

 **shippingtrash** : "is it really that obvious"

 **kunimeme** : OHYMGOD

 **shippingtrash** : AND I GO 'lmao not to kags hes hopeless' noah fence

 **shippingtrash** : AND HINATA GOES "jus t drop it please" and WELL he become a bumbling mess when his crush on kags is brought up SO im assuming thats why he wanted u guys to stop talking about it

 **kunimeme** : kageyama this is note worthy, what is your reaction

 **kindamnichi** : kageyama?

 **BlueberryFucker** : sorry i just need

 **BlueberryFucker** : to compose

 **BlueberryFucker** : shouyou

 **BlueberryFucker** : likes me

 **shippingtrash** : YEAH

 **kindamnichi** : to everyone's surprise

 **kunimeme** : yuutarou

 **kindamnichi** : IM JOKING

 **kindamnichi** : ITS BANTER

 **shippingtrash** : sic bants m8

 **BlueberryFucker** : i think im gonna do it

 **BlueberryFucker** : saturday. im gonna tell him

 **shippingtrash** : EHHHHH

 **kindamnichi** : heck yeah my otp

 **kindamnichi** : just kidding my otp is tsukkiyama

 **kindamnichi** : kageyama i need you to divorce tsukishima

 **BlueberryFucker** : we aren't MARRIED

 **BlueberryFucker** : we just share custody over some of the children

 **kindamnichi** : MHMMM

 

\----------

 

 **yamagucci** : and shortly after croque-misure died, i got apple

 **OrangeFucker** : that was like the saddest story ive ever heard

 **yamagucci** : try LIVING THROUGH IT

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I miss Croque-Misure

 **yamagucci** : i do too tsukki

 **yamagucci** : fuck hinata why did you have to ask

 **yamagucci** : you've reopened old wounds i

 **OrangeFucker** : im sorry

 **OrangeFucker** : he sounds great

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : He was

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : The best God damn goat

 **kunimeme** : what

 **kindamnichi** : apparently yamaguchi had a pet goat 

 **OrangeFucker** : the story is so SAD

 **shippingtrash** : wait so you had a goat

 **BlueberryFucker** : named croque-misure?

 **BlueberryFucker** : waht the fuck even is a croque-misure?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It's a French thing. Basically grilled ham and cheese

 **shippingtrash** : why do you two

 **shippingtrash** : know this?

 **yamagucci** : i'm not really sure

 **kunimeme** : what happened to the goat?

 **kunimeme** : okay i seriously cant get over it, you had a goat?

 **yamagucci** : yes, i had a pet pygmy goat that i named croque-misure. i had him for like five years and he was the most PRECIOUS BES T GOD DAMN GOAT I LOVED HIM when he died i cried for four days and tsukki cried for a week

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Don't tell them that wtf

 **shippingtrash** : how did he die?

 **yamagucci** : don't make me relive it

 **yamagucci** : tsukki and i were playing in my front yard

 **yamagucci** : he came out the goat-door

 **BlueberryFucker** : goat-door

 **yamagucci** : shut up, i know

 **yamagucci** : we didn't see th ecar coming

 **yamagucci** : MY NEIGHBORS DIDN'T STOP

 **yamagucci** : i still hate them with all of my being

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : They didn't know

 **yamagucci** : T HEY NEVER APOLOGIZED

 **shippingtrash** : wtf they killed ur goat ??

 **yamagucci** : I KNOW I AM FUMING

 **kunimeme** : ill kill them

 **kindamnichi** : akira youll go to prison

 **kunimeme** : i know a guy

 **yamagucci** : i miss croque-misure so much

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You seem really sad

 **yamagucci** : i'm kinda sad

 **yamagucci** : come over and make me not sad

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Okay

 **shippingtrash** : SHIP

 

\----------

 

Kei arrived at the Yamaguchi household in ten minutes, walking four streets and two houses over. He gave his mother warning, offering a short, "I'm going to Yamaguchi's." Before heading out the door, his mother calling after him, asking if his homework were done. He shouted back that it was.

Tadashi's Mother is who answered the door, she stepped to the left and smiled. "Pardon the intrusion." Kei said, his shoes already kicked off.

"Spending the night?" She asked. "It's awfully late, Kei-Kun. We don't mind you staying."

Kei shrugged. "If you don't mind, but it depends if Yamaguchi gets sick of me." He teased. She laughed.

"I don't think that's possible." She commented.

"Mom!" Tadashi were standing in the doorway of the living room, watching the events unfold. "Don't just-- Jesus..."

She laughed again. "I'm just teasing. I'm sure you'll wake up tomorrow and _hate_ each other." She said, sarcasm soaking her words.

Kei crossed the room and was joined at Tadashi's side. "We'll be in my room." Tadashi said.

"Don't stay up too late." Was all she said in reply.

 

One right, short walk up the hallway, second door on the left. Kei could probably walk through this house blindfolded and still find his way to Tadashi's bedroom.

 

They were sitting on Tadashi's bed, chimes from Tadashi's phone on his bedside table from their friends rapid texts, music playing. "Are you _really_ all that torn up over _Croque-Misure_?" Kei asked.

Tadashi laughed lightly and shrugged. "I mean, I guess not." He paused. "I just kind of wanted to see you." Tadashi faced front, but his eyes jumped to Kei's.

"Do you... Are you asking to- Yamaguchi--" Tadashi pressed a hand to Kei's shoulder.

"If you're up for it."

Kei put a hand against Tadashi's waist, pushing against him. A signal for him to move, to slide onto Kei's lap. Tadashi followed through with the wordless instructions, his lower lip sucked in-between his teeth, eyes trained down to Kei's. He kissed him.

Hips squarely pressed to each other, heat pooling in their stomachs. _This isn't what friends do_ , Tadashi opened his mouth, just a little, letting Kei slip his tongue in _._

Tadashi slid his hands from Kei's shoulders downwards, pressing into his front. It was _different_ , different from middle school, different from those few nights ago. Then, in middle school, that was inexperience and confusion, the other night had been hot and rushed, but now.

Now it was slow, it was gentle and good. It was so _good_.

Kei let his hands move down even more, from Tadashi's waist, to his hips, then finally, grabbing a handful of his ass. A sudden gasp from Tadashi. Good. It was so _good_.

Kei _liked_ this, he liked it so much. He liked the pressed he felt against his abdomen, from Tadashi's hard-on. He liked feeling his dick pressed against Tadashi's thigh, his fingers digging into Tadashi's bottom, the warm mouth on his. _Tadashi_.

Suddenly, it felt so new to Kei. Kissing, making-out, these were things Kei's done before. Things he was good at, experienced in. Hell, he's done much more than kissing and yet, something inside of him was excited and terrified. Kei was positive it was just because of Tadashi, Tadashi was almost uncharted territory now, what happened in middle school - it felt like it almost didn't count. To have messy, confused kissed that lasted a second versus now.

Humming against Kei's lips, Tadashi pushed against him more, their chests lined up. Rocked his hips, Tadashi made a few failed attempts at speaking - all some variation of Kei's name. He went back in to kiss Kei again, this time, his head tilted to the left and let a hand go up Kei's shirt.

 _More. More. More._ Kei pressed a leg back, shifting their weights. In a sudden, quick movement, he'd successfully flipped Tadashi and his positions. Tadashi spread out across the bed and Kei, with two hands on either side and a leg pressed flesh up against Tadashi's groin before bending down to kiss him again, the sound Tadashi let out - only to be swallowed up by Kei - was nearly enough to get Kei to cum in his pants right then and there.

And then Kei started to grind his hips, just in the slightest, but Tadashi nearly stopped breathing. " _Tsukki_." He finally managed. "Tsukki, please." He _begged_. Kei had to wonder, _what exactly was he_ begging _for?_

His cock _ached_. Would it be crossing a line if he asked Tadashi to touch him, he wanted to be touched by Tadashi, so badly. "Yam- Yamaguc--" He couldn't get out his whole name. His sentence faltered. "'Dashi," He gasped. " _Tadashi_ ," His request burned on his tongue. 

"S'okay." Tadashi groaned, his hand pressed to the front of Kei's jeans. "S'okay." He repeated.

Kei scrambled to return the favor, nearly loosing his hold over hovering over Tadashi, when Tadashi's hand _moved_. _Fuck_. His finger's were rubbing against the tip and underside of his penis, while his palm rubbed the topside.

Kei took a different approach, he took hold of Tadashi's dick and, rubbing the tip through his pants and boxers, bent down to press an open mouthed kiss to Tadashi's neck. Kei wasn't even sure what his hand was doing anymore, just groping at Tadashi's crotch, but the sounds Tadashi was making told Kei that it was good no matter.

Kei's fingers found Tadashi's waistband, fuck it, he thought. His hand slipped inside. "S'this okay?"

" _Kei_ ~" Tadashi _moaned_. He literally moaned out Kei's name, which was quite possibly the _hottest_ thing he's ever heard. " _Please_." 

Kei's fingers wrapped around Tadashi's cock and just as he started to pump and the pad of thumb swiped over the head of Tadashi's penis, smearing the pre-cum collected there, he came. Fast and loudly. Kei had to pressed another hard kiss to his lips to make sure he was quiet.

Tadashi was breathing hard and he looked up to Kei. "You didn't..."

"I did. Trust me, I- I did." Kei's face was flushed. "God."

"Yeah..."

"And I thought I was coming over to help you cope over a dead pet."

Tadashi smiled and leaned up to press a solid kiss to Kei's sweaty jawline, his eye lids fluttered and Kei let him sleep. 

 

\----------

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yachi help I think I fucked up

 **shippingtrash** : omg waht happened

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I made out with Yamaguchi

 **shippingtrash** : yea he told you two did the other night

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : And I gave him a handjob

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : And I

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I don't know what to do

 **shippingtrash** : is it like awkward now??

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Well I cracked a joke like as soon as we... Finished, and he thought it was funny and kissed my cheek then went to bed

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It was just, we were so casual and comfortable after-wards

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We ended it originally for a reason

 **shippingtrash** : why is that?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I thought it would become messy and wreck our friendship

 **shippingtrash** :ok and bc you gave him an hj you think you crossed a line?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yeah

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I don't know what to do

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I like being with him like that but

 **shippingtrash** : you just havent developed romantic feelings for him?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Even if I did, he wouldn't feel anything for me

 **shippingtrash** : but hes all for making out with you and stuff

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yeah, and I'm going to be honest and if you breath a word I swear to God, I'm dtf Kageyama and Daichi, but I don't want to date him

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi has said he thinks I'm hot, that's reason enough to wanna fuck with someone

 **shippingtrash** : mmm

 **shippingtrash** : look if things progress in a way ur not comfortable with then put a stop to it !! it might hurt yamaguchi initially, but explaining urself will help and hell understand and find a new boy/girl toy. which ever comes first ig

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I guess we'll see then

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Wish me luck

 **shippingtrash** : luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes I never write smut sorry this was really bad ?? I try though love u


	9. whats a canada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **shippingtrash** : im crying
> 
>  **Oikawaii** : Because Iwa-chan and I aren't dating?
> 
>  **shippingtrash** : yes
> 
>  **Hajime** : well darn
> 
>  **shippingtrash** : ruined my life crushed my dreams etc
> 
>  **Hajime** : i kind of feel bad now?
> 
>  **shippingtrash** : i'm just a crying lesbian
> 
>  **BlueberryFucker** : relatable
> 
>  **OrangeFucker** : tobio you arent a lesbian
> 
>  **BlueberryFucker** : im still a Gay
> 
>  **Oikawaii** : I knew it
> 
>  **BlueberryFucker** : wasnt keeping it a secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i owed u guys a long one bc its been forever ive been busy w school none of fics have been touched sob
> 
> but yea i meant to post this yesterday but celebrations of me getting a year closer to death yknow 
> 
> oh yeah it was my birthday yesterday btw im 17 now lmao

**yamagucci** : nyoom our way home

 **kunimeme** : IT'S WEDNESDAY MY DUDES

 **yamagucci** : happy wednesday

 **OrangeFucker** : its WEDNESDAY

 **yamagucci** : thats been clarified hinata

 **OrangeFucker** : we are going to all see each other in three days now!!

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I literally saw you fifteen minutes ago

 **OrangeFucker** : YEAH BUT

 **kunimeme** : hinata is excited for saturday

 **kunimeme** : eh kageyama?

 **shippingtrash** : yeah kags

 **shippingtrash** : (σ ͜ʖσ)

 **kunimeme** : (σ ͜ʖσ)

 **yamagucci** : (σ ͜ʖσ)

 **yamagucci** : i dont get it why are  we doing this

 **OrangeFucker** : im not sure

 **yamagucci** : tsukki is in the bathroom i think hes just hiding from strawberry lmao

 **OrangeFucker** : i thought you said she just kind of ignores him?

 **yamagucci** : he stepped on her tail

 **yamagucci** : she must now slaughter him

 **shippingtrash** : tsukishima is at ur house rn yes?

 **yamagucci** : yeah?

 **shippingtrash** : oho

 **shippingtrash** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **yamagucci** : yachi no omg nothing is gonna happened chill

 **shippingtrash** : o rly

 **yamagucci** : yeah ha id tell you guys lol

 **OrangeFucker** : youre a really horrible liar but ok

 **yamagucci** : ok but nothing will happen haha

 **kindamnichi** : RUN

 **kunimeme** : oh hey where did you go

 **kunimeme** : u left me in the clubroom all by my lonesome

 **kunimeme** : i could of blown you after practice B(

 **kindamnichi** : as tempting as that is RUN

 **OrangeFucker** : why?

 **kindamnichi** : OIKAWA IS COMING

 **BlueberryFucker** : WHY

 **kindamnichi** : HE ASKED WHO I WAS TEXTING

 **shippingtrash** : 'oh yeah senpai its a group chat that includes that one first year youre insanely jealous of for some fuck all reason :)'

 **kindamnichi** : I TRIED TO TELL HIM THAT I WAS JUST TALKING TO AKIRA BUTTHEN HE TEASED THAT WE WERE SEXTING

 **kunimeme** : to be fair, he probably would have been right

 **kindamnichi** : IWAIZUMI-SENPAI WAS WALKING BY AND I DIDNT WANT HIM TO THINK BAD OF ME

 **kunimeme** : my boyfriend has a crush on our senpai

 **shippingtrash** : oh shit

 **kindamnichi** : SO I SAID IT WAS A GROUP WITH THE KARASUNO FIRST YEARS HES CHASING ME

 **OrangeFucker** : omg

 **kindamnichi** : HE Lp ME AKIRA

 **kunimeme** : where are you wtf

 **kindamnichi** : ARE OYU IN THE CLUBROOM

 **kunimeme** : yes

 **kindamnichi** : IPEN THE DOORS IN FIVE HES GAINIGN OT NYME

 **kunimeme** : um ok

 **shippingtrash** : your coach must love you guys

 **kunimeme** : the man's a trooper ill tell ya

 **kindamnichi** : Yahoo

 **kunimeme** : yuutarou never made it

 **kunimeme** : oikawa what did you do

 **kindamnichi** : Relax, your boyfriend is fine

 **kindamnichi** : He is ashamed that I caught him

 

_kindamnichi has sent an image_

 

 **kindamnichi** : He's sulking

 **kindamnichi** : Now, where's Tobio-chan?

 **kindamnichi** : I AM NOT JEALOUS OF TOBIO-CHAN! WHO SAID THAT?

 **shippingtrash** : oh no

 **kindamnichi** : Who are you?

 **shippingtrash** : ur worst nightmare

 **OrangeFucker** : one of our managers

 **kindamnichi** : Orange Fucker?

 **OrangeFucker** : im hinata shouyou

 **kindamnichi** : Chibi-chan!

 **OrangeFucker** : that would be me...

 **kindamnichi** : That name suits you

 **kindamnichi** : Chibi. Tiny and cute.

 **BlueberryFucker** : thats enough

 **yamagucci** : tfw u flirt w his bf to get his attention

 **kindamnichi** : Blueberry Fucker? How fitting for you, Tobio-chan

 **shippingtrash** : oh shit

 **BlueberryFucker** : what do you want oikawa

 **yamagucci** : i'd guess he wants to ruin your life, kageyama

 **kindamnichi** : Oh, who's Yamagucci

 **yamagucci** : my name is yamaguchi

 **yamagucci** : i'm real gucci

 **kindamnichi** : Oh you're the cute, freckled one that tried to do the jump float

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm real Versace

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Oikawa is here? Wtf the fuck?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'll kick your ass

 **kunimeme** : tfw he flirts w ur bf so u gotta fight him

 **OrangeFucker** : you were just hiding from a cat

 **OrangeFucker** : fuck up

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Strawberry is literally Satan

 **kindamnichi** : A Satan cat is named Strawberry and Glasses-chan is here

 **kindamnichi** : I'm adding my skype and Iwa-chan brb

 **BlueberryFucker** : wtf no

 **BlueberryFucker** : iwaizumi is cool but ew not you

 **kindamnichi** : Wow

 

 **kindamnichi** has added **Hajime** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **kindamnichi** has added **Oikawaii to Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **kindamnichi** : Iwa-chan has such a boring Skype name

 **kindamnichi** : Ha Tobio-chan

 **kindamnichi** Oh Kunimi is running towards us

 **shippingtrash** : is kindaichi okay?

 **kindamnichi** : I didn't DO ANYTHING to him

 **kindamnichi** : It's a littketlg

 **yamagucci** : um

 **kunimeme** : i tackled him

 **kunimeme** : aint nobody mess with my man

 **shippingtrash** : fuck it up sis

 **kunimeme** : ayyye

 **kindamnichi** : ngl he actually knocked oikawa flat down

 **Oikawaii** : I was caught off guard

 **BlueberryFucker** : ok but oikawa is like five cm taller how

 **kunimeme** : hes literally only one cm taller but thanks

 **Oikawaii** : 1.3cm :)

 _ **kunimeme** :_ ill tackle you again, senpai

 **kindamnichi** : ill defend your honor akira im six cm taller than our senpai

 **kindamnichi** : IM SEVEN CM TALLER THAN AKIRA

 **kindamnichi** : aw my small boyfriend

 **kindamnichi** : pocket sized akira

 **kunimeme:** babe please

 **Oikawaii:** Iwa-chan, why can't we be cute like that?

 **Hajime** : we arent dating dumbass

 **OrangeFucker** : biggest shock in my entire life

 **OrangeFucker** : mothers are crying

 **Oikawaii** : I

 **shippingtrash** : im crying

 **Oikawaii** : Because Iwa-chan and I aren't dating?

 **shippingtrash** : yes

 **Hajime** : well darn

 **shippingtrash** : ruined my life crushed my dreams etc

 **Hajime** : i kind of feel bad now?

 **shippingtrash** : i'm just a crying lesbian

 **BlueberryFucker** : relatable

 **OrangeFucker** : tobio you arent a lesbian

 **BlueberryFucker** : im still a Gay

 **Oikawaii** : I knew it

 **BlueberryFucker** : wasnt keeping it a secret

 **kunimeme** : oooooooooooh

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I just randomly remembered that the only ships that are canon are KinKuni and Kagehina

 **shippingtrash** : i read that as kink uni bye

 **kunimeme** : HA

 **OrangeFucker** : tobio and i arent dating

 **Oikawaii** : Lowkey though

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : ^^

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You guys are gayer than the actual couple

 **OrangeFucker** : *flashback to every tsukkiyama moment*

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Circumstantial

 **OrangeFucker** : me, now provoked: YOU USED TO MAKEOUT

 **OrangeFucker** : shut your fuck

 **shippingtrash** : shut your quiznak**

 **OrangeFucker** : fuck YEAH

 **Hajime** : don't

 **Oikawaii** : VOLTRON

 **Hajime** : i

 **Oikawaii** : Iwa-chan, you watch Voltron, too, stop shaming me

 **Hajime** : YOU MAKE ME

 **Oikawaii** : YOU SHIP SHIRO AND PIDGE

 **Hajime** : only aged up pidge smh

 **shippingtrash** : ok but a concept

 **shippingtrash** : klance

 **Oikawaii** : OF COURSE I ship Klance

 **Oikawaii** : Do you think I'm some kind of heathen?

 **kindamnichi** : all my friends are heathens 

 **kunimeme** : u fucking emo stop

 **kindamnichi** : wow

 **kindamnichi** : at least i dont trace pictures of dat boi

 **kindamnichi** : fucking stale ass meme

 **kunimeme** : how dare you expose me like this

 **BlueberryFucker** : klance is basically canon you cant convince me otherwise

 **OrangeFucker** : ok but sheith?

 **Hajime** : don't

 **Oikawaii** : THEY'RE LIKE BROTHERS

 **shippingtrash** : DOTN TAKE THIS FROMT ME

 **Hajime** : i headcanon keith as korean am i the only one

 **BlueberryFucker** : wait is that not canon

 **yamagucci** : O K BUT LIKE

 **yamagucci** : IGOT IN AN ARGUMENT W SOMEEON OVER THIS HOLD UP

 **yamagucci** : so i was on tumblr and i reblogged sheith ffanart bc YES?

 **yamagucci** : AND THIS GIRL MESSAGED ME GETTING UP IN MY GRILL ABOUT SHIPPING IT SINCE I AM ALSO SELF PROCLAIMED KLANCE AND SHALLURA TREASH

 **Oikawaii** : THRYE RELATED OR SOMETHING

 **yamagucci** : BUT SHIRO IS JAPANESE

 **yamagucci** : AND IF KEITH IS KOREAN THEN HWO

 **Oikawaii** : THEY HAVE A PAST THEY'RE CLOSE LIKE BROS

 **shippingtrash** : so is iwaoi smh

 **Hajime** : we aren't DATING

 **shippingtrash** : im crying again

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I've never seen Voltron

 **yamagucci** : i know and i hate you every single day because of it

 **yamagucci** : just kidding but wtf

 **Oikawaii** : Treason

 **kindamnichi** : wtf mom why

 **Hajime** : what

 **kindamnichi** : not you different mom

 **Hajime** : you guys can't just force this title on me and then take it away

 **BlueberryFucker** : even ive seen voltron

 **BlueberryFucker** : i randomly get sad about matt

 **OrangeFucker** : ok but same

 **kunimeme** : ME

 **kindamnichi** : HE DOESNT DESERVE WHATS HAPPENED TO HIM

 **OrangeFucker** : i ship matt and shiro bye

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : If it gets spoiled for me I won't watch it

 **yamagucci** : hes 100% serious guys please

 **yamagucci** : he wouldnt watch spn with me because you know who died

 **Oikawaii** : Wait you mean

 **Oikawaii** : Y'know

 **yamagucci** : the super sad SHOCK FACTOR THAT SHOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED death in s10 yeah

 **Oikawaii** : I cried when she died

 **Oikawaii** : Being good at English is both a blessing and a curse because I don't have to wait for translations to come out, but I also cry a lot sooner than others

 **Hajime** : wait you mean

 **Hajime** : y'know

 **Oikawaii** : Yes

 **Hajime** : oh no

 **Hajime** : ok but you saying you cried when someone died doesn't mean that much

 **Oikawaii** : Wow thanks

 **Hajime** : NO I MEAN LIKE

 **Hajime** : you've cried every single time cas died and you always knew he'd come back

 **Oikawaii** : I love Castiel. Fight me

 **Hajime** : i don't trust people that dislike cas

 **Oikawaii** : Season seven is always going to be sad

 **Oikawaii** : You cried when Dean died IN MYSTERY SPOT

 **Hajime** : IT KEPT HAPPENING

 **Hajime** : OVERAND OVER AGAIN

 **kunimeme** : what are they talking about

 **kindamnichi** : no idea

 **Oikawaii** : American tv show

 **Hajime** : it's filmed in canada though

 **kunimeme** : whats a canada

 **kindamnichi** : i think its a breakfast cereal

 **Oikawaii** : You two are spending too much time around Mattsun and Makki

 **Oikawaii** : Nothing will ever compare to season one of Supernatural

 **shippingtrash** : js if you ship wincest im blocking you

 **Hajime** : ew no

 **Oikawaii** : THEY'RE BROTHERS

 **shippingtrash** : and if you neglect sabriel and destiel and sastiel i will die

 **Hajime** : i ship chuck and sam

 **shippingtrash** : fuck yes

 **Oikawaii** : I once dated a girl that shipped Samifer

 **shippingtrash** : i hope you dumped her

 **Oikawaii** : Moments after I discovered, actually

 **Oikawaii** : IT'S ABUSIVE

 **shippingtrash** : i knew this girl and that was like her otp and i tried to ship it bc friend but like just no

 **shippingtrash** : i hate the spn fandom at times

 **shippingtrash** : why i just hide in anime fandoms

 **kunimeme** : me

 **BlueberryFucker** : im still upset over andy gallagher

 **Oikawaii** : Don't

 **Hajime** : ANDY

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Now I can't watch Supernatural either

 **yamagucci** : YOU GUYS TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME

 **Hajime** : i JUST met you

 **yamagucci** : yes and you've ruined my life already

 **yamagucci** : btw oikawa ur not alone i literally cried for three hours, on the phone with tsukki, when he died in s7

 **Oikawaii** : IWA-CHAN INVALIDATED MY EMOTIONS WHEN IT HAPPENED

 **Oikawaii** : THEY WERE PLANNING ON HIM STAYING DEAD BUT VIEWS DROPPED

 **Hajime** : Shhhhh

 **BlueberryFucker** : shouyou wont watch it

 **OrangeFucker** : it has monsters and stuff it will be The Scary

 **shippingtrash** : no just emotionally numbing

 **Hajime** : who are orangefucker and blueberryfucker

 **OrangeFucker** : im hinata shouyou

 **BlueberryFucker** : im the guy that had a really pathetic obvious crush on you in middle school

 **Hajime** : but oikawa is already here

 **shippingtrash** : OOOOOOOO

 **Hajime** : but hey its nice to see you kageyama

 **OrangeFucker** : are you always obvious with your crushes tobio?

 **BlueberryFucker** : from what people have told me, i am 

 **OrangeFucker** : oh

 **Oikawaii** : Lmao Iwa-Chan you WISH I'd had a crush on you

 **Oikawaii** : I was too busy having girlfriendssssss

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Wait

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Oikawa isn't gay?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : This is a genuine question

 **Oikawaii** : i

 **Oikawaii** : NOT THAT IT'S ANY OF YOUR BUSSINESS, but I'm BISEXUAL thank you VERY MUCH

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Oh, okay

 **Oikawaii** : Huh, different reaction from what i expected

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It would be hypocritical to react any other way tbh

 **Oikawaii** : Wait, you're gay?

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : Yes

 **Tsukishimsaurus** : I think we all are, in some way or another

 **shippingtrash** : gay

 **OrangeFucker** : pan

 **yamagucci** : bi

 **kunimeme** : gay

 **kindamnichi** : i like dick ~~akira~~ all i know

 **BlueberryFucker** : demisexual homoromantic

 **shippingtrash** : smh kags gotta b extra

 **BlueberryFucker** : ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **yamagucci** : youve accepted the emojis

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : At long last

 **kunimeme** : you and yamaguchi havent been talking at like all wya

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We've been making out

 **yamagucci** : oh so we're being open about it ok

 **shippingtrash** : SCREAM

 **kindamnichi** : FUCK

 **kindamnichi** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **Hajime** : um

 **kunimeme** : everyone ships them

 **kunimeme** : they're like fwb but we're getting somewhere

 **Hajime** : i see

 **kindamnichi** : tsukkiyama is my otp

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We don't do The Sex, we just makeout because sexual frustration

 **yamagucci** : ^^

 **Oikawaii** : Hang on just a minute

 **Oikawaii** : You type like a normal person?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes, it would seem so

 **Oikawaii** : Iwa-Chan, I'm leaving you

 **Oikawaii** : Glasses-Chan, marry me

 **Hajime** : heck

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : My hand is already promised to Yamaguchi, his father offered four camels and two cows

 **yamagucci** : OH YEAH well there u go

 **Hajime** : hey wait waht the heck

 **Oikawaii** : What?

 **Hajime** : my user isn't boring

 **Oikawaii** : Oh no

 **Hajime** : it's my name. i have a good name

 **Hajime** : IT'S A NICE NAME

 **Hajime** : right?

 **Kindamnichi** : yes yes of course

 **BlueberryFucker** : quality name

 **Hajime** : wow thanks guys

 **Oikawaii** : Oh!! Iwa-Chan, let's having matching users like Tobio-Chan and Chibi-Chan!

 **Hajime** : no

 **Oikawaii** : Pleaseeeee

 **Hajime** : no

 **Oikawaii** : PLEASEEEEE

 **Hajime** : fine

 **Oikawaii** : YAY!!

 

_Oikawaii is now tooru_

 

_Hajime is now Hottiwaizumi_

 

 **tooru** : Oh

 **Hottiwaizumi** : i

 **kunimeme** : he aint lyin

 **Hottiwaizumi** : thanks

 **tooru** : When people type lowercase, I crave death

 **shippingtrash** : we all do tho

 **tooru** : Type in lowercase or crave death?

 **shippingtrash** : yes

 **kunimeme** : yes

 

_tooru is now AlienBoy_

 

_Hottiwaizumi is now GodzillaBoy_

 

 **GodzillaBoy** : i approve of this

 **AlienBoy** : Never ever, ever look me in the eyes and tell me that Iwaizumi Hajime is not the world's biggest fucking dork

 **shippingtrash** : pretty sure no one would tho

 **GodzillaBoy** : you met me like fifteen minutes ago

 **shippingtrash** : your point?

 **yamagucci** : snap

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Iwaizumi never answered the sexuality question from earlier

 **GodzillaBoy** : i am

 **GodzillaBoy** : something

 **GodzillaBoy** : for dang old sure

 **GodzillaBoy** : i don't care for labels whoops

 **kindamnichi** : respected

 **AlienBoy** : Well, that blowjob offer from first year is still up for grabs, if you're ever up to experiment

 **shippingtrash** : OHYMH

 **GodzillaBoy** : you never offered... waht?

 **AlienBoy** : It was IMPLIED

 **kunimeme** : i think u broke my best friend

 **GodzillaBoy** : kindaichi?

 **kunimeme** : no yachi

 **shippingtrash** : ayyyye

 **AlienBoy** : How long have you two known each other?

 **kunimeme** : like a week

 **kunimeme** : we bonded over gay shipping our teammates

 **GodzillaBoy** : the start of all great friendships

 **AlienBoy** : We didn't bond over that

 **GodzillaBoy** : i know

 **AlienBoy** : Why

 **yamagucci** : tsukki and i bonded over volleyball

 **AlienBoy** : Oh, cute

 **yamagucci** : and the fact he saved my life thus i owed him it

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : 

**Tsukishimasaurus** : Us

 **yamagucci** : BASICALLY

 **kunimeme** : tsukishima's a closet memer

 **shippingtrash** : my lifes complete

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : But you know, you don't actually owe me anything. Surprisingly, I kind of just enjoy your friendship

 **shippingtrash** : that was basically a marriage proposal

 **yamagucci** : (n˘v˘•)¬ awe tsukki how soft of you

 **AlienBoy** : At least you're getting his dick

 **AlienBoy** : I hope that isn't soft of him

 **shippingtrash** : JSHSJSJH

 **kindamnichi** : yknow whod love to join

 **GodzillaBoy** : who?

 **kindamnichi** : yahaba

 **AlienBoy** : TRUE

 **kunimeme** : im in a group chat with him adn watari

 **shippingtrash** : watery

 **kunimeme** : im pretty sure i got fucked up one night and the three of us planned how to murder the entire team w/o being caught

 **kindamnichi** : babe please

 **kunimeme** : no wait, we were gonna ask iwaizumi to be in on the plan. our get away driver

 **GodzillaBoy** : i'm flattered. i'll take you up on the offer

 **yamagucci** : what kind of fucked up did oyu get

 **kunimeme** : i

 **kunimeme** : have no idea

 **kindamnichi** : Akira no

 **kunimeme** : like my name instigates, kunimeme has been activated

 **kunimeme** : is that a weed

 **shippingtrash** : knowing you it probably is

 **shippingtrash** : you left your devils lettuce at my house and my mom FOUND IT

 **kunimeme** : WAI T was this The Thing

 **shippingtrash** : YEAH FFJFDSJ

 **AlienBoy** : Um

 **shippingtrash** : CAN I TELL THE STORY

 **kunimeme** : yes thsi makes me laugh everytime

 **kindamnichi** : you guys have known each other a week

 **kindamnichi** : how

 **yamagucci** : magic

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : They defy logic

 **shippingtrash** : Ok so my mom is a bussiness lady person so shes always gone and leaves me money lmao if it werent for my crippling anxiety id b wild

 **shippingtrash** : sO kunimi came over and we were being Classy and drinking wine because yknow

 **shippingtrash** : but then he ruined everythingand was like "SHOTSSHOTSSHOTSSHOTS"

 **kindamnichi** : AKIRA

 **kunimeme** : lov u

 **shippingtrash** : and then hes like "dad look its the good kush" and proceeds to ROLL A BLUNT i n MY HOUSE

 **GodzillaBoy** : i thought i raised you better

 **AlienBoy** : "It's the dollar store, how good can it be?"

 **kunimeme** : I WAS ON THE BALCONY WDJDDJ

 **shippingtrash** : aND EEJFJhe fFUCKING lef t his weed here 

 **shippingtrash** : BUT THATS NOT ALL

 **shippingtrash** : u tell it its so much more funny when u tell it

 **kunimeme** : ok so like

 **kunimeme** : we were pounding shots in yachis room bc yknow

 **shippingtrash** : half way through the night he started crying and talking abt how much he loves kindaichi it was really gay and cute

 **yamagucci** : that's so pure

 **AlienBoy** : I KNEW YOU WERE HUNGOVER AT PRACTICE

 **kunimeme** : HA

 **kunimeme** : but yachi goes "lets play a drinking game" and im like "okay cool"and she wants to play Jjust dance like yachi this will not end well

 **kunimeme** : so we play two round but im like abt to puke so like "lets st o p "

 **kunimeme** : and we took our final shots and we had to hide the cap back in the cabinet

 **yamagucci** : cap?

 **kunimeme** : captain morgan

 **shippingtrash** : ur giving me flashbacks i think im still hungover

 **kunimeme** : but so yachi grabs the bottle and is like "kunimi stand up" and i physically cannot stand

 **GodzillaBoy** : oh my god

 **kunimeme** : so i crawl

 **yamagucci** : this wont end well

 **kunimeme** : and i am like halfway into the the next room, yachi had already hid the cap, whe n her mom came home

 **kunimeme** : and im like "oh shit oh no"

 **kunimeme** : so i stand up and stare blankly at her mom like i havent met her ever before in my entire life

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Oh My GOD

 **kunimeme** : and she's like "who is this?" and yachi is explaining who i am and that im gay af so i wont be up in that

 **kunimeme** : and then her mom looks at me and just goes "its nice to meet you" or smth but im not registering any of this, im like focusing on not collapsing or throwing up or whatever

 **kunimeme** : and yachi and her mom continue to talk when i compeletely interrupt them and just go "i am so tired" because, in my intoxicated state, i assumed that yes of course, she'll never assume anything is wrong if i say im tired. slurring my words, eyes hardly open, wobbling as i stood

 **kunimeme** : and she looks at me. and then she goes "okay. i guess set up the fouton"

 **kunimeme** : and then i smoked another blunt after her mom went to bed and the next mrongin ???/ forgot it there ???

 **shippingtrash** : she CONFRONTED ME

 **shippingtrash** : i told her it was oregano

 **shippingtrash** : she saw through the lie

 **shippingtrash** : and i came home from school the next day, she smoked it

 **GodzillaBoy** : ohymgod

 **kunimeme** : THAT WAS MINE

 **kunimeme** : i am breaking THE LAW to grow that shit in my window box

 **kunimeme** : but i havent been caught yet y'ain't snake me

 **GodzillaBoy** : i dont speak texan

 **AlienBoy** : My own personal Keith Kogane

 **kunimeme** : m not galra tho

 **kunimeme** : wwhere did yuutarou go

 **AlienBoy** : Idk you two left, like, twenty minutes ago

 **kunimeme** : no he went home i mean in the chat

 **shippingtrash** : probs asleep dont worry abt it

 **kunimeme** : mmfmmmfmm

 

\----------

 

 **kunimeme** : babe

 **kunimeme** : babe

 **kunimeme** : babe

 **kindamnichi** : what

 **kunimeme** : u ok u seem sad

 **kindamnichi** : ?? im fine ??

 **kunimeme** : mhmmm

 **kindamnichi** : why do you think im sad

 **kunimeme** : idk when i started telling the story about yachi and i you left and seemed uncomfrotable

 **kunimeme** : is it that?

 **kindamnichi** : no its fine youre having fun with your friend why would i be upset?

 **kunimeme** : yuutarou, please be honest with me

 **kindamnichi** : you know ive never had an issue with you smoking or drinking or anything as long as you were safe and stuff

 **kindamnichi** : and its not like this is about that

 **kindamnichi** : sometimes i get worried that maybe with you and yachi

 **kunimeme** : that we'll suddenly be straight and ill break up with you?

 **kindamnichi** : no

 **kindamnichi** : maybe

 **kindamnichi** : i dont know

 **kindamnichi** : that youll just get bored of me

 **kindamnichi** : you and her are so close and you hit it off so well and you get so happy and excitable with her and i hardly ever get you like that and maybe youll decide that shes just better to be around in general and break up with me period

 **kunimeme** : yuutarou you realize im in love with you right?

 **kunimeme** : like not "i love you!!" like im completely and utterly devoted to you

 **kunimeme** : you are amazing in so many ways and ive never meant to make you feel like i dont love you or that id prefer someone else over you ever

 **kunimeme** : yachi is my friend and i wont apologize for her being that or spending time with her, but i dont think i could ever just leave you

 **kunimeme** : i wont lie. i know that i act differently around the two of you, but you want to know why?

 **kindamnichi** : yes

 **kunimeme** : because im so terrified youre going to see something you dont like

 **kunimeme** : its stupid and ridiculous but your opinion of me matters so much and if i ever lost you in any way

 **kunimeme** : im pretty sure ive been in love with you since i met you

 **kindamnichi** : the whole point of us being together, of us being friends in the first place, is to understand each other and accept each other for it all

 **kindamnichi** : i want to know everything there is to know about you, akira, anything i dont know now. i want to know it all and be able to tell you everything and just love you even more

 **kunimeme** : can i come over?

 **kindamnichi** : yes, please

 

\----------

 

_kunimeme has sent an image_

 

 **kunimeme** : boyfriend house

 **shippingtrash** : YES ship

 **AlienBoy** : I was so happy when they told us they were dating, you don't understand

 **GodzillaBoy** : he had a bet going on with mattsun and makki

 **AlienBoy** : And I won 2000 Yen, bitches

 **kindamnichi** : wow

 **yamagucci** : you had an ongoing bet with your team that i had a threesome with mattsun and hanamaki

 **GodzillaBoy** : but you did

 **yamagucci** : okay yes BUT

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It technically wasn't a threesome

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You blew each other, but like

 **shippingtrash** : what is considered a threesome

 **shippingtrash** : itd be sexual stuff with three people right ?

 **yamagucci** : penetration?

 **shippingtrash** : shit ill never have a threesome

 **kunimeme** : im telling shimizu

 **shippingtrash** : i dare u

 **kunimeme** : ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°

 **shippingtrash** : ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°

 **shippingtrash** : u kno if i were to choose who id think have a threesome out of the group chat

 **BlueberryFucker** : yachi what the fuck

 **shippingtrash** : okok LISTEN

 **shippingtrash** : yams, tsukishima, and li k e

 **shippingtrash** : kunimi

 **kunimeme** : thanks

 **kindamnichi** : akira no

 **kunimeme** : I WOULDNT TAKE THEM UP ON THE OFFER

 **kunimeme** : yuutarou is my main bitch i stay loyal

 **kindamnichi** : thanks babe

 **yamagucci** : yachi y

 **shippingtrash** : ok bc like u and tsukishima already b fucking around and i feel kunimi wuld just bring it up and yall be chill about it

 **AlienBoy** : I don't speak Texan

 **BlueberryFucker** : that joke has already been made

 **AlienBoy** : Fuck off, Tobio-Chan

 **OrangeFucker** : ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ ill fight you

 **AlienBoy** : I'd like to see you try, Chibi-Chan

 **OrangeFucker** : ill jump and smash u into the ground

 **OrangeFucker** : hows my ass taste grand king

 **yamagucci** : OHMYOGD

 **GodzillaBoy** : i like this one

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I hate this fucking family

 **kindamnichi** : youre our mom

 **GodzillaBoy** : i thought i was the mom

 **kunimeme** : tsukishima adopted us sorry

 **GodzillaBoy** : square the heck up tsukishima give me my kids

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Too late, I adopted them all

 **GodzillaBoy** : you come into my home.., you steal my children.., you disrespect my dog.., and u make a mockery of my dreams?? disgustenign. i hope youre happy with youre life choices, you animal. go. get out of my face. just leav.

 **AlienBoy** : Iwa-Chan, I'm getting a divorce. Good luck raising the kids by yourself

 **GodzillaBoy** : i basically have been

 **yamagucci** : im so glad our parents get along

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Parents 2.0. will be ready to murder eachother

 **BlueberryFucker** : im trying here

 **BlueberryFucker** : are you?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : No

 **BlueberryFucker** : ill see u in court, asshole

 **kunimeme** : mom help

 **GodzillaBoy** : ill honest to god fight you for them

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I could probs step on you

 **AlienBoy** : HA

 **GodzillaBoy** : how tall are you?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : 190.1cm

 **AlienBoy** : WHAT

 **GodzillaBoy** : a hecking first year is taller than me

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm taller than everyone

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : It's a blessing and a curse

 **OrangeFucker** : youre not taller than lev

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Lev has the Russians on his side

 **OrangeFucker** : ....right....

 **yamagucci** : the russians are coming

 **shippingtrash** : The Russians™™™

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I hate this family

 **yamagucci** : u already made that joke

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Still true

 **GodzillaBoy** : play nice

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You're not my real mom

 **AlienBoy** : Who is?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Suga

 **AlienBoy** : Mr. Refreshing

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I cannot physically stand the nicknames you've given us all

 **AlienBoy** : Deal with it

 **AlienBoy** : Why is Tobio-Chan going to be Karasuno's next Team Dad?

 **OrangeFucker** : well

 

_OrangeFucker has sent an image_

 

 **OrangeFucker** : he can be dad like

 **kindamnichi** : are you just indirectly calling kageyama daddy?

 **shippingtrash** : OHMYFOD

 **BlueberryFucker** : kindaichis mind goes to dark places

 **BlueberryFucker** : kunimi ur boyfriend is kinky af

 **kunimeme** : dont i know it

 **GodzillaBoy** : um

 **kindamnichi** : NO IF ANYONE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP IS KINKY AF ITS AKIRA FUCK OFF

 **kunimeme** : shit babe u right

 **kindamnichi** : iwaizumi senpai dont look at me

 **GodzillaBoy** : i'm just trying to understand

 **GodzillaBoy** : i don't um

 **GodzillaBoy** : i don't know what kinky means?

 **AlienBoy** : AHAHAHAHAAHAAHAH

 **AlienBoy** : IWA-CHAN HOW PURE

 **GodzillaBoy** : GO AWAY

 **BlueberryFucker** : i have a distinct memory of middle school, in my first year, when oikawa and iwaizumi were my senpais

 **BlueberryFucker** : i was sitting in class, being my usual blueberry-esque self, when two second year girls came up to me and were asking about the vb club 

 **BlueberryFucker** : and one was like "ur senpai? iwaizumi? yeah is he like single??" and i said he wasnt because back off hoe i have a pathetic crush on him

 **GodzillaBoy** : thanks

 **BlueberryFucker** : i was young

 **GodzillaBoy** : no seriously thank you, i have a feeling there is more to this story

 **BlueberryFucker** : ahA there is

 **BlueberryFucker** : when they left the same girl said to her friend and was like "fuck, hes taken. shame, hes dom-af" and i jsut

 **AlienBoy** : AHAAHAH

 **AlienBoy** : M CYRING

 **GodzillaBoy** : what does that MEAN

 **kunimeme** : iwaizumi is an uke headcanon accepted

 **AlienBoy** : PPLEASE IA CNAT BREATH

 **GodzillaBoy** : would this be a bad time to also mention i don't know what a blowjob is either?

 **shippingtrash** : ok i call bullshit on that one

 **GodzillaBoy** : i have a general idea

 **GodzillaBoy** : but like ???

 **kunimeme** : im gonna link him porn

 **kindamnichi** : AKIRA NO

 **kunimeme** : i found a good one

 **GodzillaBoy** : i don't need to know what my kouhai gets off to

 **shippingtrash** : probs just pics of kindaichi

 **kunimeme** : i mean

 **kunimeme** : generally

 **kindamnichi** : lmao thanks babe

 **kunimeme** : https://pornhub.corn/twunk-gets-cum-shot/

 **kunimeme** : :::::::))))))))))

 **shippingtrash** : ive chosen a good egg as my bestie

 **kunimeme** : besties5lyfe

 **shippingtrash** : my bffl

 **kunimeme** : partner in crime

 **shippingtrash** : fave gay

 **kunimeme** : platonic soul mate

 **shippingtrash** : [lets buy these ](https://www.etsy.com/listing/483827927/best-fucking-bitches-hoodie-bff-crewneck?ref=market)

**shippingtrash** : ::::)))))))

 **kunimeme** : i actually want to

 **kunimeme** : wait does it ship to japan??

 **shippingtrash** : m checking

 **shippingtrash** : YES THEY DO

 **kunimeme** : YES

 **kindamnichi** : i am bad at english please help

 **OrangeFucker** : ^^^

 **BlueberryFucker** : ^^^

 **yamagucci** : 最高のクソの雌犬

 **OrangeFucker** : ogm

 **OrangeFucker** : you translated that so fast how

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi is annoyingly good at English

 **BlueberryFucker** : and yet we had to retake our exams

 **yamagucci** : im bad at teaching tsukki nearly threw me out a window once

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Okay, but what we need to focus on, is that I didn't throw you out the window

 **shippingtrash** : who taught you i must meet them

 **yamagucci** : i met a girl whos first language was english and got her to tutor me last year

 **yamagucci** : she was a fuck ass weeb and i paid her in sour gummy worms

 **yamagucci** : she wanted me to teach her about japanese shit lmao

 **shippingtrash** : i hate english if i get better at it maybe i wont hate it as much

 **yamagucci** : you never stop hating that stupid fucking language

 **AlienBoy** : Like for instance, when you lie you're called a liar

 **AlienBoy** : But when you tell the truth, you're not a truther

 **OrangeFucker** : stop please im only young

 **BlueberryFucker** : he used to bring shit up like that in middle school too ill honest to god fucking fight you

 **AlienBoy** : I'd like to see you try

 **BlueberryFucker** : kickball field after school ill steal your fucking lunch money

 **AlienBoy** : You're on punk

 **kunimeme** : how passive aggressive of you two

 **GodzillaBoy** : Oikawa, no

 **kunimeme** : oh youre back

 **kunimeme** : u were gone

 **kunimeme** : quite the while

 **shippingtrash** : someone might think

 **shippingtrash** : you were

 **shippingtrash** : up to something

 **kunimeme** : or something else was up if youre picking up what im putting down

 **shippingtrash** : not that iwaizumi had anything going down

 **kunimeme** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **shippingtrash** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **AlienBoy** : I'm fully convinced Yachi is either Makki and Mattsun in disguise or their long lost daughter

 **shippingtrash** : dads?

 

 **yamagucci** has added **bubblegumbitch** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **yamagucci** has added **mattsin** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **shippingtrash** : dads!

 **mattsin** : Takahiro, you told me you were on the pill

 **bubblegumbitch** : I thought you used a condom

 **yamagucci** : hey u gays

 **yamagucci** : guys**

 **bubblegumbitch** : Who's the one that called us dads

 **bubblegumbitch** : I can't be a father, the pressure is overwhelming

 **shippingtrash** : im yachi hitoka, one of karasunos managers and resident lesbian 

**mattsin** : Aw can we keep her

 **bubblegumbitch** : My wild years aren't over yet, I can't be weighed down by a child

 **shippingtrash** : dad :(

 **BlueberryFucker** : take the fucking child

 **shippingtrash:** team dad :)

 **OrangeFucker** : #teamdadtobio

 **bubblegumbitch** : I'll take the god damn child, Jesus Christ

 **BlueberryFucker** : im flattered but i prefer kageyama

 **yamagucci** : HA

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Kageyama, are you implying you're Jesus Christ?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : MY ALMIGHTLY LORD

 **yamagucci** : tsukki please

 **mattsin** : Omg this is Tsukki?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Don't call me Tsukki

 **mattsin** : But Yamaguchi just did

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes

 **shippingtrash** : GAY

 **kunimeme** : OH HEY SPEAKING OF GAY

 **kunimeme** : shimizu. i need updates.

 **shippingtrash** : omg ummmmmmm

 **shippingtrash** : i do n t even know

 **shippingtrash** : tfw no gf

 **bubblegumbitch** : Okay wait, you have a crush on the other Karasuno manager?

 **shippingtrash** : yes haev u seen her im gay

 **bubblegumbitch** : WAIT ARE YOU THE TINY BLONDE CHILD

 **shippingtrash** : when have u ever seen me

 **shippingtrash** : i

 **kunimeme** : oh he and matsukawa saw us getting froyo

 **mattsin** : WAIT IS SHE THE ONES WHOS MOM FOUND YOU DRUNK

 **shippingtrash** : yes

 **bubblegumbitch** : I'm so glad we've adopted her

 **mattsin** : Me too

 **shippingtrash** : YES DADS

 **OrangeFucker** : were loosing yachi to seijio god damn

 **BlueberryFucker** : we still have shimizu, yachi cant escape

 **AlienBoy** : HOW DID THEY HEAR THE DRUNK STORY BEFORE IWA-CHAN AND I

 **mattsin** : Oh God, you're here

 **mattsin** : i kid, I kid

 **AlienBoy** : mhmmmmmmmmm

 **kunimeme** : anyways, you two came just as we were about to begin explaining what kinks are to iwaizumi

 **mattsin** : HA

 **bubblegumbitch** : How did he not know?

 **bubblegumbitch** : Iwaizumi ?

 **GodzillaBoy** : i don't have to explain myself to you people

 **shippingtrash** : he only just found out what a blow job is

 **GodzillaBoy** : NO okay it was more like

 **GodzillaBoy** : a refined deinition

 **GodzillaBoy** : i had a general idea

 **mattsin** : I just

 **mattsin** : With as much time as you spend with Takahiro and I, really?

 **kindamnichi** : its shocking

 **GodzillaBoy** : i love my mother too much to ruin my innocence

 **yamagucci** : are you implying we don't love our moms?

 **shippingtrash** : my mom is 50/50 on being a good human. she has her moments

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Wait, hold the fuck up

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : One, Yachi, I'm your mom. The lady that birthed you doesn't count if she is not Quality 

**shippingtrash** : right of course sorry

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Second of all, it's, like, almost one. Everyone go to sleep

 **yamagucci** : no

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'll shove you into the God Damn closet

 **BlueberryFucker:** this is like the third sleepover they've had this week do you not have your own respective homes?

 **yamagucci** : youve caught us tsukki is actually my basement twin

 **shippingtrash** : tsoot

 **yamagucci** : i really neend to ogo to sleep im pissing myselk YAchi fukc

 **yamagucci** : TSOOT

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I can hear you laughing in your room, I'm coming after you

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Go the fuck to sleep, Yamaguchi

 **yamagucci** : NNO TSOOT

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm too fucking old for this

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm going to sleep, Iwaizumi, if you want to prove you're worthy of having custody over the children, you round them up

 **bubblegumbitch** : But he still doesn't know what kinks are

 **GodzillaBoy** : i think i'll live

 **GodzillaBoy** : now go the heck to sleep

 **AlienBoy** : No, I do what I want

 **GodzillaBoy** : Tooru.

 **AlienBoy** : Oh fuck nope sorry going to bed

 **kunimeme** : ohymgod

 **shippingtrash** : IWAOI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i headcanon that iwaizumi doenst seriously curse 'cept to call oikawa a dumbass and he lowkey pure asf am i the only one that desperately wants flustered uke awkward iwaizumi or 
> 
>  
> 
> lmao funfact: kunimi and yachis drunk story is based off of a new years party w my friends. i was kunimi in this scenario, save i didnt have the good kush but two other girls did lmao my friend's grandmother found it and smoked it i


	10. C R EA MYBOy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Tsukishimasaurus** : This is why I'm not giving anyone my Instagram
> 
>  **yamagucci** : i have ur hhecking ig
> 
>  **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi, no
> 
>  **yamagucci** : it's so like 
> 
> **yamagucci** : tumblr nerd aesthetic
> 
>  **yamagucci** : it's @tsukkei he has like 21k 
> 
> **Tsukishimasaurus** : Unfollowing
> 
>  **yamagucci** : jokes on u i still have 59,363 followers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRSTLY my phone was stolen and i was traumatized and then i got it back and like three days later my mom took it AND my laptop so th i s is probs late aha sorry lov u this is has angst and memes and CREAMYBOY

The first thing Kei finds himself aware of is the weight on top of him. Pressure atop his pelvis and stomach. The second are the wandering hands which trace shapes on his front. "Yamaguchi," He hums. "What are you doing?"

"School's been cancelled." Hushes Tadashi. "Really badly storming. Flood warning." Kei's eyes opened, jumping to Tadashi's bedroom window. Heavy rain was pounding on the window, screaming to be let inside. He looked back to the boy straddling him. "It didn't start until my parents already left for work, then the school called." 

"Oh?" Kei shifted slightly, his hips laying flat on the mattress. 

"'Dunno if they'll be back anytime soon. They might be stuck until the rain passes." Tadashi's wandering hands leave Kei's chest and make their way to his loose collared shirt. Tadashi's fingers traced his collarbone, lightly moving his fingers against the exposed skin.

Kei's own hand slid up towards Tadashi's thigh, his fingers curling inwards, nails digging slightly into the clothed flesh. His eyes found Tadashi's again, they were heavy and his face was settled into what could be described as a pout. "Tsukki, kiss me." He whispers. His request had broken a minute long silence that settled between the two. Kei moved to fulfill what Tadashi had asked of him. 

Quick fumbling of arms and legs, they were both sat up on their knees. Kei leaned down just so to press his lips to Tadashi's warm mouth. His lips were dry and soft; completely addictive, as well.

Kei's hands rested on Tadashi's waist, while the other's fingers tangled in Kei's hair. Soft groans escaped Tadashi, as he pushed more into Kei. With the drumming sound of rain on the windows and dancing on the roof, they were in their own world. They had all the time they needed, in their own bubble where there was nothing to worry about. Kei didn't have to call his mother and ask if he could spend another day at Tadashi's since school was out, they didn't have to do _anything_ that morning. They were allowed to just touch and kiss, it was all Kei could possibly want.

Kei's hand lightly brushed against Tadashi's flesh and held onto his waist tighter. He stopped for a breath, his thoughts catching up to him. Kei looked back to Tadashi, with his swollen lips and heavy breathing. He was beautiful.

 _I love you_ , Kei thought suddenly. And suddenly, his heart dropped into his stomach.

 _No_. He thinks, _no, this isn't going to happen._

Tadashi leaned in to kiss Kei again, but he made a sudden move away from Tadashi. "Er-" Kei started.

"Tsukki, is something wrong?" He asks.

Kei swallowed down a lump in his throat. "I don't-" He focused on a patch of carpeting. Kei could not look at Tadashi in this moment.

And, instantaneously, Tadashi understood what was going on. This had happened before. "You want... _This_ to end, no more..." Words, in this moment, seemed to be failing him.

"Yes." Kei found himself saying. "I mean- I don't know. It will just get... Messy." He said and added seconds after. "Again. It will just get messy, again."

Tadashi sat back, his knees bumping together. "Okay." He said quietly. "Okay, that's fine." He looked back up to Kei, a pleasant smile on his face. "This was never anything serious, it's fine."

"Right." Kei answered. Things were awkward now.

Tadashi stood and walked towards the doorway, speaking to, but not facing, Kei. "I'm gonna start some breakfast. You can wait here." He left, phone in hand and footsteps heavy.

Each of the footsteps matched Kei's breathing, slow and steady.

_Okay._

_Okay, that's fine._

_This was never anything serious, it's fine._

Why did Tadashi's reaction bother him so much?

Kei decided he wasn't going to think about it.

 

\----------

 

 **shippingtrash** : haha bitches i d idnt sleep last night and schools cancelled gods watching out for me

 **kunimeme** : same

 **shippingtrash** : considering i wa s skyping u and kindaichi until abt an hour ago i would think

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yachi, I told you to go to sleep last night. Listen to your mother

 **shippingtrash** : but my dads said it was ok

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Hanamakki and Mattsukawa don't pay me child support, they're irrelevant

 **GodzillaBoy** : harsh

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Is it?

 **GodzillaBoy** : hard to really say

 **bubblegumbitch** : Wow Iwaizumi, fuck you, too

 **mattsin** : Isn't that Oikawa's job?

 **kunimeme** : #ukeiwaizumi

 **GodzillaBoy** : what the heck is an uke

 **kunimeme** : google is your friend 

 **GodzillaBoy** : is it really?

 **AlienBoy** : Iwa-Chan ohmygod

 **AlienBoy** : Do you really want to know what an uke is?

 **GodzillaBoy** : i think?

 **AlienBoy** : It's, like, the submissive partner in sex. While a seme is the dominant half

 **GodzillaBoy** : oh my goodness

 **GodzillaBoy** : half of you guys are virgins how

 **shippingtrash** : doujinshis ayyyyy

 **shippingtrash** : and lots of fanfics

 **shippingtrash** : also im friends w kunimi

 **kunimeme** : tbh i bottom but im pretty dom so like go figure

 **shippingtrash** : power bottom kunimi headcanon accepted 

 **kunimeme** : B)

 **shippingtrash** : ',:)

 **kunimeme** : ( °٢° )

 **shippingtrash** : (*~▽~)

 **BlueberryFucker** : why

 

\----------

 

Tadashi had been told there was no such thing as golden eyes. He was told that golden eyes were something out of a fairy tail, and in reality they would be pale amber.

When he would ask Kei what color his eyes were, he'd reply with the same as everyone else would say, "Amber." And Tadashi held his tongue every time to stop him for correcting him. Because, no matter, Tadashi was certain, they were _gold_.

His fingers gripped the kitchen counter and Tadashi bit back a hiss of a curse. The lump in his throat was painful and his eyes burned. Stung, really.

Currently, a single image that was burning a hole in his head, were those falsely dubbed amber eyes.

_I mean- I don't know. It will just get... Messy._

_Again. It will just get messy, again._

Messy, _again_. This will just get messy, _again_.

Tadashi knew this shouldn't have started up again. He had _been there,_ had he not? He'd watched everything unravel before, from the doctors and prescriptions, the constant anxiety attacks and episodes, the pitiful looks their parents never meant to shoot them.

And now it was only worse. Now it's been _confirmed_ to Tadashi that his feelings for Kei were still there. They'd never _left_ him, the aches in his chest were what he feared, the shortness of breath he had on occasion were signs of pathetic, unrequited love, and his sweaty palms were simply Tadashi having the dumbest fucking _crush_ on his _best friend_. Which, he knew was hopeless and a horrible thing to go and let happen.

And yet, here he was, standing in his kitchen on the verge of crying.

He brought a hand to his mouth and screwed his eyes shut tightly. Tadashi made a few gasps for air, trying to lessen the pain of the lump in his throat. A sudden twitch of muscles, he grabbed hold of a tea cloth and brought it to his mouth. One, two, three wet sobs into the towel. Salty tears dampened his cheeks.

 _Pathetic,_ Tadashi thinks _. So God-Damn pathetic. Get_ over _yourself._ He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and looks to the ceiling light.

 _Tsukki is the only boy that could make my world crash down around me like this,_ finger nails dig into his palm _, The only boy with golden eyes that could make the stars fall out of the sky._

He fiddled with buttons on the coffee maker, waiting for the brew. Tadashi's hand were shaking now, they wouldn't stop. The feeling of Kei's hot mouth pressed against his was still there, his hands pressed against Tadashi's front.

Tadashi decided he wasn't going to think about it.

 

\----------

 

 **kunimeme** : (ΘεΘ;)

 **BlueberryFucker** : please

 **shippingtrash** : (╹ェ╹)

 **OrangeFucker** : (¬‿¬)

 **BlueberryFucker** : shouyou i thought we were friends

 **kindamnichi** : friendzoned 

 **OrangeFucker** : wWE ARE TOBIOBIM SORRY

 **BlueberryFucker** : breaking my heart here

 **yamagucci** : my otp B(

 **shippingtrash** : when kagehina fights, it makes The Yams sad

 **yamagucci** : The Yams™™™™

 **kunimeme** : The Yams IV: The Yammening©

 **kindamnichi** : sometimes i wonder how youre my boyfriend

 **kunimeme** : wow thanks babe 

 **kindamnichi** : nO i mean like 

 **kindamnichi** : youre so cute and funny how did I nab you

 **shippingtrash** : AWWW

 **shippingtrash** : if i werent a vagetarian id date kindaichi aw

 **GodzillaBoy** : what does you being a vegetarian have to do with that?

 **AlienBoy** : Iwa-Chan, re-read

 **GodzillaBoy** : okay now i see it

 **GodzillaBoy** : so yachi followed me on instagram yesterday and naturally i followed her back

 **GodzillaBoy** : she's so tiny and soft looking how

 **OrangeFucker** : all of her posts are like shimizu, kunimi, vb stuff, selfies, or aesthetic shots of her food

 **OrangeFucker** : but then her captions are like *picture of her and kunimi eating burgers* "yes i can eat pussy like that"

 **shippingtrash** : THE SAD THING IS THATS LEGIT ONE OF MY PICS HSHSHSHHS

 **GodzillaBoy** : S M h

 **GodzillaBoy** : all of my pictures are just volleyball practice and selfies

 **shippingtrash** : you look so damn awkward in all of your pictures

 **shippingtrash** : you and kags smile the same way

 **BlueberryFucker** : thanks

 **OrangeFucker** : i like tobios smile SM Hh

 **BlueberryFucker** : thank you

 **AlienBoy** : Oh hey, what's Yamaguchi's Instagram?

 **shippingtrash** : i wasnt aware he had one

 **shippingtrash** : what the fuck follow me

 **yamagucci** : oh it's @tadashi-

 **shippingtrash** : again, follow me @yachinsta

 **BlueberryFucker** : oh shouyou got me to make an instagram

 **shippingtrash** : HINATA IVE BEEN TRYING FOR WEEKS NOW HO W

 **OrangeFucker** : i put my account on private he couldnt peep anymore

 **shippingtrash** : fucking gay

 **OrangeFucker** : follow me @smallergiant 

 **shippingtrash** : god you n ERD

 **AlienBoy** : Okay hold the fuck up

 **AlienBoy** : Yamaguchi has 59.3K followers??

 **AlienBoy** : I BARELY HAVE 3K HO w

 **yamagucci** : honestly i don't know

 **shippingtrash** : IM LOOKING @ UR ACCOUNT HOLD O n

 **AlienBoy** : IT'S A GOOD ACCOUNT LIKE I'M NOT HATING BUT FU C K HOW

 **yamagucci** : i got like 200 smth after like a month on ig I just took pictures of pretty shit and tagged it

 **yamagucci** : i think I get like 500 every week?? Idk

 **AlienBoy** : Give me a fucking shout out the fuck

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : This is why I'm not giving anyone my instagram

 **yamagucci** : i have ur hhecking ig

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi, no

 **yamagucci** : it's so like 

 **yamagucci** : tumblr nerd aesthetic

 **yamagucci** : it's @tsukkei he has like 21k 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Unfollowing

 **yamagucci** : jokes on u i still have 59,363 followers 

 **AlienBoy** : OHMYGOD

 **AlienBoy** : YOUR FOLLOWERS

 **AlienBoy** : SHIP YOU TWO?

 **yamagucci** : yes ok listen

 **yamagucci** : christmas last year we took a picture that we put on both our accounts

 **yamagucci** : we were under the mistletoe and i was kissing his cheek and welll

 **yamagucci** : they still haven't come up with a ship name HAH

 **shippingtrash** : im gonna comment tsukkiyama on every post that features the two of you now

 **AlienBoy** : ^^

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : See what you've done?

 **OrangeFucker** : oh no

 **OrangeFucker** : i just realized we dont have volleyball today since school was cancelled :(

 **OrangeFucker** : darn it im sad

 **shippingtrash** : theres still friday?

 **OrangeFucker** : BUT I WANTED TO SPIKE AND BLOCK AND PLAY VOLLEYBALL T O D A Y

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Fucking calm down, Greg, it's soccer

 **OrangeFucker** : mmY NAME ISN'T GREG

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Iwaizumi, do you want the children?

 **GodzillaBoy** : do i?

 **BlueberryFucker** : shouyou was the first one you adopted

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm a tired man

 **yamagucci** : go tf to sleep then we have all day

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm waiting for my breakfast

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : (─‿‿─)

 **yamagucci** : i'll throw some cold god damn cereal in your fac e 

 **shippingtrash** : ooh trouble in paradise

 **kindamnichi** : my otp B(

 **shippingtrash** : its ok kindaichi u kunimi and i will hatch operation tsukkiyama soon enough 

 

\----------

 

Tadashi realized, in that moment, he could not stop thinking about it. Thinking about how not even fifteen minutes ago, he had Kei pressed to him and his lips on his and his warmth. His solid chest against Tadashi's, his hair tangled in his fingers.

And then it was snatched from him.

Tadashi looked back to his phone and opened a private chat with Hitoka, heart in his throat.

 

\----------

 

 **yamagucci** : oho resident lesbian 

 **shippingtrash** : u called??

 **shippingtrash** : everything ok??

 **yamagucci** : for the most part but um

 **yamagucci** : please stop making jokes about tsukki and i

 **yamagucci** : like, us being a couple

 **shippingtrash** : oh yeah okay yes ill stop

 **shippingtrash** : im so sorry i never meant to make you uncomfortable with that stuff

 **yamagucci** : no you didn't, not at first anyways

 **yamagucci** : look so you know about how he and i would yknow mess around and stuff

 **yamagucci** : idk if you know or not but recently it went a bit further i guess

 **shippingtrash** : tsukishima told me, yeah

 **yamagucci** : yeah well this morning we were kissing and then he stopped to catch his breath and when i went to kiss him again he said this should stop

 **yamagucci** : that it would be messy again

 **shippingtrash** : again?

 **yamagucci** : long story. for another time

 **yamagucci** : i guess i just don't want to make tsukki uncomfortable or anything

 **shippingtrash** : yeah of course got you

 **shippingtrash** : should i talk to kindaichi and kunimi about this?

 **yamagucci** : not in the group chat or anything but yeah. don't go into details, just let them know not to crack jokes

 **shippingtrash** : right ill talk to them

 **shippingtrash** : in the meantime ill also look into getting u some rebound dick 

 **shippingtrash** : or rebound pussy

 **yamagucci** : omg

 **yamagucci** : true friend

 

\----------

 

 **AlienBoy** : Yahoo, Yamaguchi, answer my dm on Instagram (・∀・ )

 **yamagucci** : i have like 60+ i still havent opened ur not special

 **AlienBoy** : Yamaguchi is Instagram famous and I choked on milk this morning

 **AlienBoy** : Same with Tsukishima God Damn    it

 **bubblegumbitch** : Are you ignoring the fact that Issei and I both have an Instagram with 207k followers?

 **AlienBoy** : It's a fucking meme page

 **AlienBoy** : That was given to you at like 204k

 **AlienBoy** : Fuck up

 **bubblegumbitch** : I'm hurt

 **mattsin** : Iwaizumi control your boyfriend

 **GodzillaBoy** : oikawa be nice

 **GodzillaBoy** : and he's not my hecking boyfriend

 **shippingtrash** : it took you a minute to clarify that you and oikawa arent dating oho

 **kunimeme** : oho

 **shippingtrash** : ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°

 **kunimeme** : ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°

 **kunimeme** : my insta is trashy

 **kunimeme** : i have like 2 followers

 **shippingtrash** : kunimi you have like 5k

 **kunimeme** : 2

 **kindamnichi** : babe you have 5429 followers

 **kunimeme** : :)

 **kindamnichi** : i have like

 **kindamnichi** : 6372 followers

 **AlienBoy** : My fucking kohais have me beat 

 **AlienBoy** : Iwa-chan has like 5 followers I feel better

 **GodzillaBoy** : I have 3948

 **AlienBoy** : What the fuck

 **AlienBoy** : I have 3932 are you actually kidding me

 **AlienBoy** : Okay I just checked I still have Ushiwaka beat by like one hundred

 **bubblegumbitch** : Child

 **shippingtrash** : hmmmm?

 **bubblegumbitch** : I need a ship name

 **shippingtrash** : ushioi

 **bubblegumbitch** : Thank you

 **AlienBoy** : I have so many problems with that interaction

 **GodzillaBoy** : i cannot disagree with you there, my friend

 **kunimeme** : aha youve caught me i only wanted iwaoi

 **shippingtrash** : wouldnt it be oiiwa bc uka iwaizumi

 **OrangeFucker** : uka

 **shippingtrash** : FUCk off uke*

 **kindamnichi** : wouldnt that mean its yamatsukki #semeyama

 **yamagucci** : hah well idk about that haha

 **shippingtrash** : oH SHIT wait

 

\----------

 

 **shippingtrash** : MY GAY FRIENDS

 **kunimeme** : hmm

 **kindamnichi** : hmmm

 **BlueberryFucker** : hmmmm

 **shippingtrash** : ok so kags doesnt really do this but like

 **shippingtrash** : no more tsukkiyama jokes

 **shippingtrash** : or yamatsukki, for that matter

 **kindamnichi** : oho what happened?

 **shippingtrash** : yamaguchi said that their little thang is over and he thinks tsukishima might be uncomfortable with it

 **BlueberryFucker** : i always thought tsukishima had a thang for yamaguchi

 **shippingtrash** : evidently not, it would seem

 **kunimeme** : i thought the same of yamaguchi

 **shippingtrash** : i guess not

 **shippingtrash** : or yknow

 **shippingtrash** : they both have hecka feelings for each other and theyre too dumb to talk it out so

 **shippingtrash** : meddling??

 **BlueberryFucker** : yachi no

 **shippingtrash** : IT WORKED FOR KAGEHINA THOUGH

 **BlueberryFucker** : but that doesnt mean it will for tsukishima and yamaguchi

 **kunimeme** : he has a point

 **shippingtrash** : i mean, yeah, tsukishima kind of confirmed for me that he doesnt see yamaguchi that way

 **shippingtrash** : but i really think yamaguchi might yknow

 **shippingtrash** : like tsukishima

 **kindamnichi** : well id talk to him about it, yamaguchi, i mean

 **kindamncihi** : and if hes like "yes gay feelings are there" then either a) get him some rebound dick/pussy or b) try to figure if tsukishima was just being dumb and he actually is in love with yamaguchi and THEN when its confirmed like kagehina that theyre both dumb and gay, tTHEN we meddle

 **BlueberryFucker** : hey

 **BlueberryFucker** : im not dumb

 **kunimeme** : no btu the slow burn build up to kagehina IS

 **BlueberryFucker** : yes well on saturday we'll see mhmm

 **shippingtrash** : im still worried

 **kunimeme** : about yamaguchi?

 **shippingtrash** : yeah

 **kunimeme** : he'll be fine, just give him some space. try to let him talk to you about it in hsi own time

 **shippingtrash** : :/

 

\----------

 

 **AlienBoy** : Does anyone have Tumblr?

 **shippingtrash:** i have many

 **kunimeme:** i have one

 **Tsukishimasaurus:** I was bullied into getting one

 **GodzillaBoy** : same

 **AlienBoy** : Iwa-Chan, you use it all the time you cannot complain

 **GodzillaBoy** : I'm a single mother, I can complain all I want, darn it

 **AlienBoy** : The children WERE TAKEN

 **GodzillaBoy** : im WORKING ON IT

 **AlienBoy** : you ARE, ARE YOU?

 **GodzillaBoy** : yes, DARN IT

 **AlienBoy** : My mother was RIGHT ABOUT YOU

 **GodzillaBoy** : GAH how dare you

 **AlienBoy** : Sorry

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi has a Tumblr

 **yamagucci** : no i don't

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes, you do?

 **shippingtrash** : ive seen u BLOGGING

 **yamagucci** : sweats

 **shippingtrash** : what kind of blog is it

 **yamagucci** : what kind is your guys'

 **AlienBoy** : I have an aesthetic blog

 **AlienBoy** : Plants, Kanye West, etc.

 **GodzillaBoy** : i mostly reblog pictures of bands and stuff

 **AlienBoy** : I was attacked with an onslaught of reblogs with some band dropped an new album

 **AlienBoy** : It's an AMERICAN band, you're the worst at English i

 **GodzillaBoy** : i'm emotionally attached to brendan urie's voice and i won't apologize

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : My blog is basically shitposting

 **shippingtrash** : fandoms

 **shippingtrash** : i have a separate blogs for each fandom 

 **shippingtrash** : i have so many tumblrs

 **kunimeme** : yet they all are quite active

 **shippingtrash** : dont shame me

 **kunimeme** : my blog is just aesthetics shots of yuutarou IF IM BEING HONEST

 **kindamnichi** : WHAT

 **kunimeme** : my followers agree, youre very pretty

 **kindamnichi** : i

 **kunimeme** : hes blushing AWE

 **shippingtrash** : show me one of these aesthetic pics of kindaichi

 

_kunimeme has sent an image_

 

 **BlueberryFucker** : oh wow

 **AlienBoy** : BEAUT

 **shippingtrash** : U LOOK SO NICE HERE GUCK

 **shippingtrash** : i'll reiterate if i were straight and if kindaichi were straight id be on ur fucking case ur so pretty and sweet aweawe

 **kindamnichi** : shit boi!!

 **kindamnichi** : i feel special

 **GodzillaBoy** : you are

 **kindamnichi** : SHIT BOI!!

 **kunimeme** : yuutarou is v pretty nd i get to date him how lucky

 **kunimeme** : shit boi!!

 **kindamnichi** : HAH

 **shippingtrash** : shit boi!! is so much funnier than it should be HECK

 **AlienBoy** : Elaboration?

 **kunimeme** : yachi was skyping yuutarou and i last night and we skyped til literally four oclock and then her mom comes in and tells her that schools cancelled and the minute her mom left yachi is like "shit boy!!" and spammed shit boi!! in the chat for like ten minutes bc she was sleep deprived and happy idk but i fucking cried yuutarou held me i was sobbing it was so stupid

 **AlienBoy** : Well then

 **AlienBoy** : Shit boi!!

 **kunimeme** : fuKC

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I don't actually know what kind of blog Yamaguchi runs

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : He won't tell me what it is

 **AlienBoy** : Ohhh

 **AlienBoy** : Tell us

 **yamagucci** : no

 **shippingtrash** : tell us

 **yamagucci** : no

 **kunimeme** : tell us

 **yamagucci** : no

 **GodzillaBoy** : tell us

 **yamagucci** : I EXPECTED BETTER FROM YOU IWAIZUMI SAN

 **yamagucci** : FINE

 **yamagucci** : my blog

 **yamagucci** : is

 **kindamnichi** : the suspense is killing me

 **yamagucci** : its a fucking nsfw blog ARE YOU GUYS HAPPY

 **AlienBoy** : OHMY

 **yamagucci** : BUT CLASSY

 **yamagucci** : its not straight up porn its AESTHETIC porn

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Blocked

 **kunimeme** : wwhats it called

 **yamagucci** : umm

 **yamagucci** : i asked someone else for the name ok fight me

 **yamagucci** : noir-stars

 **kunimeme** : i fucking follow that blog

 **yamagucci** : OHMYGOD

 **kunimeme** : u post some quality porn 

 **yamagucci** : thhanks

 **shippingtrash** : iS it all straight or gay or or or

 **yamagucci** : respectively, its just ppl, guys, gals, non binary pals the fuckin' works

 **kunimeme** : that is like my favorite phrase

 **AlienBoy** : Thomas Sanders uses it he's so great

 **yamagucci** : u and ur gd western culture who is that florida man

 **AlienBoy** : I never said he was from Florida

 **kunimeme** : HAH

 **kindamnichi** : yamaguchi tadashi found dead in miami

 **shippingtrash** : is thomas sanders florida man

 **bubblegumbitch** : Does Thomas Sanders is Florida Man?

 **yamagucci** : i followed him on vine my heart broke when vine died

 **yamagucci** : all the memes since have been so BAD like cash me outside is a god damn disgrace

 **mattsin** : The girl is getting a reality show 

 **yamagucci** : lmao to do WHAT disrespect her mother and start fights on planes lol shes a fucking junior high drop out

 **kunimeme** : youre so upset over this

 **yamagucci** : memes are the only thing that ended my suffering. now i dont even have that

 **yamagucci** : the memes hath been tainted

 

\----------

 

The coffee machine light popped on and Tadashi took two mugs out of the cupboard. Black and white mugs, checker board pattern, each with a small feline painted on near the handle, in their own respective colors. He poured coffee into each, leaving space in Kei's for all the sugar and cream the boy's heart desired.

Tadashi's phone pinged one, time, three times before he sat the mugs back down onto the counter and read the messages quickly.

 

\----------

 

 **mattsin** : Okay so none of our followers realize that Takahiro and I are dating, since we also haven't explicitly come out either

 **mattsin** : I just read like four dms in a row asking for if either of us are single lmaooo

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I remember I got like eighteen people ask me in one day if I were seeing anyone

 **yamagucci** : omg this

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I panicked and told them I was dating Yamaguchi

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : For three weeks, we had to deal with the aftermath of that

 **yamagucci** : if anything it made people ship it more

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Tbh like people are so shipping and stuff like cal, down

 **yamagucci** : u ok

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm so tired oh my god

 **yamagucci** : go to sleep wtf

 **shippingtrash** : y u so tired

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I was up late

 **shippingtrash** : i see

 **yamagucci** : i got him hooked on voltron ;)

 **shippingtrash** : praise yama

 **kunimeme** : praise it be

 **shippingtrash** : omg wait kinkuni r together rn bc u were at turnips house yES

 **kindamnichi** : that he be

 

 **AlienBoy** has left **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **shippingtrash** : wtf

 **GodzillaBoy** : he didn't mean to

 

 **GodzillaBoy** has added **AlienBoy** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **AlienBoy** : Thnx Iwa-Chan

 **GodzillaBoy** : yw

 **AlienBoy** has added **Yahababe** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **AlienBoy** : Combining our names with derogitory stuff is out

 

 **Yahababe** is now **CreamyBoy**

 

 **shippingtrash** : C REAMYBOY

 **kunimeme** : CREAMYBOY

 **kindamnichi** : HE  a creamy b o y

 **yamagucci** : C R EA MYBOy

 **shippingtrash** : MMMMM CREAMY BOY

 **CreamyBoy** : of alll the fuckig names you cpuld of guven mw

 **CreamyBoy** : whp aer you poeple 

 **kunimeme** : ur in a chat w me

 **CreamyBoy** : i wssnt referirngng to yiu knunimi

 **kindamnichi** : im akiras boyfriend

 **CreamyBoy** : ye s wrve met

 **shippingtrash** : im kunimis best friend

 **CreamyBoy** : dpnt komw whp you aree butu hi

 **CreamyBoy** : why ddi you choosa cremaybboy

 **AlienBoy** : Your typing hurts my soul

 **CreamyBoy** : andwer yhe qusetionn bicnh tirs

 **AlienBoy** : WELL EVERYONE COMPARES YOU TO CREAMPUFFS

 **AlienBoy** : BUT CREAMPUFFBOY IS SO LONG AND EXTRA

 **CreamyBoy** : iiwaizmui wjy aer ypu mrarride to him

 **GodzillaBoy** : we aren't but mostly because he amuses me

 **CreamyBoy** : lol @ you syaingng you tqo awrnt' marieed

 **shippingtrash:** i think he types weorse than me

 **CreamyBoy** : i jsut tyype realy fast nand ny lofe hss tpo mnany msistakes alrready sp whjats tah pnoit yu fele

 **CreamyBoy** : gonig trhoguh lfei t o fixx the stupuid misteaks is stupid in it of itsefl

 **shippingtrash** : thats an interesting way ot look at life

 **shippingtrash** : i have crippling anxiety that prevents me from not not caring about these things

 **CreamyBoy** : noa acneity juist cripplign depressino

 **kunimeme** : depressino

 **kunimeme** : makes me think of expressos

 **kunimeme** : and now i think, would it be coffee that cures depression or inherently makes you more depressed

 **CreamyBoy** : or waht abiut anxei-tea

 **shippingtrash** : for fuck

 **AlienBoy** : Calm down there, Saturn

 **CreamyBoy** : oikwaea ill kill oyur fucking bogfirned

 **GodzillaBoy** : i'm not saying he's my boyfriend but i know you mean me and i didn't do anything

 **shippingtrash** : saturn

 **CreamyBoy** : watvh ut u lez bean

 **shippingtrash** : explain the name

 **CreamyBoy** : ohymg ok  so my frien wateru is a lil birch ok and we wer eleanring baout astroniumy shit and the steacher said somthing baout how the prrssure of aaturn is so strong i t literally crushed atoms and if ewe were ot bring tht stuff to reath it waould just turn into gas and wartati tunrs ot me furing lunch an hes like hey yahaba so the teacher said that the atoms on saturn would turn back into gas right well i think if w rought them back to eatth and you sat on tham they would say t the same and i got really wuietly because i didnt understand at first and then it suddenly hit hme that he was comaring my bodg wiehgt to the pressure of saturn and i fucking  clcoked hi min the afce and then we had to explain to the team why warati had a giant brusie and i explained tha t i pinched him the face sunce he ssid i wad bascially as fat as satunr adn oikawa haseben calllingn mw saaturn for like two yeass now and i hste him everytday for it

 **BlueberryFucker** : oh my god

 **BlueberryFucker** : seijioh is fucking wild

 **kunimeme** : dont you wish you had of come

 **kindamnichi** : he probably would have if i hadnt gotten a crush on him in middle school

 **BlueberryFucker** : true

 **GodzillaBoy** : it would have been nice to have you

 **AlienBoy** : Hey Tobio-Chan

 **BlueberryFucker** : what

 **AlienBoy** : You should have come to Aoba Johsai

 **GodzillaBoy** : OHNYGOODNESS

 **CreamyBoy** : USIHOI RISEES

 **shippingtrash** : I DONT GET IT

 **kunimeme** : this rly scary wing spiker (which btw why tf r there so many scary ppl that play volleyball ok its fucking volleyball its VOLLEYBALL) names ushijima is like a tsundere for oikawa nd whenever he sees him hes always like 'u shuld have cum 2 shiratorizawa' and honestly its just a fucking meme @ seijioh and im fairly certain it will stick around even after they graduate

 **CreamyBoy** : i sent wartary screnheshots i thiuink he peed hijmself

 **AlienBoy** : ffs

 **CreamyBoy** : i askjed if i shudl add him ubt he dsijad je anct sray fir mlong id kif tjat meqns fkwever or ust now waratu is os elusvie

 **CreamyBoy** : qwed use d ot be in a cjat woth some poeol from lke ikf nekokma or msnth and he would neer tlak but whne he did he droped straight wisfom on ur ass

 **shippingtrash** : the stories kunimi tells me r great i need to meet Watery

 **CreamyBoy** ok

 

 **CreamyBoy** had added **Thirst** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **Thirst** : tsukishima tsuffering is a symbolism for my entire life

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I've been meme'd

 **CreamyBoy** : i wqs almsot memed

 **shippingtrash** : i will meme u

 **CreamyBoy** : i dont evbrn knwn u hoe

 **bubblegumbitch** : That's my daughter, Saturn, apologize

 **CreamyBoy** : fuq

 **CreamyBoy** : sry

 **CreamyBoy** : i dont knpw nyour namme

 **shippingtrash** : yachi

 **CreamyBoy** : soyrry yachi

 **shippingtrash** : thanks creamy boy

 **kunimeme** :  c creammy boy

 **kindamnichi** : LOOK AT HIM GO

 **Thirst** : creamybOY

 **shippingtrash** : CREAM Y. BOY. _creamyboy_ and slurp. it cream. REAL. GOOD. CREAM BOY. CREAMY BOY{ MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM } 

**kunimeme** : YACHI FUCK

**Tsukishimasaurus** : Yachi's an unstoppable memer 

**mattsin** : I'm so proud 

**Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi bring me coffee 

**yamagucci** : no

 

\---------

 

Tadashi was bringing Kei his coffee. Under his feet, the pressure of the floor was strong and part of Tadashi felt like he was going to drop. He felt like he was going to just collapse and he wasn't sure why. A short turn left and he stood in front of his bedroom door for a moment, staring at it.  


On the other side of the door was Kei, he was sat in Tadashi's bed. Maybe, he was still curled up in the blankets and maybe he was sat a top the duvet and staring at his phone, or maybe he was half asleep, struggling to stay awake. It's only Kei in there, only Kei who Tadashi had known for what had to be seven years now. It's only Kei so Tadashi should just open the door and smile and talk to him because _it's only Kei._

But it's not _only_ Kei. Kei has never just _only_ been anything. He's been Tadashi's friend, Tadashi's first crush, his first love, Kei was the center of Tadashi's universe whether he wanted to admit it or not, whether he wanted it to be _true_ or not, whether it were pathetic or not.

It just _was_. 

He blinked twice, used the side of his hand to wipe stray tears out of his eyes and pushed the door open. "Coffee." He said. Kei was laying on top of the duvet, Tadashi's - or maybe Kei's, he couldn't tell - laptop was set up at the end of the bed. Kei's golden eyes were trained on Tadashi as he walked towards him, quietly, not saying anything after the rough word. It felt like sandpaper in his throat and Tadashi felt like a cold hand ran a single finger down his spine.  _I mean- I don't know. It will just get... Messy._ Tadashi placed a mug on the bedside table next to Kei, accompanied with sugar and cream. 

"You were gone awhile." Kei was sitting up more, pushing himself up with his hands. He watched Tadashi walk around the bed and took a seat next to Kei. He held himself stiffly and awkwardly on the edge of the bed.

Tadashi shrugged, playing cool. "In. In a few days, we have our first Prelim match right? ...Against Ougiminami? Yeah?"

"Yeah." Kei said. _If this is about what I said before, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad._

Tadashi reached for his own mug of coffee. "It's kind of exciting, huh? Getting to play again. I thought we were done for after loosing to Seijioh."

Kei nods. "Good thing we're not holding it against them, right?" 

"Well, if we had this would be a bit like making friends with the enemy, right?"

Kei nods, again, and then vaguely gestures towards the laptop. "Voltron?" He asks. Tadashi nods and Kei starts up an episode. 

And then, Tadashi can't find himself to watch the show. He's rewatched the series about three times himself, and though he'll never turn down a conversation geared towards the Paladins, he's distracted.  

By who else, but Kei?

He stuck glancing over at him, catching him with a relaxed smile, or a grin erupting on his face. He makes passing comments on the show and Tadashi glances at the window, hoping to see if the rains stopped. Kei makes a mention at how Tobio reminds him a little of Keith and Tadashi looks at the clock to see if his parents are due home soon. 

Then Kei yawns. "I'm _so_ fucking tired." He gasps suddenly and Tadashi nudges him. 

"So sleep." 

And Kei decides to do just that. He dramatically stands and tossing his side of the blankets back, situates himself into a sleeping position and glances up to Tadashi. "Are you going to stay up?"

Tadashi thinks for a moment and then shakes his head. "No. M'Gonna nap, too." He wiggles around a bit until he's under the duvet like Kei is. 

They stare at each other when Kei suddenly speaks. "Sorry about earlier." He says, and before Tadashi can say anything to him. "Dropping the bomb on you, I just-- With everything that happened in Middle School I- I didn't want to see it happen again and I thought maybe... Maybe _this_ had been some kind of factor."

Tadashi closes his eyes a moment, and then reopens them. "No, it's okay." He says. "It's fine, Tsukki." 

"Is it?"

Tadashi hesitates a moment before nodding. "Yes. It's fine." A grin. "It's not like I can't get laid on my own, right?"

Kei laughs, and then yawns. "Yeah..." He stares at Tadashi a moment. "If you wake up before me, wake me up, too. 'Want a couple of hours before your parents come home."

Kei drifts and shortly, Tadashi follows, his heart beat thumping hard in his chest.

 

\----------

 

**AlienBoy** : Oh gosh

**AlienBoy** : Iwaizumi Hajime makes me emo 

**AlienBoy** : Oh wrong chat

 **AlienBoy** : Disregard this

 **GodzillaBoy** : i won't ask

 **AlienBoy** : Right thank you

 **shippingtrash** : kunimi u see this right

 **kunimeme** : yes yes i do

 **shippingtrash** : ??gay??

 **kunimeme** : im working on it ok

 **GodzillaBoy** : guys he's doing it again

 **shippingtrash** : what

 **GodzillaBoy** : heck wong chat

 **shippingtrash** : what chat?

 **GodzillaBoy** : um

 **shippingtrash** : whos in it

 **GodzillaBoy** : a bunch of people

 **kunimeme** : ???

 **GodzillaBoy** : the vice from karasuno

 **GodzillaBoy** : nekoma's setter

 **GodzillaBoy** : fukurodani's setter

 **GodzillaBoy** : surprisingly the middle blocker from shiratorizawa ?

 **GodzillaBoy** : the guy w/o eyebrows from date tech

 **shippingtrash** : lmao is it a chat dedicated to having a gay crush on ur captain

 **GodzillaBoy** : i

 **GodzillaBoy** : of course not

 **GodzillaBoy** : i have homework

 **shippingtrash** : kunimi, dads, kindaichi... a word?

 

\----------

 

 **shippingtrash** has added **kunimeme, kindamnichi, bubblegumbitch,** and **mattsin** to **does iwaoi is real?**

 

 **shippingtrash** : i dont go to school w them so like

 **shippingtrash** : maybe it happen

 **shippingtrash** : i can die happy

 **bubblegumbitch** : You aren't dying

 **shippingtrash** : u dont know that

 **kunimeme** : ur not dying tho right?

 **shippingtrash** : ;)

 **kunimeme** : yachi pls

 **shippingtrash** : im dying at the same rate as u its ok

 **kunimeme** : maybe im terminally ill

 **kindamnichi** : akira

 **kunimeme** : im not but

 **mattsin** : Throwing out there that they have always flirted with each other like this and it's painful

 **mattsin** : We'll make it happen, Yachi

 **shippingtrash** : bless up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tjis is a weird chapter im sorry i just want to make meme/angst fics and listen to the heathers jshjsjhsj
> 
> i finished this instead of doing my junior project llolololol im gonna fail
> 
> headcanon that yamaguchi is super popular on instagram p much because hes a slut for aesthetic pics and everyone agrees hes pretty as fuck 
> 
> headcanon that mattsuhana co own a meme account and none of their followers put two and two together and realize that theyre literally dating??? 
> 
> headcanon that yachi has like nine tunblrs
> 
> headcanon that iwaizumi is a secret emo 
> 
> headcanon that yamaguchi runs a nsfw blog 
> 
> headcanon that yahaba is actually the literal actual worse typer to ever grace gods green earth 
> 
> backflips out of room


	11. i dont give a darn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **GodzillaBoy** : is it because you're gay?
> 
>  **GodzillaBoy** : because like everyone in the chat is gay
> 
>  **GodzillaBoy** : except like
> 
>  **GodzillaBoy** : idk
> 
>  **Thirst** : im ace
> 
>  **GodzillaBoy** : no im the ace
> 
>  **AlienBoy** : Iwa-Chan, no
> 
>  **GodzillaBoy** : i misread im not that ignorant
> 
>  **CreamyBoy** : wqhat
> 
>  **CreamyBoy** : you wnver evenr tokd mw tjis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its a seijiohoes chapter (i love calling them that and im not going to stop)

**CreamyBoy** : im reakly fucking tired and wastarit has derawn shjit on my dhand isx timnes laeeady 

 **CreamyBoy** : i wasnab adie

 **shippingtrash** : join the club

 **AlienBoy** : Chillins need to focus on school

 **AlienBoy** : He's not even in your class

 **CreamyBoy** : ge habgs aoriund gheer bnorefor claks

 **CreamyBoy** : tyheer asre lkie fpur diicks oin mny hdand

 **AlienBoy** : No excuses

 **kunimeme** : fuck you mom i do what i want

 **kindamnichi** : akira focus

 **kunimeme** : ok daddy

 **shippingtrash** : JSJSJHSHJ

 **shippingtrash** : seijioh seems like so much fun i should transfer

 **kunimeme** : IF YOU DID

 **shippingtrash** : IF I DID

 **kindamnichi** : if u did i think we'd be murdered by a murder

 **CreamyBoy** : wqhat

 **kindamnichi** : a group of crows is called a murder

 **kindamnichi** : this is basic ornithology guys come on

 **kunimeme** : im dating such a dork

 **shippingtrash** : my crows wouldnt kill u guys

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We probably would tbh she's our manager

 **BlueberryFucker** : we cant loose yachi to seijioh dammit

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : We still have Shimizu

 **BlueberryFucker** : NOT FOR LONG

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Shit boi!!

 **kunimeme** : HAH

 **shippingtrash** : its weird to have guys fight over me and idk if i like it

 **GodzillaBoy** : is it because you're gay?

 **GodzillaBoy** : because like everyone in the chat is gay

 **GodzillaBoy** : except like

 **GodzillaBoy** : idk

 **Thirst** : im ace

 **GodzillaBoy** : no im the ace

 **AlienBoy** : Iwa-Chan, no

 **GodzillaBoy** : i misread im not that ignorant

 **CreamyBoy** : wqhat

 **CreamyBoy** : you wnver evenr tokd mw tjis

 **Thirst** : sry

 **Thirst** : coming out is so extra

 **CreamyBoy** : rtyue mu poarebts kust kundq dl;eat wyth fidnbing mw nakiung out wuth bous

 **Thirst** : sensei is yelling gtg

 **CreamyBoy** : scweam

 **GodzillaBoy** : oikawa focus

 **AlienBoy** : No, fuck you, I do what I want

 **GodzillaBoy** : Tooru.

 **AlienBoy** : Jesus Hajime, fine

 **shippingtrash** : SCREAM

 

\----------

 

 **AlienBoy** : Omg

 **AlienBoy** : American schools are so extra wtf

 **GodzillaBoy** : dont

 **AlienBoy** : This girl is reading Catcher In The Rye and she's like "the main character goes to a prep school" and then she showed me this video about a prep school and I just

 **GodzillaBoy** : i know i was there you showed me like as soon as she finished showing you

 **shippingtrash** : hah gay

 **AlienBoy** : Anyways

 **AlienBoy** : Watch this <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSUQ3RhSyLA>

**kindamnichi** : i dont speak english

 **AlienBoy** : Fucking suffer then

 **kindamnichi** : there arent any subtitles wtf thats racist

 **AlienBoy** : It's an American prep school in Pennsylvania I don't think they're trying to branch that far out

 **GodzillaBoy** : is it just me or is the second guy in the library kinda hot

 **AlienBoy** : I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST ME tell him to hmu

 **kindamnichi** : i mean yeah?? also he can sing like

 **kunimeme** : wat

 **kindamnichi** : i wouldnt leaVE YOU FOR HIM YOURE HOTTER AND CAN SING BETTER

 **shippingtrash** : YOU CAN SING?

 **kunimeme** : UM

 **shippingtrash** : wait im watching the video

 **shippingtrash** : THE THIRD GUY LOOKS LIKE A SCHOOL SHOOTER IM YODELING

 **kunimeme** : YAHCI NO

 **kunimeme** : he does FFUCK

 **kindamnichi** : someone translate for me im so confused

 **shippingtrash** : the opening line is "i build my future on the bricks of the past" what BULLSHIT

 **AlienBoy** : Why are white people extra

 **CreamyBoy** : thihs us im amnerica?

 **AlienBoy** : Yeah

 **CreamyBoy** : o havebnt wasxtch yut

 **CreamyBoy** : cbn i bnet tjat everyionbe us wqhite

 **shippingtrash** : hey they r not racist

 **shippingtrash** : there is at least 3 poc

 **shippingtrash** : g0sh

 **CreamyBoy** : oihmyogd

 **CreamyBoy** : brpke oit akl thwier miuniorites fir tge vibedo

 **shippingtrash** : HAH

 **Thirst** : i wanna be a yoyo man he cried

 **Thirst** : but the yoyo man did not answer

 **Thirst** : he just kept yoing

 **shippingtrash** : im the yoyo man

 **AlienBoy** : Aren't you a girl?

 **shippingtrash** : no im the yoyo man

 **shippingtrash** : nothing matters time isnt real pants are an illusion

 **shippingtrash** : sorry sensei is talkingabout transcendentalism and that fucks me up

 **AlienBoy** : I see

 **kunimeme** : unrelated but this is oikawa <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_OHKpJl62I>

**AlienBoy** : It's on a loop

 **kunimeme** : i dont give a darn

 **shippingtrash** : kunimi ur gonna go to hell

 **kunimeme** : i hope the fuck i do

 **AlienBoy** : Personally, I identify as the kid from that vine where some janitor unlocked the locker and when he finally got out, the first thing he says is, "screw you, Jake."

 **AlienBoy** : But, if that were to happen to me, I'd probably say "screw you, Iwa-Chan."

 **bubblegumbitch** : Isn't it your job to screw Iwaizumi?

 **AlienBoy** : Off topic question 

**shippingtrash** : what vine describes me?

 **kunimeme** : <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4AgIZqrcDY>

**shippingtrash** : yeah probably

 **shippingtrash** : i want a pet chicken

 **shippingtrash** : specifically so i could tell people about my cock

 **AlienBoy** : WHEEZE

 **shippingtrash** : KUNIMI IS THAT ONE THING

 **shippingtrash** : HOLD ON

 **kunimeme** : 'that one thing' jeez thanks

 **shippingtrash** : <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOsck7jYUsE>

**kunimeme** :JSHSJSHSHJS

 **CreamyBoy** : o fiund okiwwa eveyrtieim usijwaka syas hej shuould of coime toi sjhiratorixawa

 **CreamyBoy** : <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbWnTUzrO4U>

**AlienBoy** : I

 **AlienBoy** : I'm just

 **AlienBoy** : 'DIE YOU CIS WHITE SCUM' IM FUCKING

 **GodzillaBoy** : heck

 **AlienBoy** : Iwa-Chan is that one kid that looks like Chibi-Chan

 **AlienBoy** : <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPp7zlZbJCU>

**AlienBoy** : He has no reaction I'm so offended

 **bubblegumbitch** : Iwaizumi got his phone taken because he watched the video and snorted 'heck'

 **bubblegumbitch** : Rookie mistake

 **shippingtrash** : did

 **shippingtrash** : did he actually snort out 'heck'

 **bubblegumbitch** : yes

 **shippingtrash** :  y doesnt he curse

 **AlienBoy** : He calls me a dumbass, but that's like it

 **AlienBoy** : Is he gonna get his phone back?

 **mattsin** : Idk we aren't in the same class

 **shippingtrash** : how tf did makki know he got his phone taken

 **bubblegumbitch** : Dropping off papers, I walk in and all I hear is HECK

 **bubblegumbitch:** Also, awe she's using my nickname

 **bubblegumbitch** : i need a nickname to give you

 **shippingtrash** : idk no ones ever cared to give me one 

**mattsin** : AWEE

 **mattsin** : gonna call u sunshine child

 **shippingtrash** : thats hinata

 **shippingtrash** : iTS lunch time to tutor bai

 **mattsin** : how soft im going to actually adopt

 **bubblegumbitch** : lets

 

\----------

 

 **CreamyBoy** : ohmygido i saw tha tione ufkcngi amnoying hot guy tha tuse dot be on the  team fuck i wantn a ficpimcn something

 **Thirst** : the angry blond guy?

 **CreamyBoy** : YEYAH

 **CreamyBoy** : wer spoike like one c brefore he dropped tje team i waqs gynna tet hjm smash fick

 **shippingtrash** : hah kyotahaba

 **CreamyBoy** : hws hot amd iy anboys me

 **CreamyBoy** : sjit hea porobs straught

 **CreamyBoy** : bu thalf of me wants to skap hib an hulf wnts to slbm himd ahainst a wsll and wmkaeout with him

 **AlienBoy** : Do both

 **AlienBoy** : I told him I wouldn't pester him to rejoin unless the situation is dire

 **GodzillaBoy** : i'm back

 **AlienBoy** :  WELCOME

 **GodzillaBoy** : i cleaned chalk boards during the first half of lunch and explained myself to sensei

 **GodzillaBoy** : he said to tell you guys not to send me memes in class anymore

 **GodzillaBoy** : oh yahaba is being gay about the one guy again

 **shippingtrash** : i thought he had a thing for my captain

 **CreamyBoy** : shjit ud fyuvk tyuur caotauns

 **shippingtrash** : theyre dating so maybe threesome idk how to subtly bring it up but

 **CreamyBoy** : nect tume qe habw q mstcj ket  ne spoek ti tjem

 **shippingtrash** : speaking of matches our first prelim is monday wbu

 **AlienBoy** : Same, we're gonna kick butt

 **kunimeme** : OOH SHIT I JUST REMEMBER TMRW IS SATURDAY YACHI YACHI DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS

 **shippingtrash** : OO SHIT

 **kindamnichi** : SHIT BOI!!

 **kunimeme** SHIT BOI!!

 **shippingtrash** : SHIT BOI!!

 **BlueberryFucker** : regret

 **shippingtrash** : SHIT BOI!!

 **OrangeFucker** : ?

 **AlienBoy** : Idk

 **BlueberryFucker** : were all hanging out and meeting yamaguchis pets on saturday

 **yamagucci** : u guys have been talking all day in the chat wtf thats illegal

 **kunimeme** : i hope i go back to prison

 **yamagucci** : i need plans bc my parents work late nd they want to know if u guys r gonna be here nd gone or what bc they'll like leave money for food nd whatever

 **shippingtrash** : ur parents are my sugarparents

 **yamagucci** : jfc

 **OrangeFucker** ; oo!!!!

 **OrangeFucker** : what if !!

 **OrangeFucker** : we had!!

 **OrangeFucker** : a slumber party!!!

 **yamagucci** : omg

 **yamagucci** : im game ill ask my parents

 **shippingtrash** : yEs lets we can prank tsukishima

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : wtf no

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I already low-key live at Yamaguchi's so I'm cool

 **kunimeme** : i'll speak to parental units

 **kindamnichi** : ^^

 **kindamnichi** : "hello ma? pa? yeah so im spending the night at this kids house that you've never met with my boyfriend and like four other people btw the guy that i almost fought in junior high like six times is gonna be there. we're gonna get froyo"

 **shippingtrash** : can we get froyo?

 **yamagucci** : yes

 **BlueberryFucker** : idk if i can come

 **yamagucci** : ill fight your parents wtf ur coming

 **BlueberryFucker** : WHAT no its

 **BlueberryFucker** : personal things?

 **BlueberryFucker** : yeah that

 **yamagucci** : mhmmm what?

 **BlueberryFucker** : uh

 **BlueberryFucker** : ive never been to a slumber party

 **AlienBoy** : Awe!! Tobio-Chan!!

 **BlueberryFucker** : SHUT

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : If you don't do it right we can't invite you to another one ever

 **BlueberryFucker** : really?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : NO omg I feel bad. You'll be fine just don't light anyone on fire or something

 **BlueberryFucker** : there go all my parlor tricks

 **OrangeFucker** : HAH

 

\----------

 

 **OrangeFucker** : i just took a fifteen minute long nap and imagine us beating shiratorizawa and we added japan to the chat for like half a minute and all i said was "get rekt" and

 **AlienBoy** : Lmao you beating Ushiwaka? Good luck

 **AlienBoy** : Been at that for years, damn near impossible

 **BlueberryFucker** : in the event we actually beat them i actually dare you to do that

 **OrangeFucker** : ur on

 **shippingtrash** : is it my job as the manager to apologize to him ?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes

 **AlienBoy** : Yes

 **GodzillaBoy** : yes

 **CreamyBoy** : yqs

 **OrangeFucker** : yes

 **BlueberryFucker** : yes

 **kunimeme** : yes

 **kindamnichi** : yes

 **yamagucci** : yes

 **Thirst** : yes

 **bubblegumbitch** : yes

 **mattsin** : yes

 **shippingtrash** : fucking hell

 **GodzillaBoy** : watch your hecking language

 **shippingtrash** : fucking heck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> call out post for me: stop stealing all your ideas from bad vines 
> 
> i was looking at my mangas to see what classes my seijihoes r in bc accuracy and like all of them r so smart wtf @ fic writers stop portraying like half of them as stupid wtf like ok oikawa is in class six, iwaizumi is in class five, yahaba is in class five, watari is in class six, kunimi is in class six, kindaichi is in class five actually fight me LIKE FR IS IT LIKE A THING FOR PEOPLE TO ALWAYS WRITE KINDAICHI AS DUMB BC ??? HES SMART F GITHt me (also y u guys always write iwa and kin and ken as broke like they go to a mf private fancy ass school they gotta be making bank) 
> 
> chat fic updates but everytime someone comments its faster 
> 
> also peep this im crying https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLl6VgrwOcE


	12. kageyama desevres a  v o r i n g

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **AlienBoy** : I've been watch snk Junior High subbed and crying over Marco 
> 
> **GodzillaBoy** : tooru your first language is japanese
> 
>  **GodzillaBoy** : why use subbed
> 
>  **shippingtrash** : e x t r a 
> 
> **AlienBoy** : Plot twist, that's literally the only reason I'm good at English
> 
>  **shippingtrash** : ohmygof
> 
>  **AlienBoy** : Maybe if you guys did the same you'd be passing English
> 
>  **bubblegumbitch** : SEIJOH BOY TELL EM
> 
>  **matsin** : MMMMMM
> 
>  **kunimeme** : HHSHSH
> 
>  **shippingtrash** :m FUCKING CYRUIGN
> 
>  **shippingtrash** : SEIJOH BOY TELL EM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rolls up three months late with starbucks
> 
> okay so a while back my friend, ria (heyy person too tall for Yoongi) drew me smth AND ITS BASED OFF THIS FIC!!! it's yachi having an existential crisis over her fallen froyo, from the Iconic™ chapter 'I DROPPED MY FUCKING FROYO' and??it got me thinking?? if anyone ever decides that im just so gosh diggity darn inspiring and wants to draw fanart or smth for this fic hmu w/ that because I'll also love you forever?? 
> 
>  
> 
> Aone makes an apperence and in case you couldnt tell I'm hecka hinting at AoFuta bc its such a pure and beautiful ship please ship it with me
> 
>  
> 
> Like just take a moment to appreciate it 
> 
>  
> 
> But ya its canon ok

**kunimeme** : call out post for the entire human race

 **kunimeme** : never hurt kindaichi yuutarou

 **AlienBoy** : ^

 **GodzillaBoy** : ^

 **bubblegumbitch** : ^

 **matsin** : ^

 **CreamyBoy** : %

 **shippingtrash** : ^

 **BlueberryFucker** : ^

 **OrangeFucker** : ^

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : ^

 **yamagucci** : ^

 **kindamnichi** : omg

 **GodzillaBoy** : any particular reason for calling out the entire human race?

 **kunimeme** : idk i felt like i needed to remind everyone that im really gay and angry with nothing to lose and ill fight anyone that talks shit abt my bf

 **shippingtrash** : talk shit get hit

 **kindamnichi** : i feel so loved??

 **kunimeme** : u r very loved

 **kindamnichi** : heck

 **kunimeme** : heck is right, i love you

 **kindamnichi** : HECK

 **shippingtrash** : just for a moment, lets talk about how yahaba managed to fuck up ^

 **CreamyBoy** lietsn swteay

 **Thirst** : your typing is truly atrocious

 **Thirst** : and, yes kindaichi is a pure soul that needs to be protected at all costs and i'll honest to god dedicate my life to making sure my kouhai is safe and warm at all times

 **AlienBoy** : We all need to be a bit more like Watari

 **shippingtrash** : watari and ennoshita

 **OrangeFucker** : and inuoka

 **yamagucci** : the guy from date tech seems nice

 **OrangeFucker** : AONE IS  S O  NICE

 **OrangeFucker** : WAIT HOLD ON

 

\----------

 

 **OrangeFucker** : aone hi!!

 **IronWall7** : hello hinata (￣(エ)￣)

 **OrangeFucker** : is it alright if you say hi to some of my friends? you dont have to but i wanted to ask you first, so you dont get freaked out

 **IronWall7:** who are they?

 **OrangeFucker** : ooo!! my setter tobio, our manager yachi, the two other first years yamaguchi and tsukishima + most of the aoba johsai team

 **IronWall7** : i've met their ace, iwaizumi

 **IronWall7** : i don't mind saying hello

 **OrangeFucker** : okay!!!

 

\----------

 

 **CreamyBoy** : wjy thr fcku woudl yiu twll ne tgat

 **yamagucci** : i love spreading the pain of croque-misure around

 **AlienBoy** : Okay, but they RAN OVER your goat and never apologize??

 **yamagucci** : never

 **GodzillaBoy** : give me their address i just wanna talk

 **GodzillaBoy** : i love animals so much and they murdered a goat and i am just

 **OrangeFucker** : im gonna add aone in to say hello real quick ok!!

 **OrangeFucker** : oh no croque-misure

 **GodzillaBoy** : aone takanobu

 **GodzillaBoy** : whatta guy

 **GodzillaBoy** : he once baked me cookies

 **AlienBoy** : Wait, the ones with dried fruit?

 **GodzillaBoy** : yes he said they're good for your digestive system

 **AlienBoy** : Those were so good omg I thought Auntie made those

 **OrangeFucker** : hes so nice he takes me to get ramen sometimes!!

 

 **OrangeFucker** has added **IronWall7** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Before you ask, I'm Tsukishima and, yes, I'm tsuffering

 **IronWall7** : why are you tsuffering?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Lots of reasons

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I was traumatized by watching a pygmy goat die when I was like eleven

 **IronWall7** : was the goat named croque-misure by any chance?

 **yamagucci** : OMHMYGOD how do you knwo about my goat

 **IronWall7:** i'd read about him in the paper shortly after it happened

 **IronWall7:** i brought cookies and offered a woman at the door my condolences

 **yamagucci** : HECK taht was my mom

 **IronWall7** : she was very nice, she gave me tea

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Auntie is so nice

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : When I was nine I wanted her to adopt me

 **AlienBoy** : If you marry Yamaguchi-kun then you'll be her son in law

 **yamagucci:** my hand is already promised to him WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS

 **IronWall7** : i'll bake a cake

 **yamagucci** : aw how nice of you, aone

 **yamagucci** : also @ oikawa miss me w that kun shit dont b extra online

 **AlienBoy** : Honorifics are important to me

 **IronWall7** : showing respect to people is important

 **IronWall7** : but only if they are deserving of it

 **IronWall7** : very often, older people claim to be shown respect and they'll show respect in return

 **IronWall7** : but it also seems to transcribe into that unless they are shown respect, they'd treat you even worse than lesser

 **IronWall7** : in my experience, anyways

 **AlienBoy** : Jesus, now I feel bad

 **GodzillaBoy** : good

 **AlienBoy** : Fuck you, Hajime

 **GodzillaBoy** : square the heck up tooru

 **shippingtrash** : get married

 **kunimeme** : yknow its like 6 oclock ok

 **kunimeme** : and i was really drowsy and half asleep when i sent that stuff about yuutarou before

 **kunimeme** : and like even half dead i feel the urge to remind the world how much i love that turnip

 **kindamnichi** : HECK

 **kindamnichi** : w hat do i compare u to

 **kindamnichi** : heck ur like a flower

 **kindamnichi:** guys akira is so beautiful like a flower i love him so much heck

 **IronWall7** : should i bake two wedding cakes?

 **shippingtrash** : yes

 **IronWall7** : oh i have to go, kenji is calling me

 **OrangeFucker** : ooo given names

 **OrangeFucker** : heck

 **OrangeFucker** : u happy with him ??

 **IronWall7** : he makes me very happy, yes

 **shippingtrash** : HECK idk who kenji is but how sweet

 **OrangeFucker** : his name is futakuchi hes date techs new captain!!

 **IronWall7** : i'm meeting him by the train station

 **OrangeFucker** : you gonna ride with him ??

 **IronWall7** : yes, we're getting breakfast together before morning practice

 **OrangeFucker** : have fun aone!! tell futakuchi i said hi!!

 **IronWall7** : will do

 **IronWall7** : goodbye everyone

 **IronWall7** : (∪ ◡ ∪)

 

 **IronWall7** has left **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **shippingtrash** : hes so nice what the heck

 **shippingtrash** : today has been so great already like all that kinkuni + meeting aone + hanging out with my squad later like todays been amazing and it's only six

 **GodzillaBoy** : he's like the nicest person i've ever met

 **GodzillaBoy** : people don't sit next to him on the train

 **shippingtrash** : wtf treason

 **kunimeme** : id sit next to aone HECK

 **kindamnichi** : one day we all should invite him on an outing

 **kindamnichi** : and b like "oi ya take the train"

 **kindamnichi** : and when he gets on we all appear out of no where and sit w him and itll b cute awe awe

 **kunimeme** : HECK thats adorable

 **GodzillaBoy** : i like how collectively everyones gradually begun using heck

 **shippingtrash** : fuck

 **GodzillaBoy** : you take everything from me

 **shippingtrash** : :)

 **kunimeme** : fightfightfight

 **AlienBoy** : If they fought I think someone would call the police on Hajime

 **AlienBoy** : Iwa-Chan*

 **shippingtrash** : idk how to feel abt u guys using given names bc thats like practically engagement

 **yamagucci** : yachi most of the team is @ practice wya

 **shippingtrash** : crying in a dennys bathroom

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi and I are engaged and we don't use given names

 **yamagucci** : kei

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : unfollowing

 **yamagucci** : (ι´Д｀)ﾉ

 **yamagucci** : breaking my HEART

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : tadashi

 **yamagucci** : u named a stuffed dino i gave u tadashi whuddup

 **shippingtrash** : REALLY?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes

 **yamagucci** : we were like nine and he had a cold and i went to visit him and i gave him the dino and was like "what u gonna name it" and he was like "idk 'tadashi'" and well its named tadashi

 **kindamnichi** : can i just say i have really always liked the name tadashi

 **kunimeme** : well shit go date yamaguchi then

 **yamagucci** : #yamakin

 **shippingtrash** : NAST

 **kindamnichi** : MY HEART BELONGS TO AKIRA

 **kunimeme** : FUCK

 **GodzillaBoy** : heck

 **GodzillaBoy** : i thought the night in the rose garden meant something to you kindaichi

 **kindamnichi** : im sorry im a married man

 **kindamnichi** : i have a child

 **GodzillaBoy** : s o im just your WHORE THEN

 **kindamnichi** : yes

 **kunimeme** : wjy am i laughign so ahrd

 **shippingtrash** : i cnat breagthee

 **OrangeFucker** : i just walked by the girls changing room and yachi is actually cryign shimizu senpai is concerned

 **shippingtrash** : KIYOKO

 **BlueberryFucker** : ca n i ask about the plans for today

 **yamagucci** : YES i made an itinerary

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : How cute

 **yamagucci** : OKAY so we leave practice and meet kinkuni @ froyo palace

 **kunimeme** : hot damn

 **kindamnichi** : we're referred to as a ship name

 **kunimeme** : idk how to feel about this

 **yamagucci** : NEXT there is an arcade that tsukki adn i have all the highscores for that i wanna show off

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : SOMEONE IS ONE POINT OFF OF BEATING MY PACMAN SCORE I will not stand for this

 **Thirst** : so sit down

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : YOURE SHARKBOY AREN'T YOU

 **Thirst** : that i be

 **Thirst** : im coming for you

 **CreamyBoy** : hjde yrou kuds hife ypur wife

 **CreamyBoy** : whatcha gnona dp wharca gonnq di wbem hw coesm for oyu

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I need to pick up change

 **yamagucci** : i have a sock full of change i was bringing to the arcade

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Sugar daddy

 **yamagucci** : Suga Mommy

 **shippingtrash** : sjjshjshj

 **yamagucci** : ok so then after that we meet my animals

 **OrangeFucker** : oh we should play a game of volleyball too!!!

 **yamagucci** : yeah then i'll actually get to play

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I am like right next to Ukai you're making me want to kick him

 **yamagucci** : ;^)

 **kindamnichi** : playing vb sounds fun

 **kunimeme** : if we play volleyball twice in one day i might die

 **kindamnichi** : :(

 **BlueberryFucker** : kunimi one set

 **kunimeme** : i will physically die

 **kindamnichi** : pls

 **kunimeme** : guys my boyfriend is trying to kill me

 **shippingtrash** : kunimi akira found dead in miami

 **kindamnichi** : BABE NO

 **kunimeme** : ill haunt the shit out of yuutarou

 **kunimeme** : and oikawa

 **AlienBoy** : What did I do?

 **kunimeme** : idk

 **AlienBoy** : Hajime is the one having the affair with Kin-Chan

 **AlienBoy** : Iwa-Chan**

 **GodzillaBoy** : it's weirder when you correct it afterwards

 **AlienBoy** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **OrangeFucker** : obviously if we play then we have to include yachi

 **OrangeFucker** : i once made her help me with receives shes actually really good #liberoyachi

 **OrangeFucker** : but there would be seven of us thats not enough

 **OrangeFucker** : we could bring the other seijohoes if you guy are up for it

 **OrangeFucker** : we could make the losers pay for something for the winners

 **OrangeFucker** : icecream

 **OrangeFucker** : but we already would have gotten froyo

 **OrangeFucker** : wtf why is no one answering

 **OrangeFucker** : evidently, my messages arent sending

 **OrangeFucker** : tobio hi

 **OrangeFucker** : this is stressing me out

 **OrangeFucker** : its had to been at least nine years since ive spoken to anyone

 **OrangeFucker** : the walls are closing in on me

 **OrangeFucker** : bert the coconut is my only friend

 **OrangeFucker** : oh heck now they are

 **BlueberryFucker** : hi shouyou

 **CreamyBoy** : im ofgended tgat ypu callef ys seijohoes

 **OrangeFucker** : it autod to that

 **AlienBoy** : IT AUTOS BECAUSE YOU USE IT A LOT

 **kunimeme** : im not that offended

 **kunimeme** : we call you guys crow fuckers

 **OrangeFucker:** better than flightless crows what the fuck

 **BlueberryFucker** : watch ur lang

 **BlueberryFucker** : i regret sending that so much how do i delet

 **kunimeme** : watch ur lang

 **shippingtrash** : watch ur lang

 **kindamnichi** : watch ur lang

 **AlienBoy** : watch ur lang

 **GodzillaBoy** : watch ur lang

 **Thirst** : watch ur lang

 **CreamyBoy** : wtcah ur lsng

 **bubblegumbitch** : watch ur lang

 **matsin** : watch ur lang

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : watch ur lang

 **yamagucci** : watch ur lang

 **OrangeFucker** : watch ur lang

 **BlueberryFucker** : im unfollowing you all on instagram

 **yamagucci** : do it hoe

 **BlueberryFucker** : someone help me expose yamaguchi i got those receipts

 **shippingtrash** : kags is so sassy today im laughing

 **shippingtrash** : f uck its almsot seven yamaguchi finish the itinerary

 **yamagucci** : FUCK um ok so meet my pets, play vb ig - much to kunimis dismay - then we can like idk watch movies and i have twister? + other boardgames and then someone has to walk their ass down to this pizza place personally i vote the fuckers, and then my parents get home around midnight or later so we can just dick around until then

 **shippingtrash** : i was so confused by waht you meant by the fuckers and then i remembered HAH

 **GodzillaBoy** : the short lived moments when everyone said heck is missed

 **AlienBoy** : Fucking suffer

 **GodzillaBoy** : i am

 **kunimeme** : shit boi!!

 **shippingtrash** : AHH

 **shippingtrash** : yams y do ur parents get home so late wtf

 **yamagucci** : my mom is an anesthesiologist and my dad is a surgeon idk they r nicce ppl just vv busy but it ok they love me

 **shippingtrash** : AWE

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Also, when he feel neglected my mom just kind of

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Mother Hens

 **shippingtrash** : shit i need 2 meet ur mom

 **OrangeFucker** : daichi is yelling idk where tanaka ennoshita are but ik where yachi is get ur BUM IN HERE

 **shippingtrash** : AHHHH

 **BlueberryFucker** : i bet ennoshita and tanaka are making out

 **OrangeFucker** : PROBABLY

 

\---------

 

Hitoka brings a hand up to block the sun from her eyes as she exits the clubroom, a backpack heavy on her shoulders. She was comfortably warm, in her dark blue sweatshirt, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, and black leggings. Shouyou, of course, shouts at her as soon as he and the other three boys spot her. "Yachi! It's, like, thirty-two degrees out, you're going to die!"

She shrugs. "I have something to change into when we play later. I'm good, you gay."

"What does my sexuality have to do with anything?" He waits a moment. "And I'm pan?"

Hitoka laughs and shrugs again. "You're just... Gay." She walks up to join the rest of her entourage. "Now, let's go meet my two _favorite_ gays."

Kei makes a sound. "I thought that was me." He says, playfully miffed.

"Yes, of course, the single person is my favorite gays."

"Shut up."

Hitoka nudges Shouyou's arm before saying. "Exposing Tsukishima Kei: Actually two gays."

Shouyou giggles and then nudges Hitoka back. "Gay to the power of two."

"Gay squared." Tadashi adds in.

Tobio repeats him, agreeing. "Gay squared."

Kei looks from his freckled fiend of a friend, to the human embodiment of tangerines and sunshine, then to the emo blueberry one, and finally The Lesbian, and spoke. "Do any of you know what gay squared would even _be_?"

"Yes," Tobio says, Kei gives him a look, as if to ask 'okay, what then?' and Tobio continues. "The answer would be: Tsukishima Kei."

Kei is silent for a moment before speaking and walking away towards the front gates. "I'm blocking all of you on Instagram."

 

\----------

 

 **kindamnichi** : kuni

 **kindamnichi** : nimi

 **kindammichi** : miniminimini

 **kunimeme** : stp i cnat

 **shippingtrash** waht

 **kunimeme** : we were leaving practice and this girl in my class saw me and wanted me to introduce her to oikawa ok

 **AlienBoy** : How flattering

 **kunimeme** : but so she couldnt remember my name so i pretended to be offended or whatever

 **kunimeme** : and then shes like "pssssssst kindaichi pssssssst whats ur bfs name" and hes like "akira?" and then shes like "omg no if i cant remember his family name what makes u think i can call him that" even tho i dont rly care

 **shippingtrash** : gonna call u akira from now on

 **kunimeme** : ok hitoka

 **shippingtrash** : jshsjs

 **kunimeme** : but so then yuutarou is like "oh his name is kuni....nimi...miniminimi" and i think i cried

 **kunimeme** : shes upset w us but idrc

 **shippingtrash** : i fucking

 **kunimeme** : she glared at us HAH

 **kunimeme** : and then shes like "fucking gays" and i

 **shippingtrash** : wtf was it meant to be like

 **shippingtrash** : rude?

 **kindamnichi** : it felt like it?

 **AlienBoy** : Tell her I don't like her and never will

 **kunimeme** : HAH

 **kindamnichi** : ill fight her

 **kunimeme** : oh yuutarou

 **kunimeme** : when ur aggressive it makes my meat suit all dewy

 **shippingtrash** : sshsjsjsjhs

 **shippingtrash** : notices your bulge OwO whats this

 

 **kunimeme** has removed **shippingtrash** from **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **kindamnichi** : A KIRA NO

 **kunimeme** : fucking furry

 **OrangeFucker** : OH MY GOd

 **OrangeFucker** : yachi wants to say osmething

 **kunimeme** : ok

 **OrangeFucker** : listen here you mother fucking dry piece of kale i will not be SHAMED by you and your HYPOCRISY I HAVE THE SCREEN SHOTS

 **kunimeme** : dry piece of kale

 **kunimeme** : wait what screenshots

 **OrangeFucker** : you were drunk or stoned or both idk

 **kunimeme** : ??

 **kunimeme** : oh wait

 **kunimeme** : FUCK

 **kunimeme** : hitoka i told you that in CONFIDENCE

 

_OrangeFucker has sent an image_

 

 **kunimeme** : NO

 **kunimeme** : WHY DOES HINATA HAVE THOSE ON HIS PHONE

 **OrangeFucker** : YOU CANNOT SILENCE ME    

 **kindamnichi** : i dont want to wear cat ears in bed

 **kunimeme** : I WAS HGIH HWAWEUIH

 **kunimeme** : IM BOT A FURRY

 **OrangeFucker** : LIES

 

_kunimeme is now furryguy37_

 

 **furryguy37** : PELASE

 **kindamnichi** : i still love you?

 **kindamnichi** : maybe

 **furryguy37** : THIS IS CIRCUMSTANTIAL

 **AlienBoy** : A list of things I didn't want to know about my Kouhai

 **AlienBoy** : 1.) Kunimi-Chan's a furry

 **furryguy37** : I HAVE BEEN FRAMED

 

_OrangeFucker has sent an image_

 

 **GodzillaBoy** : "hed look cute as like a neko yacho"

 **furryguy37** : GUYS STOP

 

_furryguy37 is now IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY_

 

 **IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY** : pls

 **kindamnichi** : im not gonna dress up as a cat ok

 **OrangeFucker** : dont fwm ok ill leave u a charred mess

 **IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY** : you ruined my life

 **OrangeFucker** : love u

 

_OrangeFucker has sent an image_

 

 **OrangeFucker** : redemption

 **IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY** : IVE BEEN TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT

 **kindamnichi** : you had to take an online quiz

 **kindamnichi** : why do they make quizzes like that

 **IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY** : to prove it to hitoka

 **OrangeFucker** : ;)

 

 **IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY** has added **shippingtrash** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

_IM NOT A FUCKING FURRY is now kunimeme_

 

 **kunimeme** : i see u fucks

 **OrangeFucker** : and we see you

 **OrangeFucker** : this is hinata again btw

 **shippingtrash** : furry

 **kunimeme** : STOP THAT

 

\----------

 

Akira is leaned against the 'Froyo Palace' building, hand in hand with Yuutarou. Hitoka shrieks when she sees them and dashes up towards Akira. "My fave furry!" She shouts.

Akira pulls away from Yuutarou. "I'm not a fucking furry, we've been _over_ this. _Hitoka_." Akira says, already tired. Tobio stands off to the side. "If anyone should be kinkshamed, it's Kageyama."

Tobio shakes his head. "No, I'm not going to be apart of this." He points to the shop. "Can we just get froyo and not discuss Kunimi's kinks."

"I'm not a furry."

"A lie if I've ever heard one," Pipes in Kei, who gets a sudden glare from Akira.

He speaks with a blank voice, but fire in his eyes. "Tsukishima... You _hoe_ , you don't even _know_ me. You know _nothing_ about my life, I'll kink shame you and your S and M relationship you have going on with Yamaguchi over there. Kink. Shamed. Fuck outta my face."

Kei blinks, looks to Tadashi for a moment, then back to Akira. "At least I'm not a furry."

"That's it, I'm calling Iwaizumi-san to come pick me up I'm not having fun anymore." Akira looks to Yuutarou. "And I'm breaking up with you."

"Why?"

"You're not defending my fucking honor."

This is when Shouyou steps in, wide eyed, possibly not understanding that this is solely sarcastic assholes bonding. "Guys. Don't fight, and Kunimi, don't break up with Turnip-Kun."

Yuutarou fires his own look to Shouyou. "It's _hair_. I work on this every morning only to be _ridiculed_."

Hitoka nods and then gently touches Yuutarou's shoulder. "Why do this to yourself?"

"I tried one time to just live with my hair... Down."

"And?"

"I think Akira cried."

Hitoka turns to Akira. He's wearing his XXL red sweatshirt, matching her blue one. "I cannot believe I'm best friends with a gay furry with a hair gel kink."

"I can't believe I haven't _flung myself off of a fucking building already_."

Quietly, Tadashi finally speaks. "I can't believe it's not butter."

Akira giggles. Not too loudly and not too quietly, but he giggles. Snorting laughs while Hitoka is partially trying to figure out what exactly was so funny, Yuutarou is falling even more hopelessly in love, and Kei is stiffling his own laughter. "Okay. I'm back." Akira says finally. "I want to see the highscores Yamaguchi was talking about."

Aimlessly, Tadashi and Akira begin a conversation with stories of the highscores that were especially tricky for Kei and Tadashi to succesfully beat, but did anyways, when Tobio suddenly interrupts. "Froyo." He says.

Yuutarou looks confused, in the slightest, but confused. "What?" He asks.

"Froyo. I want froyo."

Hitoka and Shouyou exchange brief glances, as if she's silently asking him, 'Why?' and Shouyou is sliently replying with, 'I have no idea.'

"We can get froyo right after," Hitoka says. "Won't be the end of the world, Kags, now c'mon!"

"I was looking forward to the froyo." Tadashi nods in agreement.

Yuutarou is putting an arm around Akira when he drops the bomb. "Well, at least you've got your _Frouyou_." Akira flicks him in the arm.

"I feel embarrassed to refer to you gays as my squad."

"Gays?" Akira asks.

"Guys. Sorry, auto correct."

"This is a verbal--"

"That meme is stale. You've been chopped." Kei mutters as he walks inside the arcade, distancing himself from the rest as he sets a beeline for the Pac-Man machine.

Akira is giving Hitoka a soft pat on the shoulder, as she mutters something about how _she_ still likes the meme. Kei is suddenly ranting.

"Look at this shit." Kei says suddenly, the aforementioned squad looks over to see him gesturing to the Pac-Man machine. Printed clearly on the screen, with a black background and neon green lettering, state the words 'Tsukishima Kei' following next to it, read a score of '8,702,832.' He then points to what is directly below that, which said 'sharkboy' and across from that '8,702,831.' Kei looks over to the nearest person, Akira, and continues. "Fucking... What's his name? Watery? Fuckin' I'll kick his ass. I'll kick that bastard's ass in volleyball, in real life, fuckin' Pac-Man. Not even worried about it. Fuckin' come at me, you God damn Water Logged Chestnut."

Akira looks away from the Pac-Man machine to Kei. "You know he's not here right? Like, he can't hear you. You understand, right."

"Did I ask you?"

"Kind of."

Kei ends up turning away from Akira, and then looks to Tadashi. He outstretches his hand. "Give me some change." He says.

"I'm not your sugar daddy." Tadashi mutters, pulling out his wallet, regardless. "I'm going to expect a pay back. With interest." He whispers, leaning in close to Kei.

Kei leaned an inched forward to Tadashi, the space between them short. "Obviously." He says.

Tadashi stays where he is for a moment, staring at his friend for a few seconds, before taking a sudden step back. Hitoka saw the event play out and pulled Akira with her to grab Tadashi. "Hey, let's play Dance Dance Revolution!" She shouts happily. "Akira and Kindaichi against you and me, okay?"

Tadashi looks back to Kei for a moment, who is snapping at Tobio _don't touch the fucking buttons, you deadbeat blueberry_ , and then looks to Hitoka, Akira, and now Yuutarou. "Yeah, sure. Let's play."

 

\----------

_shippingtrash has sent a video_

 

 **shippingtrash** : remember whe nyamaguchi said he had the highscore for like half the games in the arcade and tsukishima had them for the other half

 **shippingtrash** : LOOKA T HIM GO

 **AlienBoy** : Kunimi-Chan is like

 **AlienBoy** : Fast?

 **AlienBoy** : You can go like Sanic at DDR

 **AlienBoy** : But you can't actually try at volleyball practice okay

 **GodzillaBoy** : sanic

 **AlienBoy** : Sonic* Leave me alone

 **GodzillaBoy** : s a n i c

 **AlienBoy** : GO AWAY

 **GodzillaBoy** : i'll name my first born child sanic

 **AlienBoy** : I WILL SCREECH AND DISTURB THE RESTING SUROGATE

 **GodzillaBoy** : surogate

 **AlienBoy** : Yes, because you and I will get married and have three children. A girl and twin boys.

 **GodzillaBoy** : um

 **GodzillaBoy** : i know we agreed on three but

 **GodzillaBoy** : i want all girls

 **GodzllaBoy** : we can dress them up in cute little dress and bows and i can call them princess

 **AlienBoy** : I want a son so I can teach him to go against gender roles YOU'RE INFORCING THEM

 **GodzillaBoy** : ONLY AS BABIES

 **shippingtrash** : have a boy and twin girls

 **shippingtrash** : compromise

 **kindamnichi** : GUYS AKIRA SET A NEW HIGHSCORE

 

_kindamnichi has sent a video_

 

 **GodzillaBoy** : THE SCREAM

 **kindamnichi** : IDK IF THAT WAS FROM YAMAGUCHI OR AKIRA IM

 **kindamnichi** : boy and twin girls sounds good

 **OrangeFucker** : why have iwaizumi and grand king agreed to get married and have children

 **AlienBoy** : Because no one is good enough for Hajime

 **AlienBoy** : Also, Oh My God. Stop calling me Grand King, holy shit

 **GodzillaBoy** : because no one is ever gonna want to marry tooru

 **GodzillaBoy** : okay that makes me seem like a jerk listen we both agreed when asked wed say because no one would ever want to marry the other you have to believe me

 **shippingtrash** : lies oikawa is the only pure one in iwaoi

 **AlienBoy** : FINALLY

 **BlueberryFucker** : idk whats happening but guys tsukishima is almost about to beat his highscore on pacman i am so interested ive never seen anyone go on for this long

 **BlueberryFucker** : name the baby boy after me

 **AlienBoy** : No, fuck you. I'll name him after Kin-Chan

 **kindamnichi** : omg thanks

 **AlienBoy** : Send a video of the Pac-Man game

 **GodzillaBoy** : name your son hajime and we have a deal

 **kindamnichi** : waht the fuck senpai

 **GodzillaBoy** : send a video of the pac man game

 **GodzillaBoy** : sorry kindaichi

 

\----------

 

"Tsukki!" Tadashi screams as he finally reaches the Pac-Man machine. "I lost DDR. It was a hard battle, I'm sorry."

Kei, who was fully invested in protecting the _Yellow-Mother-Fucking-Bitch-Ass-Cock-Sucking-Devil-Pac-Man_ , did not exactly hear what Tadashi had said and barely offered a response. "Yeah. Okay- _Fuck_ , I have _two_ lives and I will not _fucking_ die!"

Tadashi stood off to the side, next to Tobio. "I don't think he heard me."

"He might kill you when he finds out."

Tadashi looked like God himself just threatened his life. "But." He starts, swallowing hard. "But someone in the _squad_ has the highscore."

Tobio shrugs. "If you think that will save your life then fine. Go on a hunch. I won't come to your funeral."

Rather than suddenly bolt - dragging Akira behind him for emphasise, of course - Tadashi just stared at Tobio. "What the fuck, Kageyama?"

Before he found answer, Hitoka was shoving passed them. "I need to take a video for the chat-- Kindaichi, move. Please. You're literally the tallest here, I am the _shortest_." Instead of moving, Yuutarou made a motion towards Hitoka, who nodded. In a fast grab, he'd lifted her by her armpits and raised her above the other's heads - Lion King style. "This is perfect." She says.

\----------

_shippingtrash has sent a video_

 

 **shippingtrash** : holy shit

 **shippingtrash** : tsukishima has skills look at him

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You can hear the panties dropping

 **kunimeme** : those were mine

 **kindamnichi** : u m

 **kunimeme** : IM KIDDING

 **kindamnichi** : I KNWO

 **AlienBoy** : What's the score now?

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : 10,003,213

 **GodzillaBoy** : jesus christ

 **GodzillaBoy** : if volleyball doesnt work out you know what to do now huh

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : My safety net is Pac-Man

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm surprisingly okay with this?

 **yamagucci** : i'm not i need a rich spouse to leech off of and if my hand is promised to you,,,

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Welp

 **CreamyBoy** : are we metenig yrt?

 **shippingtrash** : no we just got froyo

 

_shippingtrash has sent an image_

 

 **shippingtrash** : idk where hinata nad kags are they might be making out in the alley

 **OrangeFucker** : ...dude

 **shippingtrash** : o h

 **shippingtrash** : i was wrong

 **OrangeFucker** : yeah

 **OrangeFucker** : also, like, tobio is demi like

 **BlueberryFucker** : hah yeah anyways

 **BlueberryFucker** : we were buying snacks for you fucks

 **kunimeme** : youre suddenly my favorite

 **BlueberryFucker** : <3

 

\---------

 

 **kindamnichi** : babe

 **kunimeme** : hmm

 **kindamnichi** : i wrote you a song

 **shippingtrash** : waht

 **kindamnichi** : i love you

 **kindamnichi** : bitch

 **kunimeme** : omg

 **kindamnichi** : aint ever gonna stop loving you

 **kindamnichi** : bitch

 **kunimeme** : that was amazing

 **kunimeme** : who says romance is dead

 **GodzillaBoy** : anyone that says kinkuni romance is dead is just

 **GodzillaBoy** : wrong

 **AlienBoy** : Why don't I have something like that

 **GodzillaBoy** : because you suck

 **AlienBoy** : Exactly, why don't I have something like that ;(

 **BlueberryFucker** : because you have an awful personality

 **BlueberryFucker** : nice kill tobio

 **AlienBoy** : I

 **AlienBoy** : Did you just compliment yourself?

 **AlienBoy** : And use a volleyball phrase?

 **BlueberryFucker** : ya wanna fight about it

 **CreamyBoy** : fgiht fihgt fihgt

 **AlienBoy** : Hell yeach I wanna fight about it

 **BlueberryFucker** : i have shouyou though

 **BlueberryFucker** : hes merciless

 **AlienBoy** : Oooh I'm so scared of Chibi-Chan

 **AlienBoy** : You still can't beat me in volleyball FUCKER

 **OrangeFucker** : ill set fire to everything you love

 **AlienBoy** : OHMYGOD

 **AlienBoy** : I have Hajime

 **GodzillaBoy** : i'm a pacifist

 **AlienBoy** : Fuck

\----------

 

 **GodzillaBoy** : *tooru, swinging from my ceiling fan* iwa chan

 **GodzillaBoy** : *me, swatting at him with a broom* how did you get in my house

 **AlienBoy** : Wow

 **AlienBoy** : Not only is this slanderous, but this is factually and morally untrue

 **CreamyBoy** : ti instt tgouhh

 **AlienBoy** : Everyone is out to get me

 **AlienBoy** : I don't have a single true friend in this world

 **GodzillaBoy** : you know i'm only teasing

 **AlienBoy** : A p o l o g i z e

 **GodzillaBoy** : i'm sorry, tooru

 **AlienBoy** : Thank you, Hajime (^▽^)

 **GodzillaBoy** : but i feel this is a good time to bring up that you actually did the ceiling fan thing

 **AlienBoy** : S l a n d e r

 **CreamyBoy** : yoo tdol me tjis story oiwkaa

 **AlienBoy** : Fuck

 **shippingtrash** : i have to hear this

 **shippingtrash** : also shame akira for me ok

 

_shippingtrash has sent an image_

 

 **shippingtrash** : we were making fun of him for getting vanilla froyo and he got pineapple birthday cake i am  a p p a l e d

 **Thirst** : i'm coming to kill him

 **shippingtrash** : thank you

 **shippingtrash** : now trash tell the story

 **shippingtrash** : oikawa**

 **AlienBoy** : Somehow I fail to believe that was autocorrect

 **shippingtrash** : u caught me ive been talking to iwazumi too much

 **AlienBoy** : Anyways, you heathens

 **AlienBoy** : We were like ten and Iwa-Chan betted I couldn't climb onto his ceiling fan

 **AlienBoy** : But I'm like, "I so can do that"

 **AlienBoy** : So while he's gone getting snacks, or whatever, I climb up there

 **AlienBoy** : Then it starts to swing I'm like "Well, fuck."

 **AlienBoy** : So he comes back and I scream "IWA-CHAN" and he does nothing but SWAT AT ME WITH HIS BROOM

 **AlienBoy** : Which lead to the wing of the fan breaking

 **GodzillaBoy** : we still haven't fixed that

 **AlienBoy** : Hah bitch suffer

 

\----------

 

 **AlienBoy** : I find it so funny whenever animes take honorifics and Americanized them

 **AlienBoy** : Like someone using "upper classmen" instead of Senpai is okay but sometimes it'll be "Big sis" instead of Nii-Chan and I

 **GodzillaBoy** : why do you know how they're Americanized

 **AlienBoy** : I've been watch snk Junior High subbed and crying over Marco 

 **GodzillaBoy** : tooru your first language is japanese

 **GodzillaBoy** : why use subbed

 **shippingtrash** : e x t r a 

 **AlienBoy** : Plot twist, that's literally the only reason I'm good at English

 **shippingtrash** : ohmygof

 **AlienBoy** : Maybe if you guys did the same you'd be passing English

 **bubblegumbitch** : SEIJOH BOY TELL EM

 **matsin** : MMMMMM

 **kunimeme** : HHSHSH

 **shippingtrash** : m FUCKING CYRUIGN

 **shippingtrash** : SEIJOH BOY TELL EM

 **kindamnchi** : yachi is currently sat on my shoulders and idk if shes gonna fall or pee herself senpai why

 **AlienBoy** : OHMYGOD

 **GodzillaBoy** : if she falls im holding you liable

 **kindamnichi** : but of course

 

\----------

 

 **GodzillaBoy** : hey when are we coming b?

 **yamagucci** : umm we're almost to my house you guys wanna just meet us there?

 **GodzillaBoy** : yeah sure

 **yamagucci** : ok i'll pm my address

 **bubblegumbitch** : I just remembered Yamaguchi almost gave Iwaizumi a blowjob

 **yamagucci** : OHYMOGF

 **GodzillaBoy** : wait

 **GodzillaBoy** : was that what you guys wanted me to do with you

 **GodzillaBoy** : after we beat karasuno

 **matsin** : Yes

 **GodzillaBoy** : i didn't know what a blowjob was then

 **GodzillaBoy** : i'd of been so confused

 **yamagucci** : i would have  e x p l a i n e d

 **GodzillaBoy** : still

 **GodzillaBoy** : if i hadn't had to meet my granny i'd of gotten a blowjob

 **GodzillaBoy** : that is so weird to think about

 **AlienBoy** : GRANNY

 **AlienBoy** : Fuck I have to see her

 **GodzillaBoy** : she's visiting people in tokyo

 **AlienBoy** : AHH

 **shippingtrash** : what did you see ur granny abt

 **GodzillaBoy** : we're in a knitting circle

 **bubblegumbitch** : I thought you were kidding about having to knit

 **GodzillaBoy** : why would i kid about knitting

 **CreamyBoy** : mmm knititnng

 **shippingtrash** : omg i kinda understood what he was saying

 **CreamyBoy** : tjis hot gyu i wsa tslikng to coudlnt undeestsnd waht i wss saiyng om mainkg na efrfot

 **shippingtrash** : thank you

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : He's blessed us

 **OrangeFucker** : i didnt know how to explain i rarely could actually tell what creamy boy was saying

 **shippingtrash** : c r e a m y b o y

 **kindamnichi** : HE one cr ea my bO Y sl ur p

 **kunimeme** : yuutaoru in cyring

 **kindamnichi** : NO

 **OrangeFucker** : oh yeah but teams!?

 **OrangeFucker** : we could make up fun names! like.... lightening raptors

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : That is so

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Cool

 **OrangeFucker** : i know right???

 **kindamnichi** : yknow what if instead of team names, we had code names

 **kunimeme** : no stop i know what youre doing

 **kindamnichi** : what

 **kunimeme** : you told me last night while you got second hand

 **kindamnichi** : IS THAT WAS THAT WAS 

 **kunimeme** : omg

 **kunimeme** : yes

 **BlueberryFucker** : why is he so

 **BlueberryFucker** : shocked

 **OrangeFucker** : it feels like i'm texting lev

 **BlueberryFucker** : HAH

 **kunimeme** : i was smoking weed

 **kunimeme** : you were two feet away from me

 **kunimeme** : you ate all my snacks

 **kindamnichi** : OMG

 **shippingtrash** : this is the best

 

_shippingtrash has sent an image_

 

 **shippingtrash** : he looks so shocked jsjshjhsjhsjs

 **GodzillaBoy** : one time i tutored kunimi in math

 **kunimeme** : omg

 **GodzillaBoy** : and he's just like "mind if i light up" and im like "cigarettes?" and hes like "no marijuana"

 **GodzillaBoy** : and i think he got me high too

 **kunimeme** : im an extremely bad influence on peopel im sorry

 **GodzillaBoy** : it's okay

 **AlienBoy** : No it's not, Kunimi-Chan you're banned from ever talking to Hajime ever

 **kunimeme** : fair enough

 **GodzillaBoy** : tooru he just blocked me

 **GodzillaBoy** : i'm gonna text him to unblock me

 **GodzillaBoy** : guys he blocked my number

 **shippingtrash** : HAH

 **kindamnichi** : ill tell him to unblock

 **GodzillaBoy** : thank you

 **kunimeme** : im back senpai

 **GodzillaBoy** : i missed you

 **kunimeme** : i missed you too

 **shippingtrash** : i wanna hear the code names

 **kindamnichi** : YES

 **kindamnichi** : okay you'll address me as eagle one 

 **kunimeme** : yuutarou no

 **kindamnichi** : kageyama is been there done that

 **BlueberryFucker** : you never did this

 **kindamnichi** : akira is currently doing that

 **kunimeme** : not anymore if you continue this stale ass meme

 **kindamnichi** : iwaizumi is happened once in a dream

 **GodzillaBoy** : thanks

 **kindamnichi** : yachi is if i had to pick a lesbian

 **shippingtrash** : sir im going to have to ask you to refrain

 **kunimeme** : r e f r a i n

 **kindamnichi** : and tsukishima is eagle two

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : What the fuck

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Am I not good looking enough to sleep with

 **kindamnichi** : it's for the joke p l  e a se

 **kunimeme** : tell him youd sleep with him

 **kindamnichi** : WHAT

 **kunimeme** : you have my permission fix his confidence you've shattered it

 **kindamnichi** : u m

 

_yamagucci has sent a video_

 

 **yamagucci** : "tsukishima i would totally sleep with you and all but im married to akira"

 **kunimeme** : it is so strange to see you use 'akira'

 **shippingtrash** : fuck up akira

 **kunimeme** : bite me hitoka

 

_kindamnichi has sent a video_

 

 **kindamnichi** : yachi im the only one allowed to bite akira

 **GodzillaBoy** : u m

 **bubblegumbitch** : kinkuni is kinky

 **CreamyBoy** : ist litrrlaly in tehir nsme

 **matsin** : KINKuni

 **kindamnichi** : yamaguchi can i make some spaghetti when i get to your house

 **yamagucci** : what

 **kindamnichi** : i need to make spaghetti

 **kindamnichi** : to forgetti

 **kindamnichi** : my regretti

 **kunimeme** : s t o p

 **kindamnichi** : my jokes are great  f u ck you

 **kunimeme** : you were too stoned to do that last night

 **AlienBoy** : They don't talk to us at practice

 **AlienBoy** : Do you understand how weird this is

 **bubblegumbitch** : kunimi talks to issei and i all the time

 **GodzillaBoy** : I have a 157 day streak with kunimi on snapchat

 **shippingtrash** : omg iwaizumi add me

 **shippingtrash** : its yacho

 **kunimeme** : dumb name

 **shippingtrash** : akira's is 'furryguy37'

 **kunimeme** : FUCK

 **kunimeme** : stop THat

 

\----------

 

 **shippingtrash** : hey the guys r here i let them in we couldnt find u so

 **yamagucci** : i'm such a bad host wtf

 **shippingtrash** : ur pretty dope idk

 **yamagucci** : was that a bts reference?

 **shippingtrash** : B^)

 **yamagucci** : mmm jhope

 **yamagucci** : guest right snacks are out there time to use up all of my social energy for a couple hours of friendliness

 **shippingtrash** : oh god, mood

 

\----------

 

 **shippingtrash** : i see u... i see that look

 **shippingtrash** : power bottom seme kunimi lmao

 **OrangeFucker** : yachi i think you have the wrong person

 **shippingtrash** : OHYMGOD

 **shippingtrash** : HINATA IM SO SORRY DJSDJDSJKS

 **OrangeFucker** : u m

 

\----------

 

 **shippingtrash** : im crying i meant to send you 'power bottom seme kunimi' but i sent it to hinata accidently im fully in tears

 **kunimeme** : oh sweet moses

 **shippingtrash** : i done gone diddly darn gone done FUCKED UP

 **kunimeme** : WHEEZE

 

\----------

 

"Power bottom, Seme Kunimi?" Shouyou asks.

Tobio chokes on his drink, whilst asking, "Where did you learn those words?"

Akira glances over from his spot on the the couch, legs over Hitoka's lap, and then looks to her. "I've been exposed." He says.

"I already did expose you, like, literally two days ago."

Then Takahiro is laughing, nudging Issei. "You owe me, like, 300 Yen."

Issei nudges him back. "I will gladly pay that. I _wanted_ you to be right."

When Hajime is finally shook from his horror that his pure, innocent, young Kouhai have been having _sex_ , of all things, he chokes out. "What were you betting on?"

"That Kindaichi, in fact, did fuck Kunimi that night we asked them to lock up the gym."

"Technically, I only admitted to being a bottom. Jury's still out on whether we did sleep together that night." Akira says with a shit eating grin and Hitoka is _screeching_.

Takahiro shakes Yuutarou's shoulder. "But you totally did right? Because, I want my money."

Yuutarou looks up to his friends and teammates stares and blinks. "I'm going to be completely honest with you guys right now." He says, Takahiro leans in. "I've been so focused on eating this cupcake, what are we even talking about right now?"

Hitoka howls, in tears. "He's such a turnip." She says, practically sobbing on Akira's shoulder.

"Turnip-Kun." Shouyou says quietly from his corner, Tobio is shaking with laughter.

"The cupcakes are really good, though." Hajime nods.

Tooru reaches over towards Hajime and snatches half of his cupcake, much to Hajime sudden dismay. He doesn't even make an initial grab for him to stop, he only watches sadly as his cupcake is eaten. "These are good. Whipped cream icing, moist... Did Aone bake these? Because, _Jesus_."

Yuutarou finds Akira's gaze. "Why is everyone so gentle with the cupcakes, but so rough with my feelings." He asks quietly.

"I haven't said anything about you being a turnip, babe." Akira says, rolling off the couch and hitting the floor. He crawls over to where Yuutarou sits and leans against his legs. "I've only ever been rough with you in the bedroom."

"I don't need to learn these things about my Kouhais." Says Hajime, somberly.

"I do," Tooru says. " _Plenty_ of blackmail."

Akira's head rolls on his shoulders and looks over to Tooru. "Oikawa, you're my captain and my Senpai. This is very important to me that you understand those are the only reasons I'm not flipping you off right now."

Tooru turns to Hajime, a hurt expression on his face. "I'm fucking offended," He says.

"Tooru, I think that was what Kunimi was trying to do," Hajime replies. He suddenly looks to the ungodly fat cat that began to strut into the room. "Oh my God," He says. "Who is this lovely boy?"

Frenchfry meows, a long drawed out purr followed. He takes a few steps in the direction of Hajime, before making the sudden turn and darting to Kei. Kei then collected the cat, a satisfied look on his face. " _This_ ," Kei starts. "Is Frenchfry. The only thing in this world I truly love." The cat purrs again. He nudges his nose against Kei's hand and the young man rubbed his palm against the side of the feline's face.

"I love him," Hajime says.

"I'd be offended if you didn't," Kei says, in total seriousness.

Tadashi, sat over near Issei and Takahiro, starts to make a quiet whisper sound in the direct of the hallway behind them. Sure enough, quickly following his - granted, _weird_ \- sounds, a thin, significantly younger cat runs out of one of the bedrooms. "That's Strawberry-"

"Keep that demon thing away from me," Kei says, Frenchfry had clambered away

from the boy's grasp and since crawled into Hajime's lap. The older look close to tears, silently telling Tooru to take a picture.

Strawberry softly walks across the room, the teenagers held their breaths as Strawberry sniffed at Hitoka's ankle and stared for a minute, before she said to Kei, "Didn't you say you were going to ask Strawberry's permission to hold them?" She asked.

Kei stared at the girl, and then the cat. "Well... Okay, what the hell's the harm..." He turns towards the cat and crouchs a little. "Erm-Strawberry?" He asks.

The cat looks up to the impossibly tall boy. Strawberry blinks for a moment and then tilts their head, almost as if they're listening to Kei. "Is it okay if I hold you?"

Strawberry, much as expected, did nothing in response. Still, though, the cat sat still and Kei made a grab anyways. Unlike the other times Kei's tried to hold Strawberry, they sat peacefully in his arms and even - dare he say it - enjoy it.

Tadashi is first to speak. "Oh my Christ," He says. "Who would of thought that you really just needed permission to hold Strawberry." He turns to Tobio and Shouyou.

Tobio shrugs. "Consent's important," He says. There's an agreeing hum washing over the room.

Takahiro waits a second. "So," He begins. "Volleyball?" He asks.

A few moments, everyone gave each other looks before another wave of 'nah's hit each person. There were a few hesitant ones, some people - who will remain unnamed (It was Tobio and Shouyou) - that attempted to convince the rest, but in the end, it was decided no body felt like playing volleyball.

Not too soon after, the older Seijoh students decided to take their leave, nodding to the youngers and thanking them for the hospitality. Tadashi finally turned to the rest, firstly looking to Kei, who was still holding Strawberry close to his chest. "Movie?" He asks. 

 

\----------

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'm not having any fun anymore Mom come pick me up

 **GodzillaBoy** : I just got home what the heck happened?

 **yamagucci** : they were picking a movie while i made popcorn n stuff and tsukki was like "lets watch jurassic park" and everyone was like "no" and then he was like "do it" and everyone was like "no" quieter this time and then i was like "i forgot jurassic park at ur house tsukki" and hes POUTING i think he took strawberry

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'll take Strawberry with me fuck you

 **yamagucci** : TSUKKI

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I'M KIDDING I'm not that extra

 **OrangeFucker** : lies

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Don't sass your mother

 

\----------

 

The light from the kitchen was dripping into the living room. The movie's main menu shining in front of the gang of teens and Hitoka suddenly turns back to the kitchen. "Yamaguchi! C'mon, we're waiting!" She shouts. A few of the others agree, shouting along with her.

In the kitchen, Tadashi is stuck trying to figure how he's suppose to carry out the seven drinks, popcorn, and other snacks all in one trip. Granted, he could ask his friends for help, but... That would require talking to them, and such. He's stood in the kitchen for another few minutes before Kei announces to the group of friends he's going to check on him.

They come out, just a few moments later, swift and quiet. Food is set on the table and they sit on opposite ends of the room.

 

\----------

 

 **yamagucci** : oh christ

 **matsin** : ?

 **yamagucci** : um so u know that friend of mine, tsukki?

 **bubblegumbitch** : You mean the guy that had that whole weird thing about your cat earlier?

 **yamagucci** : yeah him

 **yamagucci** : stuff with him just got kinda confusing

 **yamagucci** : like more than it's been in awhile

 **matsin** : Oh no

 

\----------

 

 **BlueberryFucker** : okay shouyou and i are leaving to get the pizza now and like

 **BlueberryFucker** : im gonna do it??

 **shippingtrash** : !!!

 **kunimeme** : im literally screaming

 **kunimeme** : true otp

 **kindamnichi** : keep us updated

 **BlueberryFucker** : god like

 **BlueberryFucker** : when should i really d o it ?

 **BlueberryFucker** : should i do it on our way to the pizza place

 **BlueberryFucker** : or when we get there

 **BlueberryFucker** : or on our way back

 **BlueberryFucker** : or i never do it and we pretend like i did?

 **kunimeme** : hey kageyama

 **BlueberryFucker** : yeah?

 **kunimeme** : about the last option

 **BlueberryFucker** : yeah?

 **kunimeme** : not an actual option mkay

 **BlueberryFucker** : wdbjdjkdk

 **shippingtrsh** : no but kags really if youre having second thouhgts its okay

 **kunimeme** : ^ yeah i was just kidding 

 **BlueberryFucker** : thanks

 **BlueberryFucker** : but i really do want to tell him

 **kunimeme** : good because i wasnt kidding youre not allowed to back out now

 **BlueberryFucker** : i

 **kindamnichi** : just do whatever feels natural

 **BlueberryFucker** : okay just lemme have a minute with him

 **BlueberryFucker** : ill update you guys in a minute

 **shippingtrash** : <3

 **kindamnichi** : you guys think he'll really do it?

 **kunimeme** : yeah, i think so

 **kunimeme** : theyre dumb n in love i have faith

 **shippingtrash** : me too, this will work out fine

 **BlueberryFucker** : o h god i fucked up

 **shippingtrash** : of course he did

 **BlueberryFucker** : we were walking into the pizza place and i went "what if i told you i had a crush on somebody" and he went "who is it?" and i yelled "obviously its not you what do you mean" i really did That im not kidding waht the fuck

 **BlueberryFucker** : then he nodded and was like "okay im gonna get the food" and im hyperventilating in the corner

 **kindamnichi** : are you really?

 **BlueberryFucker** : well no but im Stressed

 **kunimeme** : kageyama

 **BlueberryFucker** : hmm

 **kunimeme** : hinata is dumb in love with you

 **kunimeme** : really, if anything, shoutitng that 'obviously its not you' about a crush has only hurt him

 **kunimeme** : so u gotta go up to him and say 'hey i panicked and wanted to say i have a really giant crush on you and have no idea what to do with these emotions but yeah it is you please go out with me" just Gravel man

 **BlueberryFucker** : that sounds like it could work

 **kindamnichi** : i think kunimi did that to me once

 **kunimeme** : wdym once its how i got you to go out with me

 **shippingtrash** : ...right anyways

 **shippingtrash** : i have faith in you kags!

 **BlueberryFucker** : <3

 **kunimeme** : i hope 2 god he isnt gonna come back here and tell us he accidently pushed hinata in front of a car because he couldnt deal with the emotions

 **kindamnichi** : i should be putting him above that, i know i should be putting him above that

 **shippingtrash** : really! he'll be fine guys, by the end of the night kagehina will be together and ill still be in a messy 'what the actual fuck are we' relationship with kiyoko

 **kunimeme** : you sound a lil salty

 **shippingtrash** : oho i am practically Tsukishima Kei

 **kunimeme** : christ

 **shippingtrash** : oo i got a text

 **shippingtrash** : NOT FROM KIYOKO THOUGH HAKJSD

 

\----------

 

 **OrangeFucker** : TOBIO KISSED ME ?

 **OrangeFucker** : YACHI

 **OrangeFucker** : YACHI TOBIO LITERALLY KISSED ME HE TOLD ME HE'S HAD A BIG CRUSH ON ME AND KISSED MEUYACHI I AM CRYING I AM REALLY CRYING

 **shippingtrash** : WHY ARE YOU CRYING

 **OrangeFucker** : BECAUSE IM VERY HAPPY

 **OrangeFucker** : HE PANICKED WHENI STARTED CRYING HES BUYING ME A POPSICLE

 **OrangeFucker** : I'D TELL HIM ITS FINE AND THAT IM JUST REALLY HAPPY BUT i want a popsicle

 **shippingtrash** : omfg

 **shippingtrash** : BUT YES KAGEHINA

 **OrangeFucker** : !!!!!!!

 

\----------

 

 **BlueberryFucker** : AND THEN HE STARTED CRYING AMD I DONT KNOW

 **kunimeme** : aw shit

 **shippingtrash** : nah nah we good they was happy tears

 **shippingtrash** : told me himself

 **BlueberryFucker** : but

 **BlueberryFucker** : but i bought him a popsicle

 **shippingtrash** : youve been punked

 

\----------

_OrangeFucker has sent a picture_

**OrangeFucker** : WHYE ARE HYTE ON TH E ROOF

 **AlienBoy** : WHAT THE FUCK

 **OrangeFucker** : KUNIMI AND YACIH WERE MISSING OFR LIKE FIFTHEEEN NTUES SO W E CALLED THEM AND WE HEAR THEIR OPHONES RING ON THE ROOF I MSO CONCERNED

 **yamagucci** : i know how to set broken bones

 **Tsukishimasarus** : You can set my broken bones

 **yamagucci** : a nd I KNOW CPR

 **OrangeFucker** : DO U KNOW HOW TO REGULATE MY HEART BEAT

 **kunimeme** : can you hear my heart beat

 **shippingtrash** : TIRED OF FEELING NEVER ENOUGH

 **OrangeFucker** : GUYS WAH TTHE FUCK

 **shippingtrash** : yamaguchi said we could

 **OrangeFucker** : yams this wouldh ave been helpful when we were wondering where they are

 **yamagucci** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **yamagucci** : i live in a one story house its not a far drop tsukki fell off my roof when he was ten and he was fine

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yamaguchi, I broke my wrist

 **yamagucci** : but did u die

 

_shippingtrash has sent an image_

 

 **shippingtrash** : im gonna jump

 **BlueberryFucker** : do a backflip

 **shippingtrash** : fuckin watch me

 **BlueberryFucker** : ill catch you

 **OrangeFucker** : TOBIO WE'VE BEEN DATING HALF AN HOUR I'LL BREAK UP WITH YOU

 **BlueberryFucker** : i got this babe

 **OrangeFucker** : HECK

 **CreamyBoy** : wekl is no ome gonnaa sned pics

 **Tsukishimasarus** : I'll take a video

 **shippingtrash** : i took gymnastics itll b fine

 **OrangeFucker** : WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WORRIED

 **OrangeFucker** : im taking away tsukishimas and tobios parental rights

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : wtf no

 **shippingtrash** : doing it, akira is recording too yall have two perspectives

 **OrangeFucker** : IWAIZUMI BACK ME UP

 **GodzillaBoy** : ive been running to the hecking house to STOPTHIS MADNESS

 **AlienBoy** : Lies he's driving

 **GodzillaBoy** : MINOR DETAILS

 **AlienBoy** : I'm with him

 **AlienBoy** : He's brought a ladder

 **kunimeme** : good i dont feel like backflipping down

 **shippingtrash** : READY

 

_kunimeme has sent a video_

_Tsukishimasaurus has sent a video_

**GodzillaBoy** : I nearly crashed my hecking car

 **AlienBoy** : IM LAHGIGN

 **AlienBoy** : WHY DID YOU SCREAM CALL NINE ONE ONE

 **AlienBoy** : WE USE ONE ONE NINE I CANT BREATHE

 **OrangeFucker** : I PANICKED AND well i remembered this meme

 **Thirst** : i cnat believe he caught her

 **OrangeFucker** : guys im fifteen my heart is fragile

 **yamagucci** : tsukki ur thumb was in frame the whole time

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Listen

 **AlienBoy** : I JUST REWATCHED IT

 **AlienBoy** : TSUKISHIMA IS PRAYING

 **AlienBoy** : YOU CAN HEAR HIM WAHT HTEUFCK

 **yamagucci** : OHYMGOD

 **CreamyBoy** : giys im laihign sso jahrd

 **kindamnichi** : DID YOU GUYS WATCH AKIRAS VIDEO

 **kindamnichi** : WH Y IS NO ONE TALKING ABOTU WHAT YACHI SAID

 **AlienBoy** : 'show this kiyoko ill get laid'

 **AlienBoy** : WHEEZR

 

\----------

 

Tadashi nudged his foot against a sleeping Hitoka. "Yachi," He hisses. 'Yachi, wake up."

  
She stirs, but doesn't fully wake. An absentminded hand drifts in front of her, swatting at the empty space. He pokes her again, this time Hitoka's eyes open. "Yamaguchi?" She speaks with her words slurred together, thick with drowsey. It, instead, came out more like 'y'maguch'?'

Hitoka sits up, staring up at Tadashi with half opened eyes. She blinks. "What the fuck?" She asks.

He swallows hard. "I need to talk to someone. You, I guess."  
She's more awake now, fumbling with her mess of sheets and pillows as she tries to stand up. Only leaned forward on her knees and clutched the edge of the trunk that sat at the edge of Tadashi's bed, she tries again. "What happened?" He just nods in the direction of his bedroom door and Hitoka decides there is no choice, but to follow him.

So they exit the bedroom, Hitoka pulling a thin sheet tight around herself and mumbling about how cold she is. That, it's still Summer and it shouldn't be so cold. Tadashi is quiet as he leads her down the hall, finally reaching his sliding glass door and nodding at it. Hitoka gives him a look, before seeing his hands are full with two cups of tea.  
Grateful he thought of bringing tea, Hitoka slides the door open without complaint and then they're standing on his back porch, drinking tea, at three twenty-eight on a cold Sunday morning.

"What happened?" She asks again.

"I-" He stops and feels stupid. So stupid, so damn stupid.  
Hitoka brings her tea close to her mouth, but doesn't drink it. She whispers. "Yamaguchi." And suddenly, he's speaking again.

"When everyone was watching that movie before. Or-Or getting _ready_ to watch the movie, I mean," Tadashi says. "After Iwaizumi and Oikawa and the others left, when it was just us." Hitoka doesn't say anything. "Tsukki came into the kitchen to get me 'cause I was taken ages with getting snacks, or whatever." He stops briefly, bringing his own cup to his mouth with shaky hands. Some tea spills over the side, onto his fingers. "We were talking, about nothing really. And I was feeling stupid, so God damn stupid, I started getting really close to him and looking at him for a long while instead of little glances. I'd look at his lips, and stuff."

"Yamaguchi..." Hitoka starts, but leaves her sentence unfinished. She lets him continue.

Tadashi brings another hand to his hair. It was getting long, Kei's mother sometimes pestered him playfully about getting a haircut. "I made this move, I was holding the counter and pushed forward just a bit. We were close, Yachi, so close. And I knew I was being stupid when I did it, I knew I shouldn't of done it. But today was just so... But then he steps back and asked me what I'm doing and I didn't know what to say. So I just say, 'nothing' like I could really pass it off as nothing, like he couldn't tell I was making a move to kiss him."

Tadashi sits down on the wall at the end of his porch and looks up to Hitoka. "He told me it should stop. I understood that, but he makes me stupid." Tadashi sets his half full cup of cold tea on the wall.

Hitoka pulls her blanket around tighter and sets her own empty cup next to Tadashi's. She stared at them a moment. They were big, ugly mugs children made. She read the names printed clearly in green and yellow on the side. 'Kei' and 'Tadashi.' "What did he say after you answered him?"

Tadashi shrugs. "He said, 'Okay.' Like, like, it was no big deal. Like he didn't tell me to stop with trying. Like he couldn't care less."

Hitoka shifts and then takes a seat next to Tadashi, with two tea cups sat between them. "It... There's a lot of things you have to take into consideration right now."

"Like?"

She looks ahead of them, not able to look at Tadashi. "He... Tsukishima. He never wanted to change things between you two, he liked how they were."

  
"But he _let it_ continue. When it started again, he let it carry on and then he just... Decided against it, or something." The air is cold and slightly humid, it made the exposed skin of Tadashi's collarbone and wrists damp. "Why let it begin again at all?" He quiet a moment. "Why let me believe anything could change?"

"Are you sure this is all you want to tell me?" Hitoka asks.

Tadashi feels so stupid. He glances at her, looks away, glaces at her again. "After he told me, 'okay' and all. It was awkward, I guess, we were finishing getting stuff ready and we were all quiet... I was turning towards the sink to-uh-to rise my hands, I think, and Tsukki, he... He grabbed my arm..." Tadashi trails off. Hitoka watches him, he continues. "He pulled me back a bit, so I was facing him. And he leaned in, Yachi, he _leaned_ _in. Towards_ me. Tsukki was staring at my lips like I'd been doing with him earlier and then he says sorry. He says sorry, he lets go, and we grab the food. That was it and I can't stop fucking thinking about it..." Tadashi finishes, swallowing hard.

"Yamaguchi," Hitoka starts, pulling tighter at her blanket. It's small, not bit enough for the two. "Do you love Tsukishima?"

He doesn't answer at first. "No." He lies. "I just... Care about him. I care about him in ways I can't explain. If you knew what I did... What he's been through, you'd understand."

They sit in silence for a minute, then five, then ten completely silence minutes pass and Hitoka stands. "We should go back inside." She says.

Tadashi nods before saying. "Don't tell him." He says. "I just... I don't know what I would do if he knew what I was saying right now."

She nods. "I won't breath a word of it to anybody." Hitoka says.

Tadashi placed a hand on the door before saying. "He makes me crazy." A moment's pause. "No, worse than that. He makes me foolish."

Hitoka tries. "Yamaguchi."

Tadashi goes inside.

 

\----------

 

 **shippingtrash** : hey u asleep

 **kunimeme** : i have insomnia

 **shippingtrash** : so no then?

 **kunimeme** : nope

 **shippingtrash** : what u doing

 **kunimeme** : watching snk but my bfs bitch ass fell asleep

 **shippingtrash** : HA

 **kunimeme** : omg u know what i remembered

 **kunimeme** : so earlier while we were getting froyo they texted me yeah talking abt reading a fic i wrote for the laffs

 **shippingtrash** : lmao was it the iwaoi one

 **kunimeme** : kyoutahaba

 **shippingtrash** : YEs

 **kunimeme** : but so they're like

 **shippingtrash** : "henlo"

 **shippingtrash** : "henlo you STINKY KUNIMI"

 **shippingtrash** : "go eat a levi"

 **kunimeme** : "ive been trying to catch up on your fic but im so tired im going to sleep mother ive failed you"

 **kunimeme** : and i was like "its fine"

 **kunimeme** : and they're like "i've f a i l e d you"

 **kunimeme** : OHMYGOF

 **shippingtrash** : O h

 **shippingtrash** : that works too

 **shippingtrash** : IM SORRY

 **kunimeme** : IM LAVHIBF

 **shippingtrash** :SHSJHSJH

 **kunimeme** : im still laugjinf

 **kunimeme** : go eat a levi

 **kunimeme** : GLADLY

 **kunimeme** : ;;;;)))))

 **shippingtrash** : ARE U INYO VORE

 **shippingtrash** : IM KINKSHAMING

 **kunimeme** : dont KINKSHAME ME

 **kunimeme** : ill vore levi

 **kunimeme** : IM EREN IN TITAN FORM

 **shippingtrash** : AKIRA N O

 **kunimeme** : AKIRA Y E S

 **shippingtrash** : I CANNOT BE LI E V E

 **kunimeme** : BELEVI

 **kunimeme** : :)

 **shippingtrash** : I

 **kunimeme** : eren, as a titan: titaning

 **kunimeme** :  levi: VORE NE

 **shippingtrash** : STOP

 **kunimeme** : HAHHHAA

 **shippingtrash** : LET ME LI V E A VORE FREE LIFE

 **kunimeme** : in the zombie apocalypse we're basically just voreing eachother

 **shippingtrash** : why must you do this to me

 **kunimeme** : :)

 **shippingtrash** : I

 **kunimeme** :  levi, shouting to eren in titan form: VORE ME

 **shippingtrash** : why must you do this to me

 **shippingtrash** : I AM A C H I L D

 **kunimeme** : NO EXCUSES

 **kunimeme** : voring is a part of life

 **shippingtrash** : NOI T I. S NT

 **kunimeme** : hey

 **kunimeme** : what are those ties called

 **kunimeme** : that are strings

 **kunimeme** : y'know what i mean

 **shippingtrash** : no?????

 **kunimeme** : wait

 **kunimeme** : also IM NOT INTO VORE SHOULD I CLARIFY

 **shippingtrash** : THANK GOD

 **kunimeme** : I MEANT EAT LEVI LIKE

 **kunimeme** : SUCK HIS DICK

 **kunimeme** : or smth

 **kunimeme** : hes an anime character this doesn't sound good

 **kunimeme** : h e n t a i

 **kunimeme** : idk snk has a live action movie tho

 **shippingtrash** : i cant believe you're going to suck some anime dick

 **kunimeme** : don't exposé me

 **shippingtrash** : im screenshotting this

 **kunimeme** : n o

 **shippingtrash** : y e s

 **kunimeme** : mother y

 **shippingtrash** : U are the adult, I am the child

 **kunimeme** : child y

 **shippingtrash** : if u get the reference i will be forever grateful

 **shippingtrash** : IM AN ASSHOLE

 **kunimeme** : WHY

 **kunimeme** : i dont GET IT

 **kunimeme** : i probably go but im high

 **shippingtrash** : ITS FROM BO BURNHAMS RIGHT BRAIN LEFT BRAIN

 **kunimeme** : ING

 **kunimeme** : I EATCHD WHAT

 **shippingtrash** : H A

 **kunimeme** : I AM THE LEFT BRAIN

 **kunimeme** : hey u cant hold anything i say against me i am HIGH

 **shippingtrash** : OHGOD

 **shippingtrash** : SL E EP

 **kunimeme** : NO

 **kunimeme** : i have blueberries

 **kunimeme** : i am eating KAGEYAMA TOBIO

 **kunimeme** : kagayama

 **shippingtrash** : DONT HURT THE CHILD

 **kunimeme** : TOO LATSR F U C KER

 **shippingtrash** : PROTECT HIM

 **shippingtrash** : U MURDERER

 **shippingtrash** : SNK HAS GOTTEN INTO UR BRAIN

 **kunimeme** : VORING KAGEYAMA TOBIO

 **shippingtrash** : HE DOESNT DESERVE THIS

 **kunimeme** : kageyama desevres a  v o r i n g

 **shippingtrash** : HE DOES N O T

 **shippingtrash** : besides hinata is too smol for that

 **kunimeme** : HAH gay

 **shippingtrash** : me too thanks

 **kunimeme** : gasp

 **kunimeme** : henlo

 **kunimeme** : helllo STINKY HITOKA

 **kunimeme** : go eat a rainbow

 **shippingtrash** : i dont have to eat rainbows when im this homosexual

 **shippingtrash** : if i ate a rainbow i would be a gay god

 **shippingtrash** : BOW DOWN TO THW FORCES OF HOMOS

 **kunimeme** : gay god vs. straight god

 **shippingtrash** : gays would win

 **shippingtrash** : we have been under the rule of the straights for too long

 **kunimeme** : do it then

 **kunimeme** : vore a rainbow

 **shippingtrash** : ST I P

 

\----------

 

 **kunimeme** : hey ur probs asleep but i hate ereri and u might have misunderstood that bc i kept saying levi wanted to be vored by eren

 **shippingtrash** : omg

 **shippingtrash** : sleep

 **kunimeme** : no

 

_shippingtrash has added kindamnichi_

 

 **kindamnichi** : akira go to sleep wtf

 **kunimeme** : fuck

 **kunimeme** : im just scared hitoka will use the ereri against me

 **kindamnichi** : ew lmao

 **kindamnichi** : its a 15 yr old and a 30 yr old

 **kindamnichi** : nasty ass fujoshits smh

 **shippingtrash** : ur so passionate abt this

 **kindamnichi** : i love shingeki no kyojin and i will defend my beliefs regarding it forever

 **kunimeme** : just take me now

 

\----------

 

 **shippingtrash** : om cryign

 **shippingtrash** : i text akira at like 2 and he was talking about snk and voriign and i ncant

 **kunimeme** : dont expose me wtf

 **shippingtrash** : i never saw snk until u started talking abt it and then iwatched the first two episodes

 **shippingtrash** : titans are just voring people and

 **kindamnichi** : i heard titan

 **shippingtrash** : god what are you eren jeager

 **shippingtrash** : mfs trigger word is titan i stg

 **kindamnichi** : actually, im levi ackerman

 **kunimeme** : d a d d y

 **kindamnichi** : n o

 **kunimeme** : y e s

 **kindamnichi** : hah jokes on you im actually kindaichi yuutarou

 **kunimeme** : D A D D Y

 **AlienBoy** : Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man this was such trash im sorry you waited 3 months for it
> 
> I really wrote this whole thing to bts' cover of 'come back home'
> 
> I'm super upset abt the disrespect Seokjin's been getting + his lack of lines in this song (literally did he even get one?)
> 
> Anyways I only listen to it still bc Jimin sounds amazing Hobi at the beginning is amazing&Namjoon sounds really hot I'm w e t whoops tmi


	13. but we, the token lesbians,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **AlienBoy** : Why do they HATE US
> 
>  **GodzillaBoy** : it probably isn't cause they hate you
> 
>  **AlienBoy** : You fucker I said US
> 
>  **GodzillaBoy** : i'm aware

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bts stans go read my bts fic or im never updating tsukishima is tsuffering again

**kunimeme** : mmmmmi left my headphones at Yamaguchis

 **yamagucci** : you're never gonna get them back

 **shippingtrash** : never gonna give u up

 **yamagucci** : stop

 **shippingtrash** : im oddly offended 

 **yamagucci** : go tell it to ur gf

 **shippingtrash** : mm yeah lol 

**yamagucci** : ? are you okay ? you seem like all upset ?

 **shippingtrash** : kiyoko and i... man idk its weird and im just all messy about it

 **kunimeme** : you wanna talk about it?

 **shippingtrash** : idk

 

 **kunimeme** has removed **AlienBoy, GodzillaBoy, Thirst,** and **CreamyBoy** from **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **kunimeme** : in case they made u uncomfy

 **shippingtrash** : its not as though i thought they had been but im a lot more comfy just talking about this with the squad ig??

 **OrangeFucker** : is every with shimizu-senpai okay??

 **kindamnichi** : you were talking about stuff beign weird the other day

 **shippingtrash** : yeah

 **shippingtrash** : idk we used to talk like everyday and stuff but lately ?? idk it was like our relationship was really progressing !! and we should be together by now !! but idk

 **shippingtrash** : she kissed me and i was so happy but now im lucky if she answered a phone call

 **shippingtrash** : at school and at practice we just make small talk and its always nice but afterwards i know it isnt how it used to be and its just making me kinda sad

 **BlueberryFucker** : why dont you talk to her?

 **shippingtrash** : i want to but if i start turning the conversation in that direction, she kinda backs out and

 **shippingtrash** : what if realized our age difference or that she's going to university next year or that shes better than me or some thing stinky and awful

 **shippingtrash** : kiyoko hasnt dated many girls, but shes dated boys before like what if she just likes boys and girls were only a phase what if i was only a phase?

 **shippingtrash** : i know how that sounds but she cant even look me in the eyes like did she just stop liking me?

 **yamagucci** : shes bi right?

 **shippingtrash** : yeah

 **yamagucci** : when i was a kiddo i used to kinda sit in my bed and go "yeah im gay" but then id think about girls and think "oh no well i cant be gay" but then boys "no no defo gay" and so on and so forth. it was messing me up rly badly and eventually i got to talking to my parents about it and they explained bisexuality to me and they were like "if you only like boys and girls than youre bisexual and if you maybe like other genders, or dont really care, you'd be pansexual etc etc" and even now when i doubt myself i remember that its okay to be confused and think 'oh maybe today its 20% girls and 80% guys or vise versa' i dont gotta prove it to anyone

 **yamagucci** : maybe you just gotta remind her that its okay if shes confused and a little scared, that you'll be there to help and everything

 **shippingtrash** : maybe but if she tries to change the subject i always go along with it and i dont know how to stop it

 **kunimeme** : you just have to tell her its important to you that you talk about it right then and there and if shimizu still doesnt respect that, maybe she just isnt worth your time anymore hitoka

 **shippingtrash** : i care about her so much

 **shippingtrash** : i dont want to loose her

 **kindamnichi** : then this is what you have to do

 

**\---------**

 

 **shippingtrash** : kiyoko? you online?

 **shimizoom** : ah hitoka, hey what's up?

 **shippingtrash** : i just hoping to talk to you about something thats been on my mind for a little while now

 **shimizoom** : sure what?

 **shippingtrash** : its about uh

 **shippingtrash** : us?

 **shippingtrash** : everytime i've tried to talk about this with you before you always change the subject or ignore it and its starting to get to me

 **shippingtrash** : so i just need you to hear me out right now

 **shippingtrash** : when i met you, i thought you were insanely beautiful. everyone was staring at us cause YOU were talking to ME like this actual model came up to me and started talking to me it was crazy

 **shippingtrash** : and then we became friends and i started crushing on you and we'd talk and we'd flirt and i couldn't contain how happy you made me

 **shippingtrash** : kiyoko you make me so so happy

 **shippingtrash** : and then you kissed me ! you kissed me on the lips and my heart never beat so fast and i was so whipped for you i couldnt think straight

 **shippingtrash** : but now you dont call me, you rarely text me, never text first, we barely talk at practice, and if we do its awkward small talk, and you dont look me in the eyes anymore

 **shippingtrash** : and i need to know, is it something i did?

 **shippingtrash** : i dont want this to end, i dont want this to be over

 **shippingtrash** : but im sick of it being this messy, undefined thing. i want to call you my girlfriend i want to be your girlfriend

 **shippingtrash** : if it scares you, tell me, dont keep it to yourself

 **shimizoom** : hitoka, im sorry

 **shimizoom** : i never meant to make you so upset and feel neglected

 **shippingtrash** : i know you didnt. but it's whats happening

 **shippingtrash** : what happened?

 **shimizoom** : nothing happened i just

 **shimizoom** : i dont know

 **shippingtrash** : i hate seeing my friends getting together and being happy with each other when the girl ive been head over heels for is confused for her own feelings for me

 **shippingtrash** : its hurting me

 **shippingtrash** : something happened and i need you to tell me what

 **shimizoom** : im not even sure what

 **shippingtrash** : kiyoko please

 **shippingtrash** : you cant say that

 **shippingtrash** : it has to be something

 **shippingtrash** : it started a little after you kissed me

 **shippingtrash** : is that it? you kissed me and freaked out?

 **shimizoom** : no

 **shippingtrash** : then what?

 **shimizoom** : your mom doesnt know youre gay

 **shippingtrash** : oh okay so you want to dump me because im in the closet?

 **shippingtrash** : im scared to come out, okay, i dont like admitting it, but i am. i dont know what my mom will even do if she finds out, i dont know if she'll care or what and it scares me

 **shippingtrash** : are you that fucking shallow?

 **shimizoom** : its not about you being in the closet, its because im scared youre going to get caught or feel obligated to come out because of me

 **shippingtrash** : she could find out im gay but just a quick internet history search

 **shippingtrash** : kiyoko, im not stupid, im not blinded by my affection for you. even if you screamed in my face that you'd break up with me less i tell my mom im a lesbian, i still wouldnt tell her. youre suppose to respect that, and as far as i can tell, you want to

 **shippingtrashL** so what the hell is it?

 **shimizoom** : i told you

 **shippingtrash** : no you ddint that cant be it

 **shippingtrash** : youre not the type to put me in a situation like that and you know im not stupid

 **shippingtrash** : theres something youre not telling me

 **shippingtrash** : pelase

 **shimizoom** : its jsut becoming complicated and i dont know anymore?

 **shippingtrash** : you dont know?

 **shippingtrash** : about me? about your sexuality? what?

 **shippingtrash** : i want to help you

 **shimizoom** : everything, okay

 **shimizoom** : im going to tokyo for uni, im GOING to uni, we have a couple months left together and youre still growing and changing and i dont want to hold you back. we'll be hundred of miles away from each other, i dont want to see you get mad over that

 **shippingtrash** : im not mad over long distance, im mad over the fact youve only got bs recycled reasons so why youre acting as though we're nothing to each other

 **shimizoom** : its not bs

 **shippingtrash** : look just

 **shippingtrash** : ive heard what i needed to hear okay, i just need to go

 **shippingtrash** : i'll text you later

 

**\----------**

 

 **shippingtrash** : oh boy im crying

 **shippingtrash** : i made things so much worse

 **kindamnichi** : what happened??

 **shippingtrash** : idk i was talking to her and it was so

 **shippingtrash** : it was about me being in the closet, and her going to uni, and just so much bullshit

 **shippingtrash** : if she just wants to be friends just tell me, dont go through the trouble of making yourself feel like it HAS to end lmao

 **kunimeme** : you want me to come over?

 **shippingtrash** : idk im just

 **shippingtrash** : i wanted so badly for this to work

 **shippingtrash** : i was so intimidated by her at first, but then i get past her layers and she was just this sweet, wonderful girl that never failed to put a smile on my face and now

 **shippingtrash** ; everything is fucked up between us and idk what to do about it

 **shippingtrash** : crying real tears oh hell

 **kunimeme** : okay so im coming over

 **kunimeme** : with froyo

 **shippingtrash** : tysm

 **shippingtrash** : its scaring her, this... whatever this is

 **shippingtrash** : and i dont know how to help her

 **OrangeFucker:** awhile back she texted me, a little freaked because she kissed you without warning or permission and talked about you being in the closet and stuff

 **shippingtrash:** and?

 **OrangeFucker** : she just wants you happy and safe

 **OrangeFucker** : i'm not sure why shes doing this

 **shippingtrash** : shes not confused on her sexuality, she likes me, she wants me happy

 **shippingtrash** : why cant this just work

 **shippingtrash** : if its something different, something almsot unrelated, she should tell me right? if kiyoko is dealing with something i want to help

 **shippingtrash** : at this point i dont even care if we date or not i just want to know what the hell we are

 **shippingtrash** : why do you guys have everything so together or at least an idea of whats going on

 **shippingtrash** : but we, the token lesbians,

 **shippingtrash** : it's all kinda fucked

 **kunimeme** : im outside

 **shippingtrash** : okay ill let you in

 

\----------

 

 **AlienBoy** : We were removed from the first year's chat I'm offended

 **GodzillaBoy** : the old men were cramping their style

 **AlienBoy** : Stop

 **AlienBoy** : Why do they HATE US

 **GodzillaBoy** : it probably isn't cause they hate you

 **AlienBoy** : You fucker I said US

 **GodzillaBoy** : i'm aware

 **AlienBoy** : H a j i m e omg

 **GodzillaBoy** : t o o r u omg

 **AlienBoy** : I'm calling the police

 **GodzillaBoy** : is it because i have guns

 **AlienBoy** : What the fuck

 

_GodzillaBoy has sent an image_

 

 **GodzillaBoy** : guns

 **AlienBoy** : Bara Arms MMMM

 **GodzillaBoy** : that's gay

 **AlienBoy** : ;)

 **GodzillaBoy** : nice

 **GodzillaBoy** : hey tooru

 **AlienBoy** : Yessum, sweet summer child

 **GodzillaBoy** : i think i'm gay

 **AlienBoy** : Oh

 **AlienBoy** : I thought this was kinda

 **AlienBoy** : Established

 **GodzillaBoy** : well i mean, i knew i liked boys

 **GodzillaBoy** : but i kinda assumed i liked girls too?

 **AlienBoy** : Ah society forcing the hetero-norms onto it's youth, how tasty 

**GodzillaBoy** : i mean, for the most part, you were like what i looked to in the event of lgbt+

 **AlienBoy** : ?

 **GodzillaBoy** : well you knew who and what you were so young and you were so confident about it, so you liking both boys and girls, i guess i assumed i did too?

 **AlienBoy** : Aw Hajime

 **AlienBoy** : I'm flattered

 **AlienBoy** : But if you only like boys

 **AlienBoy** : Don't be embarrassed about it. This is something you have to wear like armor, something you can't let people use against you

 **AlienBoy** : Being bisexual, I have disadvantages and advantages. I can date a girl and I don't get looks or snide remarks, but even still, I get casted out of the lgbtqia+ community a lot because I haven't 'picked' yet or whatever

 **AlienBoy** : But I can't let that get to me, and you can't let that get to you either

 **GodzillaBoy** : thank you

 **GodzillaBoy** : hey tooru?

 **AlienBoy** : Yeah?

 **GodzillaBoy** : i think i need to tell you something and you might get mad about it

 **AlienBoy** : What?

 **AlienBoy** : What happened?

 **GodzillaBoy** : come over i dont want to do this over text

 **AlienBoy** : Okay, let me just tell Mama

 **AlienBoy** : Is it something bad?

 **AlienBoy** : Hajime?

 **AlienBoy** : Iwa-Chan?

 

**\----------**

 

 **shimizoom** : hitoka?

 **shimizoom** : please please answer me im so sorry

 **shimizoom** : hitoka please

 **shippingtrash** : hitoka is asleep, this is kunimi

 **shimizoom** : hitoka's friend?

 **shippingtrash** : yeah

 **shippingtrash** : i came over because she couldnt stop crying

 **shippingtrash** : whatever you have to say better be good

 **shippingtrash** : i shouldn't even be talking to you

 **shimizoom** : is she okay?

 **shippingtrash** : whats it to you?

 **shimizoom** : is she?

 **shippingtrash** : yeah

 **shippingtrash** : she was telling me what happened and then started having a panic attack, it took me twenty minutes to calm her down, then she went to sleep

 **shimizoom** : i didnt mean to do this

 **shimizoom** : i dont know how to explain myself to her and anything i say would just upset her

 **shippingtrash** : if its the truth, i think it'd help her

 **shimizoom** : when she wakes up, can you tell her to text me?

 **shippingtrash** : why should i

 **shippingtrash** : hitoka is my best friend she means the fucking world to me and if you end up hurting her again, it'll of been my fault

 **shimizoom** : i wont i just need to talk to her okay

 **shimizoom** : ive been stupid and none of what i say will make what ive been doing to her just, but i need to understand why i did them

 **shippingtrash** : fine

 **shippingtrash** : but if something like this happens again, you dont talk to her. stuff about your team and at practice cant be helped, but nothing else, got it?

 **shimizoom** : yes okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmm gimme that good kiyoyachi angst mmmm 
> 
> omg guess what guys omg so i went to new york and on my way back, someone dm'd me on Instagram n was like "hey are you the writer of Tsukishima Is Tsuffering?" N I was like ya and they were like "omg me and my friends love that fic!!" just sshsjshshs HI DINOSAESTHETIC !!! u made my day omfg


	14. well holy shit on a stick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Tsukishimasaurus** : Mother of pearl all my friends have kinks
> 
>  **shippingtrash** : tsukishima called me his friend on god i’m crying 
> 
>  **shippingtrash** : i’ve waited so long
> 
>  **shippingtrash** : id not only like to thank god but also jesus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I just started working at a froyo place and not even lying, this girl came in and got some froyo and she fucking dropped it and SCREECHED about dropping it and im here like "yachi?" i hate myself

**kindamnichi** : there are like twenty something texts from oikawa san asking me to add him back into the chat

 **shippingtrash** : im

 **kunimeme** : same tho

 **kunimeme** : hes like "kunimi-chan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! add!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" i dont know what to do

 **shippingtrash** : re add him back ig

 **shippingtrash** : does iwaizumi san want back in too??

 **kindamnichi** : there arent any messages from him about it s o

 

 **kindamnichi** has added **AlienBoy** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **AlienBoy** : Hey

 **AlienBoy** : So

 **AlienBoy** : Hajime and I are dating now

 **AlienBoy** : Thank you for your time

 

 **AlienBoy** has left **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **shippingtrash** : OOF

 **shippingtrash** : well holy shit on a stick

 **kunimeme** : poo blessed by the pope on a stick

 **shippingtrash** : stop JSHJSJ

 **shippingtrash** : fucking IWAOI

 **shippingtrash** : a y e

 **kindamnichi** : oh god are they gonna start flirting at practice

 **BlueberryFucker** : hah

 **OrangeFucker** : tobio,,, WE flirt at practice

 **BlueberryFucker** : s h h h h h

 **shippingtrash** : oh fuq

 **shippingtrash** : shit we have practice today

 **shippingtrash** : haha n i c e

 **shippingtrash** : can i c l as s i f yher as my EX

 **yamagucci** : i mean

 **yamagucci** : technically

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : You guys were basically dating, but then

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Idk I was fucking asleep, I just reread the chat

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Did Kunimi ever get his headphones back

 **kunimeme** : no

 **yamagucci** : :)

 **kunimeme** : anyways, hitoka, youre allowed to take a day off of management if you'd really want to

 **kunimeme** : not that id recommend it

 **shippingtrash** : w h y

 **kunimeme** : cause like

 **kunimeme** : look pm me ok?

 **shippingtrash** : fi n e

 **yamagucci** : and the drama begins

 

\----------

 

 **shippingtrash** : yo

 **shippingtrash** : what did you need to talk to me about?

 **kunimeme** : you were a huge fucking dick to shimizu okay?

 **shippingtrash** : not how i expected this conversation to go

 **shippingtrash** : i thought you were on my side

 **kunimeme** : i am on the Kiyoyachi side

 **kunimeme** : as in im trying to save ur fucking relationship

 **shippingtrash** : i see

 **shippingtrash** : unless im wrong you went off on her too??

 **shippingtrash** : that whole 'dont hurt hitoka' shit. what was that?

 **kunimeme** : because i know youre hurting and i know that if i was like 'oh hey but its not ur fault' youd just get pissed at me

 **kunimeme** : she was trying to explain herself

 **kunimeme** : hitoka i know that youve been bottling this stuff up for a while and that shes been dismissing it and now that you finally got a chance to just let it all out

 **kunimeme** : it felt like you wanted it to be something bad

 **shippingtrash** : what do you mean?

 **kunimeme** : like, she says that shes worried about sneaking around your mom and that if you were to come out just because of your relationship, shimizu would feel terrible about it and you know that

 **kunimeme** : and shes going to university in tokyo. this is a legitimate thing to take into account, yknow? its not like shes worried either of you would cheat but if your relationship is only held together by occasional visits, texting, and working around both you busy schedules, it could easily fall apart and leave you two upset and angry at each other

 **kunimeme** : shes allowed to be scared for you and about your relationship, platonic or not

 **kunimeme** : obviously, shimizu has been overthinking all these things and for her to finally tell you them (because like you, she'd been holding it in) i think she was expecting you to maybe try and offer a solution? but you just kinda dismissed them as 'im not stupid i wont come out if im not ready' and you calling her reasons bullshit?

 **kunimeme** : you completely invalidated what she was saying because youve been hurting too, youve been overthinking too, and its like you didnt want her to legitimately have reasons you just wanted her to be the bad person thats bad for no reason and that you finally get to tell her everything youve been thinking and that she wont have anything to say in return so you kept invalidating her

 **kunimeme** : i know this whole thing has messed you up, but its been screwing her up too

 **shippingtrash** : i just

 **shippingtrash** : i thought if she really cared about me, then whatever was making this happen, it had to be bad or it had to be because she doesnt think of me like that anymore

 **shippingtrash** : so for her to give me these reasons and thats why shes so hesitant to be with me, it just kind of 

 **shippingtrash** : it felt too easy

 **shippingtrash** : like maybe we figure out a way to have a relationship without my mom finding out or maybe i do actually come out or i dont know

 **shippingtrash** : and maybe university wouldnt be too bad and we'd be okay

 **shippingtrash** : but for so long its been so messy and weird and to just solve it like that

 **shippingtrash** : i was ready for something really really awful and it just wasnt that so it felt like i was being lied to

 **kunimeme** : she really really does like you

 **kunimeme** : i think you should talk to her today

 **kunimeme** : okay?

 **shippingtrash** : yeah

 **kunimeme** : practice is starting, ive got to go. we can talk after alright? i could come over and you can fill me in on the hot goss

 **shippingtrash** : yeah, we can get some froyo and either cry together or be like "whew"

 **kunimeme** : <3 see you later

 **shippingtrash** : <3

 

\---------

 

 **shimizoom** : she talked to me today after evening practice

 **shimizoom** : thank you

 **kunimeme** : no problem <3

\---------

 

 **OrangeFucker** : YACHI

 **shippingtrash** : WHAT

 **OrangeFucker** : WHERE DID YOU AND SHIMIZU SENPAI GO AFTER PRACTICE?

 **shippingtrash** : yeet um

 **shippingtrash** : we talked

 **shippingtrash** : for a long while

 **shippingtrash** : its not like fixed completely and we still have more talking to do, but

 **shippingtrash** : we were able to hear each other out and it was a lot better than last time

 **shippingtrash** : im just really happy

 **shippingtrash** : ahhhhhhhh :)))

 **kindamnichi** : is akira with you

 

_shippingtrash has sent an image_

 

 **shippingtrash** : we're doing face masks

 **kindamnichi** : he looks fucking CUTE

 **kunimeme** : c h o k e

 **kindamnichi** : <3

 **shippingtrash** : yo someone fill me in on oikawa san and iwaizumi san

 **shippingtrash** : were they rly gross or

 **kunimeme** : GIRL

 **kunimeme** : they like, explained how it happened yknow

 **kindamnichi** : basically they was chatting

 **kindamnichi** : and iwaizumi san was like "hey i think im gay"

 **kindamnichi** : and then he and oikawa san went to someones house and discussed

 **kunimeme** : and iwaizumi san fucking confessed

 **shippingtrash** : oh my GOD

 **kunimeme** : and then oikawa san is like "do u rly think i couldn’t tell lmao ive been in lvoe w u since i was like ten"

 **kunimeme** : and then we caught them making out in the locker room

 **BlueberryFucker** : ew

 **kindamnichi** : REALLY THOUGH

 **OrangeFucker** : tobio sweetie ily but they are like a fucking reflection of our relationship okay

 **OrangeFucker** : hypocrite

 **BlueberryFucker** : LISTEN

 **yamagucci** : hinata has like three hickies ON HIS FUCKING NECK

 **OrangeFucker** : yes

 **OrangeFucker** : three

 **OrangeFucker** : only three

 **OrangeFucker** : (only on my neck)

 **yamagucci** : HEATHEN

 **BlueberryFucker** : the pinning itself got me to the stage where im dtf now

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : S T O P

 **BlueberryFucker** : :) 

 **kunimeme** : WERE LISTENING TO KESHA

 **shippingtrash** : RAINBOW IS THE BEST THING

 **kunimeme** : JUST KNOW

 **shippingtrash** : THAT IF YOU FUCK AROUND

 **kunimeme** : BOY ILL HUNT YOU DOWN

 **kindamnichi** : ,,,,i love you?

 **kunimeme** : B)

 **shippingtrash** : ngl we had to google the translated lyrics

 **shippingtrash** : @why do kags n hinata come to me for english help i cant speak english

 **kunimeme** : oikawa san randomly speaks english at practice and its fucking annoying

 **kindamnichi** : wasnt kesha the tik tok lady

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Yes, but she had to take a four year long break because she was in this heavy legal battle with her producer. Kesha said he emotionally, physically, and sexually abused her

 **kindamnichi** : ohmygod

 **kindamnichi** : thats actually disgusting what the fuck is wrong with him

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : So many things

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : I was heavily invested in this entire ordeal, like I heard someone mention it and I was googling stuff and

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : But now she's back and I am glad

 **yamagucci** : for like three months he kept calling me and being like "yamaguchi, HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS"

 **yamagucci** : it was beyond me why he was so into western culture

 **shippingtrash** : im cryiing i just looked up the lyrics to praying and transaltedthem and im

 **kunimeme** : shes been though so much i love her

 **shippingtrash** : a queen 

 **kunimeme** : TBH

 **kindamnichi** : akira is so cute when he gets soft over music skdjdk 

 **kunimeme** : you fuck 

 **shippingtrash** : HES BLUSHING HAHAHHA

 **kunimeme** : choke

 **OrangeFucker** : isn’t that just you and turnip?

 **kindamnichi** : s top

 **kunimeme** : he ain’t wrong 

 **kindamnichi** : can we not

 **kunimeme** : no we gotta

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Mother of pearl all my friends have kinks

 **shippingtrash** : tsukishima called me his friend on god i’m crying 

 **shippingtrash** : i’ve waited so long

 **shippingtrash** : id not only like to thank god but also jesus

 **kunomeme** : sweetie no

 **yamagucci** : sweetie?

 **yamagucci** : ion know they get to use pet names but i can’t tsukki

 **Tsukishimasaurus** : Idk either babe 

 **yamagucci** : whatever stud muffin 

 **OrangeFucker** : STUB MUFFIN

 **OrangeFucker** : stud*

 **kunimeme** : stub muffin

 

 **Tsukishimasaurus** is now **stub muffin**

 

 **stub muffin** : I don’t

 **stub muffin** : Like this 

 **kunimeme** : too fucking late stub 

 **stub** **muffin** : I’m a good Christian living my life what have I ever done

 **yamagucci** : you stole french fry from me during break for like three weeks 

 **stub** **muffin** : He came to ME

 **yamagucci** : LIES

 **stub** **muffin** : Time to throw down with Yamaguchi jfc

 **shipoingtrash** : PLACES UR BETS

 **BlueberryFucker** : yamaguchi

 **BlueberryFucker** : hes fucking scary when he wants to be 

 **yamagucci** : thank you

 **yamagucci** : not to fuckingmention tsukki you disrespected my bias 

 **stub** **muffin** : Taehyung’s a God and Hoseok is a cancelled headass 

 **shippingtrash** : tbh

 **shippingtrash** : honestly bts could turn me straight if they really tried

 **shippingtrash** : me most of the time: “look at how gay i am i love girls so soft and pretty”

 **shippingtrash** : me looking at bts: who in the fresh hell

 **yamagucci** : a lot of korea is kind of uneducated abt black culture i don’t think he meant to offend anyone

 **kindamnichi** : BUT NAMJOON

 

 **kunimeme** has removed kindamnichi from **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **kunimeme** : NOT ON MY WATCH

 **kunimeme** : NOT

 **kunimeme** : ON

 **kunimeme** : MY

 **kunimeme** : WATCH

 **kunimeme** : joon apologized and acknowledged what he did was wrong SO HOSEOK SHOULDNT BE DOING THIS FUCKERY

 **stub** **muffin** : THANK YOU

 **kunimeme** : honestly i love stanning seokjin boy does nothing wrong he cooks and laughs like a windshield wiper what more could you need 

 **yamagucci** : can’t relate 

 **yamagucci** : TSUKKI I WASNT TALKING ABOUT HOSEOK he’s a headass

 **yamagucci** : you said i should stan taehyung instead of yoongi and i was offended 

 **stub** **muffin** : Fuck

 **BlueberryFucker** : i don’t even know bts very well but you guys talk about it so much i just quietly like jungkook 

 **shippingtrash** : u wuld fucking stan jeongguk 

 **OrangeFucker** : baby what abt jimin

 **shippingtrash** : you spelled angel wrong

 **OrangeFucker** : um no angel is spelled j-i-m-i-n

 **shippingtrash** : who else hates it when “angel that deserves the world” autos to park jimin ://

 **kunimeme** : oikawa says he stans namjoon but, in order of favorite to least,  jimins last

 

 **shippingtrash** has added **AlienBoy** and **kindamnichi** to **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**  

 

 **shippingtrash** : jimin is an ANGEL

 **shippingtrash** : begone THOT

 **AlienBoy** : I STILL LOVE HIM I’M JUST LOYAL TO THE RAP LINE!

 **AlienBoy** : Hoseok is kind of a headass rn but I love him 

 

 **shippingtrash** is now **jimin** **stan**  

 

 **jimin stan** : B E  G O N E  T H O T

 

 **jimin** **stan** has removed **AlienBoy** from a **Tsukishima Is Tsuffering**

 

 **kindamnichi** : good thing jimin is my bias wrecker skdjdk 

 **jimin** **stan** : yeet 

 **kunimeme** : i thought i was your bias wrecker :(

 **kindamnichi** : you’re my bias

 **jimin** **stan** : don’t tell yoongi 

 **kindamnichi** : fuck, my d boy

 **kunimeme** : fuck my d, boy

 **kindamnichi** : d a m n 

 **jimin** **stan** : there are just days i’m so especially grateful for akiras friendship 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my talents include: not updating for months, getting iwaoi together, fixing kiyoyachi, talking about how much i love kesha, and bts stuff


End file.
